Advice for a Newbie

[Celestial-Succubus]

So I'm sure I have gotten past the educational portion of BDSM to where I would like to start exploring the actual dynamic.

Many people have told me not to start out with Master/Mistress/Slave but that is the only dynamic I am attracted to, I don't think a dom/sub relationship would work out for me, especially if it wasn't a 24/7 dynamic. 

How should I go about entering something like that but isn't going to be too overwhelming? My thoughts are to start off a small temporary contract and work my way up with a partner but still keep it 24/7, that way I can feel like I am taking on the slave role without it being immediately extreme but because I am new I'm not sure, any thoughts or advice are welcome! ! ~just don't be rude please~ thank you  : )

Edited May 4, 2022 by Celestial-Succubus

[Lord_Talion]

MAsT is a worldwide group within our community that was created for primarily M/s.

You do you and spit on any that says to do otherwise. I'd suggest you find a Master or Mistress that seems to have the same idealistics of life and the lifestyle as you and see if they will train you as a slave. Training may take years and you may fall in love with your trainer so be prepared for anything.

[Foxter]

24/7 is definitely a heavy kink to start out with. It's a hot fantasy but it takes a lot more commit than people realise. I've done it from the dom side and even that can be mentally draining and exhausting over a long time. Let alone the submissive side.

So yes I wouldn't recommend it as a beginner. When playing you'll learn that not all your fantasies will be what you actually enjoy. So my advice is just take it slow and tip your toe into a variety of kinks for now. And then yes work you way up. But there's really no rush.

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for posting your question - I’m even more new to this and found this and the comments helpful.

[Dragonlady1976]

I recently met a man who says that he has been looking for a woman who understands his desire to be dominated by her, to cater to her, and that it makes him feel fulfilled.  I am an emotionally strong and assertive woman, which is what caught his attention.  I very much love men and men who know who they are and what they want are much more attractive.  I do find it very erotic for men to deny themselves something that they want, seeing them barely hold on to that control is very sexy, and being able to intensify that intrigues me very much.  I will be spending time with this man in about a week and I don’t want my mind to go blank when it comes to ideas.  He is from an Eastern European country, so the hang ups that so many American men have are not there.  I find that just that much more exciting.  He has said that being dominant seems to come to me naturally and I do agree, but I am just a bit anxious because I do not want to disappoint.

[Celestial-Succubus]

Wednesday at 04:24 PM, Foxter said:

24/7 is definitely a heavy kink to start out with. It's a hot fantasy but it takes a lot more commit than people realise. I've done it from the dom side and even that can be mentally draining and exhausting over a long time. Let alone the submissive side.

So yes I wouldn't recommend it as a beginner. When playing you'll learn that not all your fantasies will be what you actually enjoy. So my advice is just take it slow and tip your toe into a variety of kinks for now. And then yes work you way up. But there's really no rush.

I understand, the reason why I prefer 24/7 is mostly because bdsm is not a bedroom thing for me at least not strictly. I value the power exchange in bdsm much more than the sexual aspects, so I cant start out in the bedroom because I prefer not to start with play/sessions/scenes etc. It most definitely can be draining but I really don't want to start off with kinky or sexual aspects although I do enjoy bdsm in the bedroom I much prefer it outside of that. I really appreciate the advice but to me 24/7 isn't necessarily a kink its who I am as a sub and I prefer the rules, punishments etc rather than the scenes in the bedroom

[Deleted Member]

I’m trying to rediscover myself due to pandemic and fake people tribute via PayPal or gift cards only helps one person that you will never meet with all ways speak to the person the old way phone don’t give in no matter how demanding they are.