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Would you rather: (A) Be in a 100% satisfying long distance LTR, or (B) a far less satisfying local LTR ?


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Posted

So a bit bit more context:

WOULD YOU RATHER:

A - Be in a 100% satisfying long distance LTR?   (i.e. Its a fantastic connection, but you can only seen your partner once per month, its costs a few quid re travel, and travel time, and it could be like this for many years, before either of you can commit to relocating).

OR

B - Be in a less satisfying local LTR?   (i.e. your making lots of compromises, the connection isn't quite what you would want, your not even sure it could last long term, but you can see your partner regularly several times a week, as much as want to see them really, and there is scope to move in together when ready, and your fetishes/kinks/sex needs are partially met every week).

Posted
Those are both gross options. 🤣 I'd choose A though. Life is too short to settle for 'kind of ok'.
Posted
Definitely A - with that type of connection the intensity can only get better. The build up of each meeting would make it even more special each time because you would want to make to most of every moment physically spent together
Posted
B doesn't even bear consideration - being with the right person once a month far outweighs being with the wrong person several times a week
Posted

If we're talking purely monogamous 

then, A.   Every time.

incidentally my marriage started that way - although, we knew there was going to be an option : my wife was actually local, they just were away at uni when I met them - so the first 18 months was as a distance relationship. 

Posted
I’ve been single for so long that I would take A or B just to have someone to cuddle with!
Posted
A is far more worthwhile of the two types you describe and, if it keeps developing, shows real commitment by both parties. Had an A over 10 years ago, 300 km away, and despite complications during the relationship, we’re still very good friends.
Posted
Definitely A - I settled for Mediocre before, and I am *done* with settling. However that means I’ve had just three encounters in ten years and although the bar is set high, some would say I let the Perfect be the enemy of the Good. Still… ‘alone’ does not always mean ‘lonely’; and ‘lonely’ does not always mean ‘desperate’. ☺️
Posted

Interesting responses. To answer my own question its A for me with no thought required.

Like many I expect I really want option C - but prepared to settle for option A and be patient with a long game (just a phrase, don't consider it a game).

Posted

What wouldn’t you do for someone who made you feel that special, who ticked all your boxes and matched your needs and desires, for someone you want to be with all the time even though you can’t? No  distance or obstacle is too great when something is that good.

Posted
19 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

What wouldn’t you do for someone who made you feel that special, who ticked all your boxes and matched your needs and desires, for someone you want to be with all the time even though you can’t? No  distance or obstacle is too great when something is that good.

I think this is spot on... distance can be an obstacle and isn't ideal, but if a relationship has everything it needs in terms of attraction, connection, kinky desires... then you will both make the effort to make it work.  

Straight_Switch
Posted

Neither I'll wait for the right thing to come along.

Nylon-Nellie
Posted

Some people will relocate and some won't relocate. Having said that, one sub has recently relocated and moved in with her Dom.

I would rather be in a committed relationship, where we see each other every two weeks. Option B is a no no from me.

Posted

An easy "A". I'm too old and have been through too much to be compromising on things which are important or frittering time away where there isn't a meaningful connection. Besides, if I was 100% satisfied then I wouldn't have any bugbears about the relationship; the distance and lack of seeing each other physically as often as option B are things you work through for the right person, and rewards far greater when you do hit the point where you can move in together.

Posted
Been there with the long distance relationship and it was not 100% satisfying (none of them) I’m the type of person that has to touch and feel in person, not through a screen. So I pick B!
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I'll take the satisfying distant LTR 👍lol it is nice to live with a sub in a true 24/7tpe dynamic, but if I were guaranteed to be 100% satisfied as you say, then I'd take the long distance LTR. For sure.
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B of course, LDRs are destined to die. 

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
Honestly I would go with A. For me the connection with said partner is an absolute must. Plus all the time and *** that goes into visiting once a month just makes it feel more gratifying. Both sexually and emotionally.
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
For me, local LTR is more a necessity than not. I have a chronic neurological condition that can cause me to black out and/or fall. Living alone is increasingly problematic and dangerous. I will not go into any kind of group home - too young for that. One of those “reality sucks” times.
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Something real is all I need an surly lack in that area

Posted
Option A - a true and strong connection is hard to come by, also Option B does not sound like a happy situation to be in.
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