Picture comments (Exhibitionism?)

[Deleted Member]

There was an interesting discussion in the Lobby this morning about whether you are an exhibitionist if you enjoy putting pictures up for the titilation of others. My perspective (cringeworthy honesty ahead) is that I've always struggled with body confidence but I felt I looked good in the pictures and was looking for validation from others to cement that growing self confidence. But, that I also got a thrill from the idea of putting up something revealing and risque. So is that exhibitionism? I've not had the chance to play IRL yet in front of any kind of audience (at a kink club, not the park lol), so I don't know if I'd enjoy that, though the concept is a turn on.

The conversation moved onto body confidence and several people voiced the fact that they might like to post more pictures on their profile, put themselves out there, as it were, but that they were afraid of comments they might get. It's not possible at the moment to turn off comments on pics (I don't believe?) but I think this would be a good feature to add so that people are able to take steps in revealing more of themselves if they want to, but they can do it in a protected way. Thoughts?

Edited October 14, 2021 by Deleted Member
typo

[Deleted Member]

Bleurgh, won't let me edit right now, but apparently you can stop comments on a picture, there is an option in settings. I think it would be useful to have as an option when you are posting oto make it a little more visible.

[MsDrawers]

You can filter them too. I've seen this on others pics. In honesty you're more likely to get something gross about what someone wants to do to you, or some inane "nice tits" or whatever.

[Deleted Member]

It gives me confidence

[qu****]

I've long had a bad body confidence issue but here and elsewhere people suggested putting naked pics in profile as it could help to make me feel normal in that way, hope that makes sense ☺️

[li****]

Are you saying that you would want a like only feature?

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, littleborough644 said:

Are you saying that you would want a like only feature?

I'm saying I'd like the option to turn off comments for each picture... Which apparently exists already but I've not seen so it could be more visible. Not for me, but others expressed that the idea of unkind comments stopped them posting. I suppose a toggle to hit when posting a pic saying Allow likes only would achieve that, yes.

[Deleted Member]

A bit the same for me , I do expose my self in swimsuit but I don’t wear them in public

[Deleted Member]

I don't take or post risqué photos for anyone else but me. Perhaps when you do it for others - that is exhibitionism?

[slavewife]

i post pics more to show ive been there done it to show i dont talk the talk i walk the walk, only thing is they can only access if over 18 , i hate my body to me looks awful but to others looks amazing so that has given me confidence posting what i have . never be ashamed of your body ive lumps bumps and all but that just makes a foto makes it real. ive like you to many friends here and as much as they say you lok amaxing there will be one that says naa get it off but sod then be great in your body show it if off warts and all never be ashamed you made it so own it

[ge****]

I don't think it's "exhibitionism" per se, even though I can see why people might suggest it is. For me, when I first stepped into the swinging world on another site - it was almost essential to post pics to attract interest, so I took a few tasteful ones (in fact my current avatar here is one of them) and they seemed to go down well, despite my having been reluctant to take any as I am not overly confident, and don't think my body is that great.

Bizarrely I found over time that I enjoyed taking them and finding different angles and ways to show off my body, and as a result of that came to grudgingly accept that, despite my own self-perception, that others actually did like my pics and as a result found me attractive, even though I couldn't, and still don't think so myself.

I do think it's a case of people post for various reasons though, for some it's a confidence boost, for others an ego trip, for yet more a means of validation (for whatever reason), and many more reasons besides.

[Deleted Member]

43 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said:

I don't take or post risqué photos for anyone else but me. Perhaps when you do it for others - that is exhibitionism?

Genuine question - I'm interested, I'm not trying to be smart: why do you post pictures for you? What do you get out of posting them? If you're posting them, you must want others to see?

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, Subsluta said:

i post pics more to show ive been there done it to show i dont talk the talk i walk the walk, only thing is they can only access if over 18 , i hate my body to me looks awful but to others looks amazing so that has given me confidence posting what i have . never be ashamed of your body ive lumps bumps and all but that just makes a foto makes it real. ive like you to many friends here and as much as they say you lok amaxing there will be one that says naa get it off but sod then be great in your body show it if off warts and all never be ashamed you made it so own it

So then it's almost like a picture diary? I was doing that with my rope pics, but I had a crisis of confidence (do ppl think I'm wanky posting these?) the other day and took a lot of them down.

[ge****]

5 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

Genuine question - I'm interested, I'm not trying to be smart: why do you post pictures for you? What do you get out of posting them? If you're posting them, you must want others to see?

I think I can relate to that - for me at least, first and foremost it is about posting pics for me - and is the pleasure of finding a pic of me that I like, that shows me off well etc - almost a kind of self-ego boost - especially as I am someone who usually hates pics of himself, so taking and posting pics for me is a way of addressing that.

Now of course by posting them for others to see there is an element of posting to attract others - but that is secondary to it all - if that makes any kind of sense?

[Deleted Member]

28 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

Genuine question - I'm interested, I'm not trying to be smart: why do you post pictures for you? What do you get out of posting them? If you're posting them, you must want others to see?

