Worst Approaches on FET ever

[Dy****]

Alright folks!

We've all heard the stories of people trying to be pick-up artists on FET.

Whether it's fake doms, fake findoms, fake subs, fake whatever, now is your big chance to wrap quotes around the worst approach you've ever experienced on here.

Post them in the comments, let's see how much we can laugh!

[ey****]

the one that particularly tickles me was the one time I decided to fuck about with a scammer.  I know I should have stopped earlier (though they hadn't yet asked for *** so I couldn't hit report)

And well, they did the usual scammer script about wanting to be my Mistress and explore fantasies.   So I replied that, actually, I'm not looking for a Mistress, I'm looking for a sub (in reality I'm general open to "see what happens") and the scammer didn't have a script for that but clumsily tried to guess through what I might like.   It was comical in it's own way. 

[CopperKnob]

I've no idea why anyone thought that any of these would work. Some funny, some absolutely bizarre. Other than one, they are all first messages. It often feels like I'm talking to my mother who has a really annoying habit of starting a conversation in her head, only verbalising it when she's half way through expecting me to know what she's talking about. Anyway, knock yourself out with this selection
.
I'm most interested in messaging you because of your age
.
I really like your brain
.
Or the two whose opening message was a reaaaallly lengthy erotica
..
Hello.    My name is X.
I think you need a Daddy not an owner. But to have a Daddy you still have to be a good girl and do what your told. 
But it's a lot of love. 
You should actually think about your role and what you expect.
If your a sub who brings a title me elmo.   You might just need a Daddy.      I'm a Daddy and a switch.  I play both roles.
If maybe you'd like to see this side.   Hit me up.   I do cuddles
.
Having not responded to the first message, several months later...

You expect your visitors to read loads and reply, but act as if the same is below you.  I’m no longer interested in you. Please delete my messages and block me
.
Hello Miss  i hope you are well, Would you consider training a guys guy to be a cuckold sissy slut / little diaper wearing sissy / slave? Or let me serve along side you. I’m open to most and willing to learn my place obviously I understand if that’s all not to your liking but something along those lines and also opens to scenarios and ideas / suggestions
.
Hey

I like fantasy *** roleplay (consensual obviously lol). Tied down and ***. ***d sub slave to be used and commanded for my every whim.
For this kind of roleplay scenario the prior settings of rules and boundaries are a must.
But for first time I'd suggest something a little less intense. Maybe maid and master or blackmailed wife made too please.
What is your favourite roleplay scenario?
.
All those ropes around your hips and thighs and pussy are doing something to me
.
And there seems to be a thing for baths...
Do you like water, I like tieing you up clothed and putting you in the bath and watching you squirm. Can you swim?
Or
Tell me you name and address, I want to stalk and kidnap you. Ill tie you to the shower curtain, slit your neck and watch you drown before I...(you don't need to read the rest)

[Go****]

7 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Tell me you name and address, I want to stalk and kidnap you. Ill tie you to the shower curtain,

I had one eerily similar to that on another kink dating site. Not to mention someone, in conversation, (he'd been perfectly 'normal' until this) asking me to to tell him precisely what area I lived so that we could go on a date. Pass. I'll pass thanks.

[CopperKnob]

4 minutes ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said:

I had one eerily similar to that on another kink dating site. Not to mention someone, in conversation, (he'd been perfectly 'normal' until this) asking me to to tell him precisely what area I lived so that we could go on a date. Pass. I'll pass thanks.

I was still really new when I got that one, it actually scared me enough to close my account for a while.

[Go****]

5 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I was still really new when I got that one, it actually scared me enough to close my account for a while.

I'm not surprised and I don't blame you. I wasn't new, but it scared me so much that I'm still really paranoid about where I go on dates (ie not my usual places) and what I tell people. 

[Du****]

I don’t know where to begin with this one:

Him: Hey. Do you use sex tape? Tape your wrists together. Above your head, to the headboard. Watch you struggle and wriggle a bit. Put a blind fold on you. Slowly kiss your legs open and up your thighs. Eat you out, slowly then quickly. You moan and moan and come in my mouth. Your leg quivering. Then I flip you over. Rough doggy and a spank until I come. Pull your blind fold off pull you up and kiss your neck. Good girl. Then I cut you free.
Me: Fuck off mate, that’s an appalling way to introduce yourself

[Vi****]

I've far too many and to be honest they depress me even the thought of retyping them here.

