Public settings

[ja****]

So for the most part, I think it’s pretty obvious that bdsm should be done in private. That’s how I have always done it.

I ran across a dominatrix who wanted to meet near a public park at night. She said she simply wanted to a nice sate where we walked in a park and chatted. Seemed super simple and I was confused at first.

She told me to dress very lightly because of the heat and to be open for some fun. When I arrived she led me to a dimly lit area and asked if she could try something. I agreed and she took my arms and restrained them horizontally behind my back.

Once she was done taping my arms together she put a hoodie over me and zipped it up. She stuffed the arms of the hoodie in the side pockets and adjusted it. She then gagged me with tape and put a face mask over it to hide my mouth.

She told me she wanted to talk a sub for a walk while they were tied up but didn’t want to make it weird or embarrass anyone. So by hiding my gag and restraints I would look normal.

And to my surprise it worked. We past multiple people who didn’t pay attention to us or really even look our way. She talked to me about her life and day all casual like, pretending nothing was really going on.

It was a super thrilling experience and I’m curious if this is some sort of advanced exhibitionism? It seemed like a risky version of it or something. I had just never done something like that out in the open before.

[Deleted Member]

No, there's a lot of things that involve BDSM that is done in public all the time without people taking notice. It's been that way for long time, only amateurs and wannabes do stupid things that the public takes notice.

[Deleted Member]

Want to try using collars and leashes in public. Maybe after I move out of the south; these people have 0 imagination!

[Deleted Member]

Or people who don't intend on hiding it to push boundaries example collar and leash in public rope art on the body without being restraining so law is not involved for a public view of it to get a thrill that way. Saying only noobs and wannabes are who you do it publicly is false plenty do it visibly in public with intent to be seen in public some with 20+ years experience in the community. It's not a stupid move 99% of people caught in public intended for it to be seen for added rush so to speak

[Deleted Member]

So here's the thing if this is true and not a fantasy - you went there with no idea of what was going to happen. Consent is not given on the spot like that. You are not in a position to agree to public play when you're in situ, excited, nervous. You are, to put it simply, not in your right mind to decide if you want to do it, there are all sorts of influences being exerted on you, however subtle. All. The. Red. Flags.

[Cheekysub247]

I've done many things in public that have been covered, things that no one has seen.
It just takes a bit of creativity.
I personally feel no one should be exposed to other people's kink so always think and plan ahead.
You never know what the person next to you has got going on under their clothes 😉

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Lady_Char said:

So here's the thing if this is true and not a fantasy - you went there with no idea of what was going to happen. Consent is not given on the spot like that. You are not in a position to agree to public play when you're in situ, excited, nervous. You are, to put it simply, not in your right mind to decide if you want to do it, there are all sorts of influences being exerted on you, however subtle. All. The. Red. Flags.

This. Theres no issues with doing things in public, however it needs to be agreed upon ahead of time.

It sounds like you enjoyed yourself, which is fortunate, however, imagine if you didn't. How uncomfortable would you have been if all of a sudden you were pressured into a situation that you didn't agree to ahead of time and still felt obligated to do.

And while I know that it shouldn't matter male or female....just imagine this situation with a male dom and female sub....without warning, and while meeting for the first time, he wants to restrain her, and not only that, gag her...that's going to be a situation where cops could easily get involved, especially when it comes out that she may have been pressured into that situation.

Short answer to your question: public play is fine if agreed upon.
But the situation mentioned is at the very least concerning

[Je****]

I agree with Char and RS. 

 

This is a bit red flaggy. And my gut did scream where you mentioned she asked if she could "try something" and you simply agreed. To then restrain you how she did.

If i was there with a random male (someone bigger and stronger than me and i have my own ***s) on first meet in a car park thats dimly lit id probably have been screaming at that stage. 

Simply because of the place and situation, and the fact id no idea what was going to happen. I dunno i am rambling. I am genuinely glad you are ok and this turned out positive rather than how i felt it was headed.