There's a few reasons. And I doubt I am the only one who feels this way as I've spoken to others about it. I take a great deal of photos that no-one ever sees. The process of choosing what I'd like to show or hide or challenge myself to show - that's just about me. (I post way more photos on other sites btw). So the photography is for me. I choose a photo which makes me feel good about myself. Makes me feel attractive. Represents me. Posting it online is secondary. What people comment is extraneous. Likes are.. well it's just empty noise. And if the next day I don't enjoy it being there, I take it down. Or move to friends only.
At NO point do I take photos for other people on a site. I may take a photo for a lover as a favour. That's all.

[ge****]

31 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

So then it's almost like a picture diary? I was doing that with my rope pics, but I had a crisis of confidence (do ppl think I'm wanky posting these?) the other day and took a lot of them down.

Thing is - does it matter whether others think it's wanky to post those pics? If you like taking them and enjoy sharing them (regardless of the reason) then what others think shouldn't really matter.

For what it's worth though, I've taken a quick peek at your pics and you obviously have a good eye for them, and take stylish ones and can't imagine why anyone would find it "wanky" that you post them - but like I said, if they do, then, whilst it's their prerogative to do so, it really shouldn't matter

[Deleted Member]

34 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

I think I can relate to that - for me at least, first and foremost it is about posting pics for me - and is the pleasure of finding a pic of me that I like, that shows me off well etc - almost a kind of self-ego boost - especially as I am someone who usually hates pics of himself, so taking and posting pics for me is a way of addressing that.

Now of course by posting them for others to see there is an element of posting to attract others - but that is secondary to it all - if that makes any kind of sense?

It makes sense to me.

[Deleted Member]

I've been tempted to post nudes but a small part of me holds me back.

[ge****]

10 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said:

It makes sense to me.

As does your post to me 🙂

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, kirkhetfield2 said:

I've been tempted to post nudes but a small part of me holds me back.

I imagine most people build their way up to that?

[ge****]

8 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said:

I imagine most people build their way up to that?

In my experience there are a lot that don't give it a second thought or who think nothing of posting pretty graphic pics from the off - and the overwhelming majority are men, who are of the mistaken idea that a pic of their cock hanging out of their trousers over a toilet bowl is somehow appealing 🤢🤮

When I first started taking pics for the swingers site I was on, it wasn't so much "building up" to a fully nude - was comfortable to do so from the off (although always said, and still do, that anything featuring my genitals would need to be tasteful and where they were secondary to the picture, almost something you don't notice at first glance) - it was always more about finding pics I was comfortable to post from the perspective of liking them myself, for myself, and finding the angles that fit that.

[Co****]

Regarding the “is it exhibitionism” aspect of your post. There is no rule saying that you can’t be into a thing unless you are into every possible permutation of that thing. If the idea of other people seeing your pictures turns you on, I would say that qualifies as exhibitionism. If it turns out you don’t like being watched IRL, that doesn’t disqualify you as an exhibitionist, it just means that’s not how prefer to show yourself. It’s all good. We’re allowed to be nuanced.

[Ky****]

for me its difficult to post, what I've always preferred is someone else to take and post ones of me, more risque the better, that really does sound like exhibitionist

[BadDesires]

Interesting thread, great to know it's possible to turn off comments. I've only recently joined the site, still working out where my boundaries are and what I feel comfortable posting. Strange twist to add to the conversation but has anyone felt negative thoughts after receiving a like?
I know I over think things but if I share something it is a nice feeling knowing other people like and enjoy it to. I can see the connection to exhibitionism. But I'm also aware of the flip side due to my own insecurities. Some attention can often feel overwhelming, bring a pressure which can make you feel nervous and want to hide. It can feel great from people you know and trust but strange, creepy or undeserved from unexpected strangers.

[ge****]

2 hours ago, BadDesires said:

Interesting thread, great to know it's possible to turn off comments. I've only recently joined the site, still working out where my boundaries are and what I feel comfortable posting. Strange twist to add to the conversation but has anyone felt negative thoughts after receiving a like?
I know I over think things but if I share something it is a nice feeling knowing other people like and enjoy it to. I can see the connection to exhibitionism. But I'm also aware of the flip side due to my own insecurities. Some attention can often feel overwhelming, bring a pressure which can make you feel nervous and want to hide. It can feel great from people you know and trust but strange, creepy or undeserved from unexpected strangers.

Can't say I've ever felt negative thoughts purely from a like - I have never paid them a great deal of attention to be honest.

One thought though - is it likes from other men that have sparked those thoughts for you? Have seen straight men on other sites get upset by likes from other men, almost taking it as some sort of signal that their pic has attracted same sex interest.

If that's the case here (and I'm not suggesting it is, or that you are necessarily wrong to feel awkward or confused by it) then I'd just try and put it out of your mind and just take it as a compliment that someone liked your picture, nothing more nothing less.