Your experiences of the Lobby Chatroom

[Deleted Member]

1. What's your experiences of the Lobby chatroom? (good / neutral/ or bad)

2. Are you an old timer, a few months in, or a complete newbie to the Lobby chatroom?

3. Not to suggest or influence the Lobby Chatroom needs changing, but what do you think would make it a better environment?

[TeeJay_98]

I've been using the lobby for a few years... Its not like it used to be 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Cr****]

I've been a lurker for a few months now, just started going on it as I want to actually meet people with my interests... But but don't know how to get myself involved in a conversation 😂

[wo****]

Find it difficult to jump in

[Deleted Member]

I had a neutral experience, just didn't feel anything for the conversation. 

I don't think there is anything that could be done to help or change the atmosphere. It is what it is. You can't change human beings 😃

[Vi****]

I see your not really enamoured with the lobby from the clique comments on other threads. Can I ask you why you think that it's cliquey?

I believe you put in what you get out of something.  So yes I use the lobby to chat and meet people find out info. It can be fast paced, you just have to jump in and make a little effort. I've met with some great people off there at events, so i guess if theres a mutual friendliness its often perhaps from people whove met or are there making connections. Sometimes I feel the negativity comes from people who don't like how the chat is going, because it's not how they deem it to be. 

I'd say if your new just lurk I like to lurk Sometimes and then just say hi now and again, and add something if you like and try asking questions 😉 

[Deleted Member]

I’m a newbie and man it’s really hard to jump in to a conversation, and even once you do it only lasts a minute or two before the regulars get back to their conversations.

[Je****]

Been using it for 2years. 

 

It's definately changed a lot in the time I've been there. 

 

Some days are better than others

 

There are a revolving door of kinksters, personalities and experiences. 

Every say in there is different to the next. 

 

I've had real bad times. Real good times. 

But I have to the most part found my kink fam. Some of the best friends I could ask for. Some are brutal. Some are honest. Some are compassionate. Some are absolutely bat shit crazy in the best way. But all of them are perverts.

 

As long as we each do our very best to be a good, kind, understanding and welcoming person then it'll go smoothly. But like real life and families, some times it can be strenuous. You need a thick skin or a different perspective. Or at times the block feature is maybe best. 

Vic mentioned above cliques have been mentioned. I believe this to be very true. Sometimes it's nothing but friendships and it can seem over whelming, and at other times it can be people seeing trolls and traits if silly geese coming in and mocking the lifestyles. No one is perfect.  Every day each of us learn something new in there. We can't all always get along. That's life. 

No one in there has had it 100% easy I would say. But people who come in and regular and contribute are all very valued. Just as much as new people who are starting out.

Everyone deserves that chance. 

It'll get better, it'll get worse but again that is very much like life.  

We all find our groove eventually. Just never give up being you. If people can't accept you for that, they're not worth your personal time. 💕

[ey****]

a lot of the things about the chat have been brought up before and there really isn't an easy solution

because while newbies might sometimes feel shut out.  Regulars often feel they don't want to babysit a lot of newcomers - and while a lot of newcomers do have good attitudes - there's so many come in and try to *** role play or start private messaging people for play and so on

so; it does take a little while to be able to break in especially if you don't feel you've much to add at the second

but take some of it as learning 

[Deleted Member]

Well the first thing that could make chat better is auto refresh on desktop. It’s a *** In the ass trying to keep up when you have to constantly “jump to the newest message” or scroll.

[Mz_Whiplash]

Personally for me.... I have been a member for 5 years I lurk I partake I engage if its interesting for me or i highlight safety in kink ...  I love learning about other kinks its prolly why I stick around ... sadly tho ive found people really do not do themselves any favours ........... they seek ... for there own gratification ... dont actually engage in the convos ... then spit their dummies out .. which is sadly very reflective on themselves ... then blame chat ... we are truly responsible for our own actions and choices.... 

[MrLeatherCrotchBoots]

I can't do chat rooms, it is just far to chaotic for me

[Deleted Member]

Well I just popped on the chat lobby at 11.35pm on a Friday night and got utterly launched into by a few within seconds of joining  (no exaggeration) It was made clear to me from the offset, some entirely transparent forum post activity had been circulated within the core establishment and there was shared awareness. I lasted what 3 minutes of what can only describe as a flowing barrage of assault. I won't name and shame who launched into me as above that, and not really relevant to shame individuals. I also don't want to influence anyone as believe all should evaluate the benefits, merits and value of participating in said "energetic" chat arena for themselves.

From a personal perspective I simply can't revisit such an abhorrent and aggressive clique environment (as I see it anyway) and that's fine. Happy to stick to the less impulsive and more measured conversation format of a forum where conversation is recorded and accountable within a public domain. I genuinely hope some positive progress comes from this posted topic discussion, and that whatever volume of consensus from various users is shared here better informs and helps the site owners evaluate and shape the chatroom provision going forward. I for one will not return there, and will stick to the safety and security of a more accountable and transparent forum format of conversation... suits me just fine.

Edited July 1, 2022 by Deleted Member

[Cr****]

I tried again earlier, got blanked. Not very welcoming at all, the clique have their bubble it seems and makes it very difficult to get involved with for the rest of us. Shame really as it's meant to be an inclusive platform but doesn't feel like it.

