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Why is it people will match with me or view me but don’t ever want to chat

bo****

By bo****
in Kink Academy

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bo****

bo****

Posted
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I find this to be annoying for someone to match or view me and not even say a hello or comment on me at all I’m not seeking attention in anyway but kinda bugs me because I’d like to chat with everyone and get to know people and make connections but why doesn’t anybody want to reciprocate that
ey****

ey****

Posted

so the matches are basically who it thinks you would like, not someone who has 'matched' with you.  Though I believe the other person gets the same notification

and if someone views you and doesn't message then it could be either they don't know what to say or...

perhaps they read your profile through curiosity of what you're about

or, read your profile and then decided they weren't interested

like, say, you are very much into boot fetish so if they looked and weren't into boots then there's no reason for them to message you. 

Deleted Member

Posted
I think the matches are a systematic match not a personal. Probably that is why

Deleted Member

Posted
The matches from the BDSM test aren't always accurate, imo, as the test isn't accurate enough.

And not all profile views are actually people viewing your profile, they could of just been on quick kink as that seems to register as a profile view.
Mi****

Mi****

Posted
Yes, me to I have message several people here and no response, no attention is needed, I pay myself attention, just looking for friends, I'm new here and Nothing there's people here that have same fetish as me and nothing

Deleted Member

Posted
I personally never look at the matches because it's automated. I sometimes look at who looked at me but I don't necessarily want to chat to every person. I chat to a few people but often just read the forums . Everyone has their own reasons for being on here. If you want it chat then it would be worth sending the first message to anyone who you are interested in and see how it goes...
ph****

ph****

Posted
Weather ya match or not. Even if you send someone a message you rarely will get a reply. Most these profiles are fake the others are girls just wanting attention then there are a few that actually carry on a conversation even if your not what they are looking for. Common courtesy is not what it used to be.
Su****

Su****

Posted
Same for me.. honestly, I think a lot of people are into this scene but are timid to actually make it a reality.. And just because the system matches you with people based on your likes and dislikes, dosent mean that they are into exactly what you are. I have had many "matches", but no text behind it.

Deleted Member

Posted
Get used to to it bro. This site is trash. You know when you're on a bad site when all the women with names goddess and Queen and they are over 300 pound ye good luck with that love your hearts dying from the inside
Th****

Th****

Posted
Hi there I have found nobody wants to talk and see if they have something in common . I want to see if there is a match so we can hook up and find out weather you have fun or not ???? The Rock

Deleted Member

Posted

I have been here for 3 years now and all in all I've had 1 hookup and about 4 meaningful conversations. Most days I get notifications that someone has checked me out with over a 1000 people in total having looked at my profile and I have messaged hundreds of people wanting to get to know them. Unfortunately being here has ***d me to realise just how undesirable I am in an online world, I'm not a handsome man and I find it difficult to interact with people I know absolutely nothing about but nobody will give me the time of day to get to know them and even when they do I just the most basic replies that are almost impossible to reply to, it's a catch-22 that seems impossible to get out of. You gotta remember that you're 1 out of a thousand people that someone has to choose from, that's a lot of options and Unfortunately there's just nothing you can do about it. I felt the same way 2 years ago, I was wondering why I was getting extremely little interaction when I'd come here to learn and meet likeminded people who I thought would be more accepting and open to conversation due to being generally more open minded but what I found out was that this is just the same if not worse than most other places online in that a lot of vanilla folk come here ignoring the bdsm part of the site and just use it like tinder so not only have I got all the better options for dating to compete with but I've also got the sea of better options for hookups to compete with that arent even really into any kind of bdsm or fetish, they just thknk they are because they "f**k em rough like the guys in videos". Alas I remain somewhat naively hopeful that there's somebody just a click away but I feel there's a time to leave coming for me, it's getting harder and harder to check back most days only to find I've been outright ignored another day, there's a 'no thanks' button for a reason but everyone seems so intent on just ignoring me like I'm not even worth the time it takes to click 2 buttons. All in all in my experience unless you're looking like Brad Pitt, funny like a comedian and able to pull conversation literally out of your ass thats worthy of an oscar then it's not looking particularly hopeful, simply trying to rely on treating people like humans and attempting a conversation isn't enough, at least for me it's not.

no****

no****

Posted

Gotcha same problem here this site is shit,you set your filters and still get 'matches', 'likes',crushes" from people out of categories if they would actually let thru people you are looking for things might be easier then swimming thru the sea of scammers on here f**k you have fet can't wait for subscription to end .....