Truth is most have terrified me or enraged me rather then made me laugh sadly!! 

 

Edited August 15, 2022 by Vic1077

[Go****]

14 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I don’t know where to begin with this one:

Him: Hey. Do you use sex tape? Tape your wrists together. Above your head, to the headboard. Watch you struggle and wriggle a bit. Put a blind fold on you. Slowly kiss your legs open and up your thighs. Eat you out, slowly then quickly. You moan and moan and come in my mouth. Your leg quivering. Then I flip you over. Rough doggy and a spank until I come. Pull your blind fold off pull you up and kiss your neck. Good girl. Then I cut you free.
Me: Fuck off mate, that’s an appalling way to introduce yourself

I have questions. Like...only one leg quivering? Why not both, or whole body? And, only one spank?

Lovely response 👏 

[Du****]

7 minutes ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said:

I have questions. Like...only one leg quivering? Why not both, or whole body? And, only one spank?

Lovely response 👏 

I’m also concerned that both my arms are broken seeing as he “flipped me over” while I was still “sex taped” to the headboard. 😳However as I’m dominant leaning, I had much the same reaction to this as when my cat proudly brings me half a pigeon. (Admittedly I’m much more polite to my cat though)

[PJ****]

😂😂 what the actual fuck to all of those!!!? I feel like I should start that whole conversation from before about why you ladies can be guarded in your responses sometimes.. like... see!! Becasue of this shit!

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I don’t know where to begin with this one:

Him: Hey. Do you use sex tape? Tape your wrists together. Above your head, to the headboard. Watch you struggle and wriggle a bit. Put a blind fold on you. Slowly kiss your legs open and up your thighs. Eat you out, slowly then quickly. You moan and moan and come in my mouth. Your leg quivering. Then I flip you over. Rough doggy and a spank until I come. Pull your blind fold off pull you up and kiss your neck. Good girl. Then I cut you free.
Me: Fuck off mate, that’s an appalling way to introduce yourself

It's all over once he's 'finished'? Okaaaay

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, PJ3000 said:

😂😂 what the actual fuck to all of those!!!? I feel like I should start that whole conversation from before about why you ladies can be guarded in your responses sometimes.. like... see!! Becasue of this shit!

Let's not, I don't think I can handle it 😔

[sm****]

That old classic that's been going around for decades from Uber DimDoms "Kneel Biatchhhh"  as their first contact.  Do these dinosaur still do the rounds, i always have a mental picture of them with a comb over, open short and uber Dom chest medalion and sporting Brutt33 aftershave lol

[CopperKnob]

15 minutes ago, smeagol said:

That old classic that's been going around for decades from Uber DimDoms "Kneel Biatchhhh"  as their first contact.  Do these dinosaur still do the rounds, i always have a mental picture of them with a comb over, open short and uber Dom chest medalion and sporting Brutt33 aftershave lol

Sitting in a high winged back leather chair, smoking a pipe and drinking whiskey. Oh, the stereotype 😂

[ta****]

One person on here tried to hit me with that 352-995-1284.....fake number crap. I was like, yo, don't be so quick to do it the free way and then I was like, how else could I get it out there, and then I saw this opportunity..... coupon life, if you was broke and tired of being required to pay for "sex acts" in a "legal" sense, meaning the places where an "entity" introduces you to others looking and not looking..... it's my body, it's a mutual giving from and to anyone I'm with that mirrors my actions or I theirs, meaning the *** exchanged is the desire to do the same thing, finding out of one is like minded is the different currency and value of the meaning of the following act. When words to show care and consideration then wether you said yes you are into that when someone asks or you say hell no are you kidding me, that shit is weird as hell, hahaha ha what's wrong with you..... it still shows you as someone who isn't valuing yourself who "will be in that next act when they ask if someone likes the same and get themselves back to themselves", should of invested in yourself a little better and you won't get lost in trying to keep the actual "bank" filled with dollars that don't make no cents and actually destroys the value of all coin currency and shows the true value of a tree...... tell me where paper is more valuable than copper, as copper at a scrap yard is up to $4 or $5 a lb. And that's recycle price by it new and you are gonna pay upwards of $10-$30 for that lb or 2 of copper depending on its shape (wire/pipping etc.....).....pennies are copper.... 100 pennies weighs way more than a dollar bill yet is equal to just 1 paper dollar showing that the value of copper once transfered over into currency isn't nearly worth its own weight.

