How to be a good Mistress?

[GirlyGamer]

Hi y’all.

So I’m not “new to bdsm” but I do need a bit of help. I’m a switch and I most tend towards submissive, so I’m relatively inexperienced when it comes to dominating. I have been an online Mistress before, so I’m not that inexperienced, and I do like it, I’m just nervous.

My girlfriend is very (very) submissive and wants me to be her Mistress. I like this idea but I’ve only ever been a mean mistress because I am into sadomasochism. My girlfriend is not into any of that.

(Tl;dr) Does anyone have any advice for being a nice and caring Mistress to my little?

[IfYouDontKnow]

Tbh I think the best advice to give you is just treat them as a child that you spank

[DominaJeniveve]

Listen and respect keeps our home happy. Proper discipline and not being too soft goes a long way. Guve your sub ssfe space to be and dont rush. Good luck

[ey****]

as with may situations - if there's a mismatch in interests it might generate it's own problems.  But, still. 

What I'm also about to say is very catch all and, ultimately, not necessarily applicable - this is something you will need to work through with your partner.

But, first up.

Little's tend to want to be cared for.  Kinda mothered, a lot of what they want might also depend on what AGE of little they are, so someone who is younger may want bottles, toys, cribs, nappies, etc. someone a bit older might be a bit brattier 

If they're a bit brattier than it's on you to instil discipline and that would be parental discipline - smacked bottom, corner time, withdrawal of privileges, bed without supper, naughty step, so on.  Depending on their interests/age they may wish for a cane relative for that age group.

Littles may want a sense of structure - being told when bed time is, been told to eat what they're given, so forth.

But remember, there should always be treats, cuddles, rewards, so on for good behaviour.

Orrrrrrrr

She may want absolutely none of the above.  As you can see there'll be a lot to talk through. 

[DominaJeniveve]

I haven't come across this kind of nonsense in lifetime.  My sub is EQUAL. Where do you mention communication, honesty or respect? Grateful Im no nube pretending I know it all. Young equals babying? Older is a brat? In what world? Generalisations from one paradigm limited by one persons limited experience. Further discussion needed. My sub has now lived and served in my home over a year. Hes no child, your advice is useless to anyone with hands on experience. Posts like this scare me, how do they affect a brand new sub starting out? No wonder my inbox is full if this is where their advice comes from

 Respect everyone. Judge no one. Research .:)

Great weekend all.

[ey****]

in due respect.

The OP mentioned her sub was a little.

Which to me suggested more of a Mommy-Domme relationship.

Which would be wildly different to other forms of D/s relationships.

And yes - communication, honesty and respect is as important on any variation.

You'll note I concluded that she may want none of what I'd suggested and there'd be a lot to talk through.

[3S****]

I'm a mummy dominant. I'm being quie 'soft' on my baby at the minute, doing all the caring stuff primarily and listening to what sort of things he wants as punishments and then from these chats i'm working out what actually will be a punishment or enjoyable for him. He wants me to have more control but i'm not letting him push me too fast too soon.

He's open to any ideas i've had so far also so i can do what i want with him pretty much, this helps a lot.

[Deleted Member]

On 10/25/2018 at 10:43 PM, DominaJeniveve said:

I haven't come across this kind of nonsense in lifetime.  My sub is EQUAL. Where do you mention communication, honesty or respect? Grateful Im no nube pretending I know it all. Young equals babying? Older is a brat? In what world? Generalisations from one paradigm limited by one persons limited experience. Further discussion needed. My sub has now lived and served in my home over a year. Hes no child, your advice is useless to anyone with hands on experience. Posts like this scare me, how do they affect a brand new sub starting out? No wonder my inbox is full if this is where their advice comes from

 Respect everyone. Judge no one. Research .:)

Great weekend all.

You obviously have no idea what a little is or read his comment properly. His advice was generally spot on. I can say this because I am a little and live it 24/7. I suggest you educate yourself before you go attacking other members.

 

That all said, eyemblacksheep is generally very right, but like he said further down, your little could be quite different and not like any of those things.

I'm a little. I wear diapers, I like being coddled but I'm also quite bratty when I want to be and love being put in my place and knowing who's boss. It's important to be very caring, parental almost, but also firm. How firm will depend on your little. It varies quite largely. Some prefer quite mild guidance and discipline while others like myself are quite heavily masochists and degradees. 

My daddy played it very similarly to 3somequeen. He worked up to things very slowly. It's not something that I would normally do but it gave me a great sense of trust in him and as a little you really need that sense of ultimately being totally safe and loved. It'll really help your little to fully immerse themselves into little space too.