Se****

Se****

Posted
You have to look at someone's profile to see their "role". I am sub and in general do not msg other subs, however because of how they make me look at their bio to see that "role", I have viewed others with no contact after.
an****

an****

Posted
If anyone actually has luck on here I’d love to know. Sometimes I get responses, but everyone is always too scared to meet all of a sudden lol. I’d recommend a different app in general
Ch****

Ch****

Posted
I completely ignore the test, it was all wrong on me. I dont even look to see the matches.
I look at profiles and if the 'looking for/about' part isnt on the same wavelength then i dont message. If someone messages me and clearly not read one word then i generally dont reply much now as not worth the *** back when saying 'no thank you'

Deleted Member

Posted
Similar experiences here, I had one lie recently said they were genuine day later they messaged me about saying among the lines “well if you wanna see me you gotta buy a picture or a video” I ended the conversation. Genuine folks are far and between. Sorry, I’m not desperate enough to buy whatever.

Deleted Member

Posted
“Matches” are the app telling you that thwy have found a match based on your test results, neither party actively do anything to match, however if someone appears in the matches section as a “crush” then you have both “spanked” each other and that is an active match.
BruiseWayne

BruiseWayne

Posted

Eyem laid it all out pretty completely, but yeah this happens to everybody.

 

If you're talking about the 'spank' feature where you spank to get their attention and they spank back ( or not ) then yeah that happens too.

 

On a broader note, ultimately who knows why someone shows initial interest and then does a complete 180, there can be an infinite number of reasons, but it's very very common OL so kinky or not you just have to kind of roll with it unfortunately. Now that the world has opened up a whole lot more, allowing us all to be a bit more selective is a double edged sword. It works for you AND against you at the same time.

 

 

ey****

ey****

Posted

what I don't get is that if you're not getting conversation, dates, interactions, expected results, so on - then it's one of two reasons

1) Either, as suggested - the site is terrible and no one is "real" or you need to be handsome, rich, whatever to get anywhere

in which case why are you wasting time? go do something fun?

2) your approach/profile/expectations are not working

in which case, it's something to work on improving on yourself, and you're otherwise wasting time by not kinda working on this.  

Deleted Member

Posted
This happens to me all the time on any app u use 😬😕

Deleted Member

Posted
(edited)

Think a lot of people are over looking the fact finding someone within bdsm/fetish world that suits your specific needs, kinks, fantasies, appearance, location, what you are looking for, etc etc, makes finding someone far far harder than it is finding someone vanilla suitable on normal dating apps & just because you join a site like this, that caters for bdsm/fetish doesn't automatically make your chances of finding someone infinitly easier, because it doesn't, as the parameters for finding someone is a very long list of boxes you have to tick to even make it to the stage of having a conversation with someone, then you have to hit it off on a personal level, to have that connection to advance to even considering meeting but even then, depending on what youre looking for, you may need to have a lot of shared interests outside of fetish/bdsm too - you could message 100 people here today & find not one who feels you meet all the parameters & criteria of what they are looking for, so of course they are going to look at your profile, they have to, to see if you are remotely suited but a profile view means nothing, I don't really even take much notice of the views, as I know a) someone viewing me doesn't mean they're interested in me, they were just curious & browsing through profiles & b) a lot of the views I get I know are 'false' views from things like quick kink. I also know it can take years to find the right partner in this world & it's just something we have to live with, especially if our main source of finding someone is just an app - you also have to remeber not everyone on here is actually looking to meet someone, there's lots on here that are here just for the community & information the site provides, so whilst some e may match with you, based on the bdsm test, it doesn't actually mean they are looking for someone. 

Edited by Deleted Member
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