Dom being distant

[Scottishdombull]

Never ignore. It depends on what happened as it may be just the words " I am very disappointed with you" will hurt more than getting physical punished

[Scottishdombull]

I thought it saved..... strange.... ok ..... ignoring for an extended time is a no it could be considrr abandonment. It depends on what has happened. Punishment would be either sent to the naughty step or corner, or some sort of physical punishment however i find the words " I am very disappointed with you" hurts a lot

[Scottishdombull]

Ignore no. However this argument was it part of a vanilla or part of the bdsm relationship.

Vanilla relationships partners do "fight" but both should work togetjer to resolve.

BDSM argument....... this should never happen.

[Si****]

That seems less like a punishment and more like an unwillingness to workout a compromise. In a Dom/Sub relationship of course there's the Dom needing to be in charge but there still has to be compromises

[Deleted Member]

I agree with @sonofthunder777 that’s shitty, I’d swap out that Dom

[Sm****]

My daddy is doing the same thing. The silent treatment as a punishment really triggers me and makes me feel so unwanted or like he has another slave. And it's always when I express how I'm feeling neglected. He first says I'm giving attitude then I hear nothing. So now I'm looking for a sister slave to help me with my attitude because I am new at this maybe I am in the wrong

[do****]

Nope, that is abuse really, get rid of him!

[Lo****]

3 hours ago, Smartmouth said:

My daddy is doing the same thing. The silent treatment as a punishment really triggers me and makes me feel so unwanted or like he has another slave. And it's always when I express how I'm feeling neglected. He first says I'm giving attitude then I hear nothing. So now I'm looking for a sister slave to help me with my attitude because I am new at this maybe I am in the wrong

You’re not in the wrong. He is. If you’re feeling neglected, you have every right to express that. If he was a genuine Dom, he wouldn’t make you feel like that and, if he did by mistake, he would apologise and not do it again. Being a Dom is not an excuse to abuse someone.

[wi****]

No that’s not normal. There were times when I was quite and not wanted to talk but I would let know it had nothing to do with my partner just my own depression. But silent treatment as punishment is not right.

[Ki****]

I can empathise. 🖤
Radio silence is painful… your mind goes into overdrive…Abandonment mindset.

From experience, you’ll either wise up and grow, rationalise if the value outweighs the challenge here in this dynamic and can it be addressed. Or enjoy what you learnt, and find someone that helps you grow without making it toxic.

Don’t loose your self worth beautiful. X

[Deleted Member]

Um new to this lifestyle entirely. My new Daddy does this to me all the time though. I feel abandoned and that he wants to leave me. This happens multiple times a week. I'm constantly walking on eggshells. He tells me I don't care about him at all when I don't remember every rule that he's given me. I want to please him but my memory has always been shit. I've taken to setting morning alarms to recheck the rules list I've made on my phone. Am I just bad at this?? What do I do?

[jo****]

Let me start out with saying that a lack of communication and leaving someone to feel this way is in no way shape or form acceptable. This is a communication situation and if they feel that your feelings and their lack of communication isn't an issue, they are not a Dom. Remember the basics of a Dom- he will strive to be the person you WANT to submit to. He does not demand your submission. He receives your submission. These individuals that demand and control others by force are not Doms. These are little boy sadist who are f**king with your head and nobody deserves that. Your Dom should give you your peace. He should give you your happiness. He shouldn't be causing your unhappiness. I don't care if your memory is shit, he shouldn't be making you feel like you're less than WHO YOU ARE. Please after 21 years I have been all over the US. I have met real Doms. I have met MANY wannabes. A wannabes demeanor is completely different from a real Dom. Many are sadist and don't know the difference. Remember to vet your Dom as much as he vets you...

[Deleted Member]

Have you communicated this feeling with them? This could be a hard limit for you, if it makes you feel so empty. No one wants to feel like that. Now some may need space to calm their mind, so perhaps ask them why they need to ignore you? And if they know this information and continue this form of punishment, well then this is a completely different conversation.

[Deleted Member]

15 hours ago, Deleted profile said:

Um new to this lifestyle entirely. My new Daddy does this to me all the time though. I feel abandoned and that he wants to leave me. This happens multiple times a week. I'm constantly walking on eggshells. He tells me I don't care about him at all when I don't remember every rule that he's given me. I want to please him but my memory has always been shit. I've taken to setting morning alarms to recheck the rules list I've made on my phone. Am I just bad at this?? What do I do?

No you are not “just bad at this”. And having to walk on eggshells does not lead for a healthy dynamic. Just because we as subs enter a D/s dynamic, it doesn’t mean all basic rules go out the window! Walking on eggshells in any relationship is toxic. I think you need to sit down and communicate how you and he feel and as humans, none of us are perfect. In my opinion hun saying you don’t care about him is a form of manipulation to make you feel bad about yourself! If he knows you have a shit memory, then less rules and tasks until they become a habit and build them up slowly, so that it’s routine and habit, less chance of you forgetting and being successful! If he can’t see or do this I’m not sure he’s the right person for you. Or maybe he needs to train himself first on how to treat others. Just because someone labels themselves a Dom, it doesn’t mean they are, or they are good in the role!

[Eb****]

I ignore my sub when she act outside of our contract in public. I refuse to argue in public or engage in public spaces. In private ill ignore her if shes is being unresponsive towards the dynamic to avoid escalation. Communication is improtant, but silence is a part of Communication. Its best to reach out and ask your dom as all we can do is add to the anxiety since we are not sure of your unique dynamic.

[Deleted Member]

Sunday at 09:23 PM, Ebonydom69 said:

I ignore my sub when she act outside of our contract in public. I refuse to argue in public or engage in public spaces. In private ill ignore her if shes is being unresponsive towards the dynamic to avoid escalation. Communication is improtant, but silence is a part of Communication. Its best to reach out and ask your dom as all we can do is add to the anxiety since we are not sure of your unique dynamic.

If that works for your dynamic and your sub; that’s great. Like you say communication is key!