Virginity...

[Deleted Member]

I'm 24 years old and completely inexperienced (and amazingly: I haven't even had my first kiss yet) Despite that, I've always been intensely attracted to the BDSM universe. I always knew instinctively, and now I know in a conscious way, that I was born a submissive. I know what I want. My virginity is a personal choice, not for religious reasons or any other conventions. I chose to keep myself because I want to belong to just one man. But bdsm makes everything more complex because it's very difficult to find a dominator for me. Also, I'm afraid of being deceived. I desperately yearn to belong body and soul to one man. Call me old-fashioned, silly, but I'm a submissive virgin and also a hopeless romantic. I would like to know the perceptions of the people here. What do you think of someone like me? Would dominant men be happy to meet someone as inexperienced as I am, or would I be a disappointment?

[ge****]

Firstly I'll suggest you're incredibly brave and to brace yourself for the countless offers both on thread and in your inbox offering to "deflower" you which inevitably will follow.
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Pay them no heed, but they *will* appear.
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You're neither old-fashioned, nor silly either - in fact it sounds like you know exactly what you want and that's actually admirable, but you'll need to stick to your principles too.
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It's of course possible to find what you're looking for, and there will be those for whom your inexperience will be seen as a good thing, and not only for negative reasons - BUT you need to keep your guard up against those out to deceive and worse still *** your inexperience and be able to tell them apart from those genuinely looking for the same as you.
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Be upfront about what you're looking for, and don't compromise your principles for anyone, make them wait before giving yourself, those genuine in their intentions will understand and give you that time, others will try and persuade you differently.
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Start slow and insist on "dates" rather than diving straight into playing - wait until you're ready to take next steps, rather than be pushed into it.
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There are no guarantees of course, and hopeless romantic notions aside, with anyone there is no guarantee they will be "the one" but guarding yourself and taking your time will help.

[DeviantInside]

The things about dominants, and people in the kink world generally, is that there is no hard and fast rules. There are those who prefer to be with someone experienced, and there are those who love teaching/showing things to someone completely new to it. And everything in between. So yes there will be people interested in you.

The only advice I’d give, and you may not need it anyway as you’ve been happy to wait so far anyway, is to take your time. There’s no rush. Talk, read and learn as much as you can. Get to understand red flags and potentially predatory indicators, but also get to understand green flags of behaviour for potentially positive options. You want someone who wants to be with you long term not just your virginity as a trophy. Anyone who is truly interested will understand why you want to be careful and will respect that and not try to rush you.

I would also say though that if you’re holding out for an idealised perfect soul mate that probably doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t mean that the right person for you isn’t out there. So be open to that your best match doesn’t require absolute perfection.

[Deleted Member]

Message me- I am a new sub too and might be able to offer some off thread guidance and resources. Welcome to the BDSM world. It is a crazy ride!!

[GEORDIEBEAR22]

Even though I'm a Guy I can definitely relate to this, I only lost my virginity earlier this year but BDSM/kink to me is so attractive because of its foundations on trust, safety, communication and well being, at base level it all seems about extremity and pushing limits but having finally experienced being just dominated and not actually having it involve any sex really has opened my eyes. Hopefully the right Dom for you will come and you'll work together on what you're trying to achieve, I think your decision is very brave and your awesome for standing by what you want

[Mainecpl]

You seem like such a beautiful person and I believe you are I’ll find that one dom who truly deserves you. It won’t be easy, watch out for scumbags, but he will be a very lucky man.

[Convocing]

Welcome to the community! Like many have said just take as long as you need to find that right dom. Talk EVERYTHING out. While experience can heighten some aspects of a relationship the same can be said about inexperience. I've found my best relationships have been when both parties are learning and growing together.

[Lord_Talion]

Most likely you'll be disappointed by all the ppl that don't care about your needs and only want to use you. Granted there are many ppl that are worth knowing this lifestyle is still filled with ubber-doms

[Pa****]

You do you. He will co e but only if he deserves you. Stick to your ethics 100% and beware of players.

[Do****]

Golden

[La****]

There is a man out there looking for you too

That man is the right amount of vanilla, romantic, old fashioned and a gentleman to match you

He's mind will be twisted enough to give you what you need but he'll know better and not take you to the deep end

He will appreciate all you do
He will cherish everything you are

It will demand patience
You will have to continue to exercise the strength you have had for so long
But you will find him
And it will all be worth it

I wish you all the best
Be safe

[CopperKnob]

I dread to think of all the messages you'll have received following this post, I'd ignore them
Everyone has their own penguin. It just takes time to find them. Stick to your morals, it'll happen in time

[LustAndLogic]

It's totally OK to have your ideals and convictions and to stick to it. I don't think that it is necessarily more difficult to find the right partner in the BDSM universe than it would be in the vanilla world. It is OK to be inexperienced, we all were at a certain moment in time! That being said, it is unfortunately a fact of life that no one is safe from being deceived and disappointed, no matter if you are vanilla, sub or dominant, man or woman or anything in between, very experienced or a virgin. Take your time to find the right partner for you, and if you find him, enjoy every second of your romance. Most importantly, no regrets if it doesn't work out in the end. I understand that your ideal is to find a partner to spend the rest of your life with, and while it certainly is possible to find this kind of person at first try, sometimes it takes more than one attempt to find him or her. Just be yourself and things will work out in the end. I wish you best of luck, joy and happiness.

[Submarkg]

Each to their own and believe it or not there is always someone out there for each of us …all about physical attraction not whether you have had sex or not ..