Flying solo at a fetish club.

[DeviantInside]

So I went to Dark in Southampton last night and it was the first time I’ve gone to a club on my own and where I didn’t know the people running it and half the people there. So what was it like?

Well I had a great time. There were people I knew which always helps and was good to catch up with them, but it was equally good meeting and chatting to new people too. One of the things I have always loved about fet clubs is how open and welcoming people are and it was the same here.

I think the venue is fantastic with great play space but also plenty of space to chat and chill out. I have missed the club scene since moving out of London and since most of the clubs I used to enjoy have sadly shut. Was glad to see Decadence resurfacing so hopefully that keeps going but it’s nice to find another club I enjoy.

[Carnival]

Ever been to The Hellfire Club in Sunbury?

[DeviantInside]

3 hours ago, Carnival said:

Ever been to The Hellfire Club in Sunbury?

I honestly don’t remember. It’s entirely possible, even probable, that I went at some point when I was active on the London scene… but I couldn’t tell you anything about the place or what it’s like there.

[Vi****]

That sounds great I also find that people are genuinely friendly at events too, not that I've been to many,  but I think most are keen to explore and chat. There's so many people I know want to go but won't go alone. 

[Carnival]

Then the question is how to help and link them up, maybe?

[Ch****]

I went to bbb this year alone.  There were some people of here going that I'm freinds with an wanted to see.

It was great catching up although I did miss playing with my master. Sadly he was rather ill. But I will go again alone if my masters ill.an there's people I want to see. But only if master allows it

[sm****]

What used to be epic in the old IC days in the UK, quite a few of us newbies at the  time would meet up with others at events, single or not.  It helped break the ice and at least you had someone to actually not make you feel like your a solo predator as it an feel like if your new and people avoid you.  

We had got to know each other over time through other media and word of mouth gets you invited to events over time, once people don't think your out on the pull all the time.

The other good points was, once your name was known  to others, you felt ok introducing yourself as a single at other events and didn't feel like a wallflower, always had someone who said they would be there, so each was on the look out to say hi.

Picking the right venue/event is also a good start, some are better than others, BBB, Lash etc  where as some of the more low key local events tend to be a bit more clique and you can feel like a total outsider.

[Carnival]

Makes sense… I’ve just dropped an email to The Hellfire Club to see if they want to start listing their events here. I guess that would apply to any venue - if you see an event here and can sign up for it you’ll also see who else is coming. If it’s your first visit you can then easily hook up with a person or two who’s been there before and make it easier for yourself…

[xJustin26x]

Hi what's it like going to a swingers club on your own for the first time? Never been to a club only met up in person with the same interests.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, xJustin26x said:

Hi what's it like going to a swingers club on your own for the first time? Never been to a club only met up in person with the same interests.

a lot depends on the club and one of the best ways is to have a club in mind and potentially ask the question about the specific club on somewhere like fabswingers where there will be people that go

they may even point you to associated 'socials' for the swinging events  meaning you already know people when you attend

but like a lot of things - a lot depends on your attitude.  if you go in with an air of demand or expectancy it will rarely go well.  If what comes down to it being a "good night" or a "bad night" is down to whether you have sex or not then you have to be prepared it might not end in sex.   But if you want to take it as an enjoyable night out in meeting people and seeing where things go, then it's easier to have fun whatever happens.

you also may find increased liklihood of something happening at, say, a greedy girls event - but also be aware that sometimes guys find they suddenly can't perform with an audience 

[Ch****]

On 12/22/2022 at 11:46 AM, smeagol said:

What used to be epic in the old IC days in the UK, quite a few of us newbies at the  time would meet up with others at events, single or not.  It helped break the ice and at least you had someone to actually not make you feel like your a solo predator as it an feel like if your new and people avoid you.  

We had got to know each other over time through other media and word of mouth gets you invited to events over time, once people don't think your out on the pull all the time.

The other good points was, once your name was known  to others, you felt ok introducing yourself as a single at other events and didn't feel like a wallflower, always had someone who said they would be there, so each was on the look out to say hi.

Picking the right venue/event is also a good start, some are better than others, BBB, Lash etc  where as some of the more low key local events tend to be a bit more clique and you can feel like a total outsider.

Iv never fount bbb to be clique.  You can often see the group of here at bbb there's always a group of 1 or more an any 1 we welcome all who want to join us.

 

I love the people of here.  Last time at bbb I was alone. 

I left at 9pm to get the tram so I could get home to see my master. I had to txt 2 of the freinds.from the group Al the while I was on the tram an till I got to my masyerd so they knew I was safe. 

 

 

[sm****]

44 minutes ago, Charms said:

Iv never fount bbb to be clique.  You can often see the group of here at bbb there's always a group of 1 or more an any 1 we welcome all who want to join us.

 

I love the people of here.  Last time at bbb I was alone. 

I left at 9pm to get the tram so I could get home to see my master. I had to txt 2 of the freinds.from the group Al the while I was on the tram an till I got to my masyerd so they knew I was safe. 

 

 

I never quoted BBB as clique tbh i said it was one of the better events to go to as it's not like some of the low key local fet events.

[Ch****]

@smeagolI apologise I read it wrong. Lack of sleep. 

[Hungry12124645]

I just lost my partner of 43years to heart problems I have not gone out yet

[Hungry12124645]

Never been to a fett club

[Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

It definitely ramps that anxiety. Good for you. I have yet to go to one for my 1st gathering. I'm into the scene but solo can be uncomfortable

[Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

I'm new to Asheville from Philadelphia

[Umbra2000]

Seems like fun I can’t wait to experience one o: