Do**** Posted November 7, 2022 Posted November 7, 2022 Do you have experience with Male sexual midlife crisis? I think me was triggered since both parents have passed recently. COVID lockdowns probably did not help, either. All the sudden I want a lot more than married vanilla sex (which I’m happy to have as usual) and I am craving for Switch, Dom/sub sexual adventures outside my marriage. For now I am hiding all this from my wife and best friend as I don’t want to change my otherwise happy marriage of 22 years. I know I need to talk to her, just not sure on how to approach this conversation with risking of loosing it all. Any good advise on this dilemma would be appreciated ☺️
0L**** Posted November 7, 2022 Posted November 7, 2022 A therapist could help u 2 in this difficult conversation, explaining her all aspects to Bdsm lifestyle.
TheDeathRictus Posted November 7, 2022 Posted November 7, 2022 Talk to her. If you crave this you could seek it out of your marriage or resent her for not giving it to you....and either would lead eventually to you losing her. Open, honest communication is the goal. Always
Submarkg Posted November 7, 2022 Posted November 7, 2022 I think a talk with your best friend and partner is the only advice. Does she know you are on this site ?? Dont live a lie with your best friend and life partner…Maybe there can be compromise ..
Lord_Talion Posted November 7, 2022 Posted November 7, 2022 Sounds like you never had the chance to explore your sexuality, perhaps being subdued by parental influence
Do**** Posted November 7, 2022 Author Posted November 7, 2022 Thanks OLadyBlack - I just reached out to a sex therapist- I need professional advice I think. She does not know I’m on FET
DeviantInside Posted November 7, 2022 Posted November 7, 2022 I’m happy to hear that you have reached out for professional advice. From what you mention above this may be linked to something more than just sexual preferences or urges. O may be that there are elements of grief/loss that are impacting your decision making processes. I am not diagnostic, and even with the professional training I have in the area I wouldn’t tell you what is correct or where this has come from based on a short paragraph. However I would suggest that maybe looking to resolve any trauma/anxiety/stress/unhappiness etc first and then seeing if you still feel the same way about kink might be a good start. That isn’t to say that feeling sexually unfulfilled definitely isn’t a part of it, just that it may be the brain latching on to something unrelated as a way to distract from something else.
Do**** Posted November 7, 2022 Author Posted November 7, 2022 Thanks all for your kind words and support. I just talked to my wife for the first time about it and she’s happy to see the professional sex therapist together with me. 😊
DeviantInside Posted November 7, 2022 Posted November 7, 2022 Just now, Domsub88 said: Thanks all for your kind words and support. I just talked to my wife for the first time about it and she’s happy to see the professional sex therapist together with me. 😊 That’s great news
Do**** Posted November 18, 2022 Author Posted November 18, 2022 I told my wife yesterday and came out as a Switch/Dom/sub. She’s completely vanilla and had no idea what that even is. Not much more than an “Uhh”, raised eyebrows and “as long as you’re not gay” in her reaction, whilst my *** was that she would throw me out of the house. I do have professional counselling for her and us booked as well. What I would like from here is a change to an open relationship, however there’s still a long road to go. Any suggestions from you, my kinky friends?
Matotonka Posted November 24, 2022 Posted November 24, 2022 I can relate to this question in many ways. Married 30 years but dead beadroom, and I do mean dead, for at least 5. We have talked with therapists about this issue but she will not budge. And not not only do I crave sex all the time I am discovering that I have more than just an interest in being trained as a sub, and other fetish as well. I'm not leaving her I just have needs she refto acknowledge let alone fulfill. Feeling so alone and trapped.
Do**** Posted November 24, 2022 Author Posted November 24, 2022 15 hours ago, Matotonka said: I can relate to this question in many ways. Married 30 years but dead beadroom, and I do mean dead, for at least 5. We have talked with therapists about this issue but she will not budge. And not not only do I crave sex all the time I am discovering that I have more than just an interest in being trained as a sub, and other fetish as well. I'm not leaving her I just have needs she refto acknowledge let alone fulfill. Feeling so alone and trapped. Yes, feeling the same. There must be a best of both worlds somehow. Just haven’t figured it out yet…
PhattBotumgal Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 Sorry.. Married for a decade, great sex, experimental, yet I want more and have no idea why. He is allowing my to explore my kink when the right person comes along
Da**** Posted May 30, 2023 Posted May 30, 2023 Thursday at 10:43 AM, PhattBotumgal said: Sorry.. Married for a decade, great sex, experimental, yet I want more and have no idea why. He is allowing my to explore my kink when the right person comes along Lucky lady. My partner isn't that understanding. So in the closet it is.
KitelessBanstyle Posted June 1, 2023 Posted June 1, 2023 Talk to her. She may be feeling the same thing.
Da**** Posted June 1, 2023 Posted June 1, 2023 9 hours ago, KitelessBanstyle said: Talk to her. She may be feeling the same thing. I have. She said no
April2023 Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 Yeah definitely not just a male midlife crisis- married 30 years sex life is good (but vanilla) last five years he wants less where as I want more and to explore but he won’t talk about it so my kink remains in closet
Da**** Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 Yeah definitely not just a male midlife crisis- married 30 years sex life is good (but vanilla) last five years he wants less where as I want more and to explore but he won’t talk about it so my kink remains in closet
Do**** Posted July 12, 2023 Author Posted July 12, 2023 Hi all, thanks for your support. My wife and I have since had a few sessions with a professional sex therapist. My desires are completely out in the open and she had her first real life encounter with one of her new online boyfriends yesterday. All going great. Even it it all seams so weird! How are you travelling? 😘
ex**** Posted July 12, 2023 Posted July 12, 2023 I had the same midlife thing happen and I went thru a lot if changes realized I’d been repressing my true sexual desires most of my life. Realized I’m not monogamous and asked my husband to open the marriage. We are polyamorous now and I’m having what I always wanted.
Do**** Posted July 12, 2023 Author Posted July 12, 2023 Excellent- great to see its working for you 😘
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