[MzLeatherClad]

I have been using lobby chat about 18 months. I just jump in but I have a thick skin. 😂😈

[MzLeatherClad]

^^^^^ my first forum reply 😀

[Humble_Sea_Dog]

I haven't had a problem in the lobby i just stay on topic and keep to the formal and maybe some informal rules. I think that some of the regular people in my humble opinion have a ways to weed out bots, and not very nice people and people who haven't read the rules or have an agenda on what they wish to chat about. The lobby seems to be very well self policed with mods dropping in when needed or asked. The lobby is like a strong sea current if its going in a certain direction at this point their is no possible way you can change it in a different direction maybe on the side lines you can make a little distance. So i think if the discussion isn't to your liking maybe come back later or wait and see if their is something you can add.

[TeeJay_98]

It very much depends on the crowd you get, the time you go in and the way your portray yourself from the get go.

Some of the members are more welcoming than others but often we see a new person come in, say 'the wrong' thing and get jumped on by the others. 

It CAN be a friendly and relaxed place to be, very rarely... But it does happen. 

The issues in there have been flagged many times, to a point where if you complain... You will be told to leave and come back later - no matter what the issue may be. 

But thats just the way it is unfortunately.  🤷🏼‍♀️ 

[Ky****]

mostly its good, been in it for a few years, occasionally it can get toxic and of course there's always the problem of can't please everyone so ppl will feel ignored or insulted by other convos going on

mostly i'd say friendly

[Je****]

9 hours ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

Well I just popped on the chat lobby at 11.35pm on a Friday night and got utterly launched into by a few within seconds of joining  (no exaggeration) It was made clear to me from the offset, some entirely transparent forum post activity had been circulated within the core establishment and there was shared awareness. I lasted what 3 minutes of what can only describe as a flowing barrage of assault. I won't name and shame who launched into me as above that, and not really relevant to shame individuals. I also don't want to influence anyone as believe all should evaluate the benefits, merits and value of participating in said "energetic" chat arena for themselves.

From a personal perspective I simply can't revisit such an abhorrent and aggressive clique environment (as I see it anyway) and that's fine. Happy to stick to the less impulsive and more measured conversation format of a forum where conversation is recorded and accountable within a public domain. I genuinely hope some positive progress comes from this posted topic discussion, and that whatever volume of consensus from various users is shared here better informs and helps the site owners evaluate and shape the chatroom provision going forward. I for one will not return there, and will stick to the safety and security of a more accountable and transparent forum format of conversation... suits me just fine.

Same has happened to me. Please believe me block feature works best. I've been through it. 

Shitty cliquey people are bringing the who reputation down, this comment here very much makes me sad. You can't and won't please everyone. Just block or ignore. 

I say this, I'm stubborn myself. But I go in there for the positivity and people who matter. 

Maybe a breather from there can be useful. Helps refresh the head a bit. 

 

 

[Je****]

I'd also like to say I genuinely believe having different and impartial mods. Perhaps on rotation moderate in there for unbias and fair and fresh eyes to chatter and comments in that lobby would seriously work wonders to stop the kind of things described above. 

 

But I have requested this before to no avail perhaps fresh posts like this can have it taken into consideration again. 

[Je****]

9 hours ago, Crawlex said:

I tried again earlier, got blanked. Not very welcoming at all, the clique have their bubble it seems and makes it very difficult to get involved with for the rest of us. Shame really as it's meant to be an inclusive platform but doesn't feel like it.

Please do come back in. New people and positivity and experiences is very much needed. Don't give up. I'll always try to say hello where I can 😁😁

[Ch****]

The chatroom when I first come here was a very different place from what it is now. I have posted about this in the past too. This Seemed to start when the app got launched, and the lobby was getting a constant flow of trolls. I do believe that is what has made the place more hostile

[Deleted Member]

I have a thick skin and can take a bit of banter and even some unwarranted or unprovoked attack. When you join a chat and your getting launched into within seconds having not even spoke a word or had opportunity to, then you know a line has been crossed and the chatroom is untenable for you.

No regrets going public here. Enjoying the forum side of the site more, which for me is more stimulating and interesting.

What I should stress for purposes of balance and fairness really is I acknowledge there are many lovely regulars on the chat. I encountered many whom were nothing other than welcoming and friendly, and a sheer pleasure to communicate with 🙂🔆. I also met a nice lady via the lobby chatroom who has been very patient with me, while wanting to meet me in person. So on further reflection and balance while there is an undeniable core of "toxicity" as others stated, that rules and can sometimes overwhelm, there is also lots of WARMTH☀️, LOVE❤ and NICENESS 🙂 under that surface, if you can find it, that is there 

@Finally_Jensome constructive suggestions and solutions offered! 👍 I'd like to think things can be improved for all, and maybe I and any others who have felt banished or ***d out can give it a go again one day.

One of my own offered solution suggestions on another post where chatroom came up was: more chat rooms to cater for different personalities, types, attitudes etc. Even have an "old-timers" room and a "newbies" room perhaps.

[Cr****]

55 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

Please do come back in. New people and positivity and experiences is very much needed. Don't give up. I'll always try to say hello where I can 😁😁

I'll give it another crack soon, there is definitely more to this that lurking behind a keypad! Maybe there's also an element of insecurity, speaking for myself anyway. I assume that apps like these are male dominated, so I feel there's a bit of competition especially in a live chat, or I somehow need to prove myself like 'who's this guy butting in on our turf' 😂 Very nice of you to say though, much appreciated. Think it's just a confidence issue and self-worth in shorter terms.