[Cheekysub247]

It would only be a red flag to me if they asked me to do something that we had previously discussed as a limit. So being gagged ect on a first meet (even spontaneously) would be ok in public provided its hidden, but on a lead visble would be a no and they would know that as it would have been discussed. Even if something popped up that hadn't been talked about I'm an adult and can give my consent on the spot.
When I meet someone I dont always know what activity will take place. I dont like to plan in detail. Everyone is different x

[Deleted Member]

I explained above why consent on the spot can be tricky.

[Cheekysub247]

@Lady_Charof course, and something everyone needs to think about. 

It can be given on the spot as much as it can be withdrawn on the spot x

[Deleted Member]

If you weren't prepared for it and it wasn't discussed then you were hijacked. I think we'd all be better prepared as subs if we researched our own town and state's laws about being in caught having sex in public. There are still laws on books about public play and you can end up being publicly outed, losing your job, or even being charged as a sex offender.

[Da****]

My sub wears her collar in public all the time and well as a much more discrete day collar everyday, complete with a heart shaped lock.. Every once in a while I will have her kneel in the middle of a store,. It can be done and fun..

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Cheekysub247 said:

@Lady_Charof course, and something everyone needs to think about. 

It can be given on the spot as much as it can be withdrawn on the spot x

As you pointed out above, everyone is different. Personally, I know I am more open to suggestion when I'm in a play setting with a Dom because I am in a more submissive mindset.

In the scenario given, the sub had their hands bound behind them and a gag in their mouth. Revoking consent would have been difficult without causing a lot of noise - and as was pointed out above, you can get into trouble engaging in sexual practises in public places. A fif*** year old hanging out in the park at night counts as a minor. And it would be their parents who decided whether charges were pressed.

[Cheekysub247]

@Lady_Char stopping consent in anything while restrained and gagged is always a tricky one public or not, signals/signs are usually agreed.

I must have missed any convo about a 15yr old so I dont get what that has to do with what we are saying!.

I'm simply saying I personally can give the yes signal to someone in play if its spontaneous or not. That's my choice x

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, Cheekysub247 said:

@Lady_Char stopping consent in anything while restrained and gagged is always a tricky one public or not, signals/signs are usually agreed.

I must have missed any convo about a 15yr old so I dont get what that has to do with what we are saying!.

I'm simply saying I personally can give the yes signal to someone in play if its spontaneous or not. That's my choice x

The point about the minor was connecting the comment regarding the potential legal implications of being caught engaging in public play and what the sub might have to do to revoke consent in the situation they put themselves in.

[Cheekysub247]

@Daddy-n-sub just last week I met a friend and he held my wrists on the table and put his hand over my mouth while we had lunch, it wasn't busy, but if anyone looked it wouldn't have been odd, just playful, same as you having your sub on her knees 😊  

People wear all kinds of 'kink fashion' in public, I'd probably avoid collars that say slut on them though 🤣 but theres lots of nice ones out there x

 

[Deleted Member]

It all sounds like timing, situation, circumstances, and of course, consent, Just be respectful and safe! And enjoy the moment!

[gr****]

That’s brilliant. Love it. Kudos to both of you!

[Da****]

@Cheekysub247... its crazy and half the time they are young girls who have no idea... I love the playful public stuff...

[Cheekysub247]

@Daddy-n-sub in my early 20s the most public thing I done was a mouth stuffed gag with tape over, followed by coat hood up and scarf, I walked up the road with my then play partner.

Other than that it's been stuff going on under clothing that no one would know or subtle things like speech, where I walk next to them ect 

Theres lots of very discreet public things that can be done, I'm not into getting the general public involved on purpose to get a thrill of being caught x

[foxfun2015]

That’s why I brought a forest in South Wales

[de****]

Well, some acts can be done in public but it depends on your comfort. I like getting ch**ked and kissed in a unlock by my dom and when he smacks my a** or rubs my body… of course no children are around. I like how he controls without it feeling like control it’s random

[Deleted Member]

Lucky you! Public play is so much fun, but yes there are many risks involved in it. Honestly it's about both of your comfort levels of undertaking risk.

[fe****]

I love public playing sex while hiking in between 2 boulder or right off the path car sex is my favorite or sitting on a park bench getting a hand job and there's peeing in public places with out getting caught