Masochists are my 'type'- seeking advice

[teslamania]

Recently, I noticed a pattern to things I enjoy in media. Though a masochist myself, I very much like seeing masochists and masochism in TV and movies - seeing someone react to pain with enjoyment, laughter, etc. is a big turn-on. But I know I'm not a sadist myself, as the thought of inflicting pain does nothing for me, and if the - ahem - receiving party is not enjoying the pain I'm downright uncomfortable-to-grossed out. But for some reason when someone displays masochism in media, I'm instantly endeared to their character and also Feeling Feelings. As an added confusing bonus, it's often in a non-sexual context, like when someone reacts this way during a fight or whilst being tortured or interrogated. Where does that land me, kink-wise? I have a couple running theories, not the least of which is just "masochistic voyeur/voyeurist masochist", but I just wanted an outsider opinion. 

[BigPolly]

Being a masochistic sub I love seeing other subs receive pain, it is totally totally sexual for me, it turns me on & excites me & sometimes sets my next mental challenge for myself but I only like seeing it in a fetish setting not in the media etc. I do understand the non-sexual thing though because I was a Domme for many years & although I loved it, it was an immense thrill for me. It was amazing & I was good in that role & even though it excited me in a very thrilling way it was not particularly overly sexual for me.

[Mi****]

As a sadistic domme I love to watch other dom/mes do their thing. Its interesting and exciting for me and also kind of comforting that I'm not the only person who likes to inflict pain. I think there may be a bit of the voyeur in all of us

Edited August 22, 2018 by MissTillysue
spelling

[Fimus]

I have always seen myself as 100% sub, but recent events have made consider switching and I have found that I would love to do to others all that I want done to me because it means I get a vicarious sub experience. But I would absolutely insist on that person being completely aware of they would be in for (I can be intense) and that they do it because they would enjoy it

[cocksuckerpisspig]

Agree. I want to see and know the person enjoys the pain! Silent pain pigs are so much more rewarding. As well as those that ask for more pain.

[cocksuckerpisspig]

I myself take a fair amount of pain & always enjoy it. CBT mostly.

[An****]

On 8/21/2018 at 12:49 AM, teslamania said:

But I know I'm not a sadist myself, as the thought of inflicting pain does nothing for me, and if the - ahem - receiving party is not enjoying the pain I'm downright uncomfortable-to-grossed out.

I can mostly relate, except that for me it's not just voyeuristic. I enjoy personally hurting people when I know they like. It's never felt like typical sadism because it only works if I know they like it and it's more a desire to give pleasure specifically through pain than to cause pain.

The voyeurism aspect is the part that's newer for me but I definitely enjoy watching someone being hurt and enjoying it. Which is a little surprising to me since I'm not super into voyeurism about other things.

This isn't something I've been super-self conscious about but it's good to know I'm not the only one.