Patience is your friend!

[BigPolly]

A year ago today a message arrived in my inbox. I had been on the site since it had started up but had recently come back after a break away. 

I had not long become single so wasn’t looking for anyone, in fact I had decided that relationships weren’t for me full stop! I was only interested in play dates. That coupled with the fact that I had just been ghosted by someone on the site & also received a barrage of general crap messages & dick pics from random folk, it was so lovely to just see a beautiful, well written complimentary message, simply telling me how lovely I looked, someone who had actually genuinely read my profile & written a message like he wasn’t expecting a reply?! It was such a breath of fresh air….so I did reply. 

Our messages continued. They were so normal but filled with so much laughter & as the weeks went by & life got in the way, it felt like a meet was never going to happen. We didn’t get round to meeting until October & despite meeting up a couple of times to play (& it was the most mind blowing play ever), we were both incredibly insistent that neither of us wanted a relationship…yet we eventually slipped into the most incredible connected bond together & never looked back. 

I still thank him regularly for sending me that message as it turned my world upside down in the most amazing way, proving to me that it wasn’t that I didn’t want a relationship, I just hadn’t found the right person (or Dom)

Finding someone who fits, has the same kinks & who you connect with feels impossible sometimes but ‘slowly slowly catchy monkey’ really is the way forward on this site! People come on here & after a few weeks moan that they can’t find anyone. The BDSM journey is so precious it takes a lot of care, attention & tweaking to get it right. I’d played with a few people as a sub & always just left after play, that was an easy option & definitely wasn’t ever a connection but if it’s genuine connection you’re looking for then ‘patience’ is your friend! Don’t give up as what you’re looking for is out there but not necessarily this week 😊

Edited August 26, 2022 by BigPolly

[Sl****]

Hmmm interesting stuff! I’ve been here for around 2 years ish but I don’t think what I’m looking for exists in this app at least. Maybe somewhere else. I super enjoy interacting with others though! So there’s that haha 😆

[Ar****]

What a beautiful post to read just before bed, thank you. I'm really happy you found your person 😊

[BigPolly]

2 hours ago, jak1401 said:

Hmmm interesting stuff! I’ve been here for around 2 years ish but I don’t think what I’m looking for exists in this app at least. Maybe somewhere else. I super enjoy interacting with others though! So there’s that haha 😆

I’ve been on here since the start which is around 5yrs, I’ve made some great connections with people but to be fair I’ve never used the site to look for anyone, it’s just been a different way of being in the community. Meeting my partner/Dom was purely accidental as I wasn’t interested in anyone. 

It also says a lot about the way people message others, many of us go on (especially females) about that ‘first message’ being important rather than just a ‘Hi’ & it’s true.

What you’re looking for does exist you just

havent found eachother yet 😊

[BigPolly]

2 hours ago, Aranhis said:

What a beautiful post to read just before bed, thank you. I'm really happy you found your person 😊

Thank you 😊 This site has so much negativity & yet I’ve seen so many happy stories come out from it over the years

[ge****]

Agree with Aranhis, a lovely post to read and a great way to view the site - aligns with my own, not only about this site, but any similar.
.
Meeting someone (whether that be casually or for something more) is never my "aim" more a very pleasant bonus if/when it does happen.
.
I don't go out of my way to make connections either, not by sending messages to all and sundry anyway, and find that when they develop naturally off the back of forum posts or similar that the messages flow so much easier and friendships and more form.

[sm****]

I was taught many years ago when i was first starting out in the scene "never underestimate a good friendship" they can lead on to meeting that right person.

It's hard for some as they are eager to have a relationship no matter what but patience will prove more fruitful and genuine in the long run.

It's nice to read the OP post there, something most people should read when starting off on the road to kink.

[Vi****]

That was beautiful to read Polly thank you x

[DarkArts1066]

Polly, I am so glad that you decided to take the time to write. I don’t want to add anything, merely echo your sentiments. So many people want a quick fix, an itch scratched, or just to dive face first into a new experience, without much actual forethought… and your experience is practically a blueprint guide for “How to have the best experience ever, with another human being”
You made me smile, and rededicate by belief in the Human Condition.
Have a lovely weekend.

[BigPolly]

3 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Meeting someone (whether that be  casually or for something more) is never my "aim" more a very pleasant bonus if/when it does happen.
.

I know I said to you yesterday how I hate people 😂 but it really was my aim just to keep things casual with anyone I met. It was my way of still keeping control after stepping over from being a Domme into subservience, I didn’t think anyone would be able to change my mindset. 

[BigPolly]

2 hours ago, smeagol said:

I was taught many years ago when i was first starting out in the scene "never underestimate a good friendship" they can lead on to meeting that right person.

It's hard for some as they are eager to have a relationship no matter what but patience will prove more fruitful and genuine in the long run.

It's nice to read the OP post there, something most people should read when starting off on the road to kink.

This is so true. Back before the internet we relied on friendships within the BDSM world to help us find new fet clubs, parties etc. Also it was a friendship that led me to becoming a Dommes apprentice. 
People look for ‘Experienced Dom’s/Dommes’ but experience also comes from the knowledge of others & not necessarily with people we play with.

I guess I was different as I had always kept play & relationships very separate but this is the first time I’ve ever allowed the 2 to merge & it’s worked. 
Thank you 😊 

[BigPolly]

2 hours ago, DarkArts1066 said:

Polly, I am so glad that you decided to take the time to write. I don’t want to add anything, merely echo your sentiments. So many people want a quick fix, an itch scratched, or just to dive face first into a new experience, without much actual forethought… and your experience is practically a blueprint guide for “How to have the best experience ever, with another human being”
You made me smile, and rededicate by belief in the Human Condition.
Have a lovely weekend.

Thank you 😊 I appreciate how lucky I am to find someone so amazing & someone who fits in with my kinks, that’s not easy to find at all especially when you’ve been playing for so many years or when you want to step beyond what others desire. 
Also being in a relationship has meant those dark desires can be pushed beyond limits without any fears. That is also something I had never considered before & means the door can be left open for anything.

I think because we went into this so openly & with no commitments, it actually helped us to connect better as we didn’t put any pressure on ourselves or eachother.

Thank you, you too 🌞 

[ey****]

4 hours ago, smeagol said:

I was taught many years ago when i was first starting out in the scene "never underestimate a good friendship" they can lead on to meeting that right person.

It's hard for some as they are eager to have a relationship no matter what but patience will prove more fruitful and genuine in the long run.

It's nice to read the OP post there, something most people should read when starting off on the road to kink.

I think even these days this is valuable

friendship opens new doors - cos even if you and them will only ever be friends - there very well could be someone they meet or something they come across, or whatever which is a good fit to recommend for you 

[ey****]

it's really nice to have some positive stories

and I agree.  Patience is one of the best assets for anyone into kink.  

[gh****]

this is brilliant and beautiful story. 😊

[BigPolly]

On 8/27/2022 at 2:31 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

it's really nice to have some positive stories

and I agree.  Patience is one of the best assets for anyone into kink.  

I’ve lost count the amount of times ‘as elders’ 😂 we’ve told people on here that they just need to be patient. As a woman it’s always lovely to be able to say “I told you so!” 😂😂

[BigPolly]

On 8/27/2022 at 2:34 PM, ghechieDom said:

this is brilliant and beautiful story. 😊

Thank you 😊