[Go****]

I've had too many to list here now, and besides, I'm saving them for my writing 😂

I have had the 'I'm your daddy now, so be a good girl, do as you're told and call me daddy from now on'. That earned a fuck you response as well 🙄

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, tangerine168 said:

One person on here tried to hit me with that 352-995-1284.....fake number crap. I was like, yo, don't be so quick to do it the free way and then I was like, how else could I get it out there, and then I saw this opportunity..... coupon life, if you was broke and tired of being required to pay for "sex acts" in a "legal" sense, meaning the places where an "entity" introduces you to others looking and not looking..... it's my body, it's a mutual giving from and to anyone I'm with that mirrors my actions or I theirs, meaning the *** exchanged is the desire to do the same thing, finding out of one is like minded is the different currency and value of the meaning of the following act. When words to show care and consideration then wether you said yes you are into that when someone asks or you say hell no are you kidding me, that shit is weird as hell, hahaha ha what's wrong with you..... it still shows you as someone who isn't valuing yourself who "will be in that next act when they ask if someone likes the same and get themselves back to themselves", should of invested in yourself a little better and you won't get lost in trying to keep the actual "bank" filled with dollars that don't make no cents and actually destroys the value of all coin currency and shows the true value of a tree...... tell me where paper is more valuable than copper, as copper at a scrap yard is up to $4 or $5 a lb. And that's recycle price by it new and you are gonna pay upwards of $10-$30 for that lb or 2 of copper depending on its shape (wire/pipping etc.....).....pennies are copper.... 100 pennies weighs way more than a dollar bill yet is equal to just 1 paper dollar showing that the value of copper once transfered over into currency isn't nearly worth its own weight.

Huh! I'm totally worth $10 a lb and I'm definitely not recyclable 😂

[PJ****]

2 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Let's not, I don't think I can handle it 😔

😂😂 Wimp 😜 i promise not to mention food and be serious!! 😶
Well...maybe....ok fine maybe we should just leave that be 😂

[CopperKnob]

8 minutes ago, PJ3000 said:

😂😂 Wimp 😜 i promise not to mention food and be serious!! 😶
Well...maybe....ok fine maybe we should just leave that be 😂

I'm impressed, two comments and you've only suggested food, rather than mention food explicitly 😂

[PJ****]

19 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I'm impressed, two comments and you've only suggested food, rather than mention food explicitly 😂

I know right! There's hope for me yet! 😂..... 🥴.... 🤐..... 🥴 pickles!!!!!!😂😂😂 fuckit

[sm****]

and who can ever forget those early days of Internet chatup lines of "A/S/L" and if you didn't answer they got alllllll shirty n stuff lol

[CopperKnob]

4 hours ago, PJ3000 said:

I know right! There's hope for me yet! 😂..... 🥴.... 🤐..... 🥴 pickles!!!!!!😂😂😂 fuckit

Pickles????🤢🤢

[CopperKnob]

4 hours ago, smeagol said:

and who can ever forget those early days of Internet chatup lines of "A/S/L" and if you didn't answer they got alllllll shirty n stuff lol

They still do. Good to know it's on all platforms and we're maintaining the status quo decades on 😂

[sm****]

2 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

They still do. Good to know it's on all platforms and we're maintaining the status quo decades on 😂

I always pretend i have late onset alzheimer's, foeget my age, do they have my door keys and mobile phone, if they have they can order me a taxi home, wherever that is.....they usually don't reply after that :)....did i say pretend.....anyone got my door keys?