Need advice

[Bw****]

I’m the type of person who loves to be sexual but have an extreme fear of being vulnerable. I don’t know what to do to get over it. Any advice?

[Deleted Member]

Why are you afraid?

[BI****]

just take it slow and bild the relationship online first

[Deleted Member]

You don’t have to be vulnerable to be sexual. You can get the same satisfaction without having to give up your control. I would suggest being in charge, telling people what you want. Then it’s a service not a vulnerability

[uk****]

Build trust with the person you want to be with, and slowly build on that!! I would suggest not being submissive and focus on being the Dominant one in the dynamic!! If you want to be submissive, find a switch who is willing to work with you and build from there. No matter what you do, make sure it’s on your terms and at a pace that suits you, don’t be pressured. I hope this helps

[LU****]

Start with a trusted friend or boyfriend and try to dive in deeper in your sexuality. There you can find endless joy

[Br****]

I feel this in my soul. It's difficult. I guess when you meet someone who is able to read you and sense how you're feeling it becomes easier and safer to be vulnerable with that person. It can take months though. Don't rush it. You will know when you find the partner that you don't fear it with.

[la****]

Even as dominant and blunt as I am, I also have fear. I fear putting myself out there to be rejected.

[ge****]

If you're afraid of being vulnerable then I guess it comes down to understanding what specifically makes you feel vulnerable and either identifying why it does and working on it from that angle, or avoiding those activities if they are specific rather than generally you feel vulnerable.
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Is very difficult to give specific advice though without first understanding in more detail.

[Bomac]

I don't have any advice because I suffer from the same thing so thank you for asking this! Also for letting me know I'm not alone

[Je****]

Sorry.. i dont get the correlation..?
How does being sexual equal vulnerable?
Whats your train of thought on this?

[Deleted Member]

The easiest thing I can suggest is finding that one person you trust with everything. Fear of being vulnerable is fear of being judged or like at differently cause you aren't like everyone else. If you can find that one person that you can put your full trust in, you can start experimenting more with being openly sexual

[Dr****]

What you can do, is like a scene, set negotiations.

Negotiate what you feel comfortable with, without feeling vulnerable.
For Example... if something makes you feel vulnerable, take it off the table.
Some people feel kissing invites to much intimacy, so they won't do that.
Find what makes you vulnerable, set limits to it. Think of it like a FwB or NSA, there are little too no emotional attachment, and when there is, that dynamic no longer exists because strings are being attached.

Setting boundaries, can help you with that.

You can be sexual without being vulnerable. You just have to Negotiate what you expect from other person.
Communication is the key

[Fl****]

You want to start things slowly decide on what you are comfortable doing first roll with that and slowly open up after you have began to trust yourself your body and your partner

[Mi****]

I would suggest that you think about how close you would prefer to be to someone before you engage in sex/kink (which could be someone you've known for months/years, or even a committed relationship). Then think about how long it would take to get to that level of trust with a potential partner (either casual or committed) and take that time to get to know people, you have every right to feel safe and so there's no problem with wanting to take as much time as you need! 😄 Just be up front about that on your profile, It can be tough if you have a high sex drive but it's worth it to find someone who's right for you 😁💙

[La****]

Being vulnerable in what way?
Being naked, discussing your wants and needs, being hurt emotionally or physically?
Vulnerability can be a positive depending on how you take control of it and who you’re with x

[Fa****]

Ultimately, true intimacy is achieved when you can be completely vulnerable with someone yet trusting that person and feeling completely safe. This takes time and commitment from both parties and it takes time individually to be picky and only surrender that vulnerability to someone worthy. We all want this and regardless of how sexual you want to be, there is no shortcut to building that with someone. Some couples find it easier than others. Make sure you’re aware of what makes you feel safe and hold out for it. But also take baby steps when it comes to revealing layers of vulnerability. Build communication and understanding of each other’s needs. But also make sure you’re willing to walk away from that relationship if you realize incompatibility beyond reasonable compromise. Don’t try to force something that isn’t compatible. Hold out for the right person that will put in the work to make you feel safe while being vulnerable. You deserve that.

[yo****]

If you don't feel it don't do it. There are enough people in the world you'll most certainly groove w/some more than others and that's a wonderful thing. Remember we all have vulnerable moments. Most importantly have fun ,be safe and don't get stuck in your ways or in your head.

[roped_kitten]

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable can be quite freeing, especially after you've done it a few times in a few different guises and nothing terrible happened. People will genuinely surprise you, and you will surprise yourself if you give yourself the chance.
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I have to say though there are both positive and negative reinforcements. It's unrealistic to suggest you'll never be let down. It's how you deal with it that counts. This weekend my date cancelled on me and I'm pretty sure has ghosted me after weeks of building what seemed like a drool-worthy connection. It hurts but it was worth the risk. That date didn't pan out but the next might. I learned during our interactions, and after, and am a bit stronger for it.

[li****]

I thought being physically naked was the most vulnerable I could be, until I realized sharing my SELF is so much more than my body. I found that establishing a safe place for my body, one respectful of my limits and experience built a foundation to share more about me without fear of judgement. Even then I had to baby step my way into sharing pieces of my history, personality and dreams to feel safe in being vulnerable. Being physical doesn’t have to mean sex either. Your boundaries are important whether you’re a Dom or a sub. I’m here to chat if you want.

[Ch****]

Just take it slowly and listen to yourself.

[Jo****]

Maybe you are demisexual, some people are very sexual but need emotional connection to trust and be present. Just a maybe!

[BadDesires]

Don't worry it's ok to be nervous, for some this can add to the thrill of the experience.

You should probably start by having a clear idea about the sexual experience you are looking for. Keep it simple to begin with.
You should also identify what makes you feel vulnerable.

Knowing these will allow you to discuss them with your partner so you can both build a level of trust.
Find out what they want and what makes them vulnerable. You don't have to explore there ideas straight away if they make you feel uncomfortable, just be clear your not ready and establish clear boundaries.

Are there things that will help you feel safer?

Staying clothed, agreeing touch points, simple hugs and kisses.

Do you have any friends you can trust? Will they help you explore, find what it is you are looking for and help you build your confidence? This can be through discussion or via a physical connection. Maybe they can be on hand to check you are safe if you are meeting a stranger.

Would it help if your partner was more vulnerable?

Blindfolded, restrained.

Hopefully some of these suggestions help you find what you're after.

[Deleted Member]

~Seeking out a psychologist to find out what parts of the experience make you feel vulnerable and/or are afraid of. Working through that side of things could be somewhat empowering.
~If thats not an option for you, there’s always taking baby steps in those areas with someone that makes you feel safe.
~Theres also the option of paid services (escorts and the like). Depending on the type of vulnerability, keeping it professional and having the option to never deal with them again might relieve some anxiety.

[jo****]

Being vulnerable is terrifying, especially if you've been hurt in the past. But to keep yourself closed off from the chance of having what you want or deserve in your life is more painful than feeling vulnerable. Were only here once, try to spend as much of it as you can being happy