Breath Play

[Deleted Member]

I've engaged in breath Play for as long as I've been sexually active. In some way or another.

I prefer hands or a chain being pulled around my neck, low.  I'm pushing 45 and I've been active since I was 14... It's been a minute... I'm not dead yet. I'm sure I've lost too many brain cells.

I have never bothered to look up the risks. Denial in some form I'm sure. I did today but was on another Google search hunt. I didn't find my answer... I mean it's actually a little scarier than I guess I wanted to know ugh.

Cardiac arrest top of the list of risks... 

I never really have had the chance in all my years for all the sex to let out the submission I've wanted to...

The last few years I've been with someone who's newer to kink but that...top / Dom / Daddy sort..kinda.

I definitely have that annoying / brat / stubborn / call your bluff / sub side....

Lately things shifted a bit.

More kink. More domination. 

I'm good with this but there's like no off switch for me at any point. No down. No after care I want... Just more. Just next. Just harder. Do more. *** longer. *** harder... 

When we're out of that... I think to myself that can't be okay. That mindset I'm falling into. 

It's not like you can really Google... Hey so like what's too extreme in your kink? Ugh....

Since he's still finding his way, he gets too caught up to not give me all I want in the moment as well. So... 

I just don't know. I don't quite understand how to manage what I'm feeling. Where to put it. What exactly it is... How to bring it down at the end... Thoughts?

[Ne_Prophet]

There are a number of ways you can look at this. First a little bit of background in my community in the state of Nebraska I used to give the breath play demonstrations to groups, the BDSM community, couples and select singles. It was generally an hour and a half presentation with the first 45 minutes talking about safety and risk factors and the remaining time depending on skill level showing application.

One of the things you have to consider as you get older when it comes to breath play or medical conditions that you might have. If you have a heart problem, prone to stroke, circulatory issues then you want to shy away from certain forms if not all forms of breath play. But if you're otherwise a healthy man or woman or non-binary there are a number of different forms that you can use depending on what your personal preference is. Unfortunately there aren't that many of us that are actually skilled in breath play, that are spread across enough states to train everyone up on safety and proper implementation. For example you put your hands too high up say above or around the Adam's apple you can crush it, you can break the hyoid bone which can pierce the esophagus and then bad things happen.

My main thing that I would bring up to you or to anyone else who is interested or concerned. Ask somebody who knows ask someone who can provide references, ask somebody who's got a medical background. Do you lose brain cells from breath play? Maybe how can you quantitatively measure the amount of brain cells you lose from breath play versus smoking, drinking, watching television? There isn't a definable amount but you'll know or have an idea that you probably want to back off when you start missing periods of f time... Other than that all breath play can be done with somebody who is qualified to do so.

If you have more questions leave them in this comment string *. There's never anything called a dumb question the only way that we learn and stay safe is by asking questions. Especially with this fetish you're not allowed an oops

[fo****]

So where would you recommend hand placement? Is hand placement different than using rope/chain etc.? Retired medic, so looking to address the hyoid bone issue. Also, with the risk of fracturing tracheal rings, is using a tool or hands less risky? Thanks for your comment! Very much needed!

[Ne_Prophet]

A tool such as a modified *** pressure cuff they sell them I could send you a link, or a wide leather belt at least 2 in across is preferred to using a person's hands. The belt in a cuff apply pressure more towards the carotid and drug dealers it becomes more of a *** *** then an actual strangulation scene. You have the same desired results in less time and less chance of damaging a person's hyoid bone or the tracheal rings. The hands don't apply pressure evenly and they are very easy to bruise the skin... Generally speaking the best place for rope/belt placement is under the jawline above the Adam's apple. You don't want to put too much pressure on the jawline because you have to worry about the tempomendipular joint and it's very easy to bruise the jaw and push the jawline out of alignment. If you go much lower you risk damaging the hyoid bone. Generally A good rule of thumb until you're with a committed partner and you know each other's body language is eight on eight off and what that means is 8 seconds of applied pressure on and then 8 seconds of regular breathing off. Then you can increase decrease by one second on either side until you get to 812 count. Generally by then you are subject will be dizzy to say the least and be feeling the endorphin rush that you would get from totally passing out.

[Rattlehead]

Ne_Prophet did a great job explaining what to do and what not to do.  The thing I'm worried about is that you're with someone who not only is new to this but also doesn't know when to stop, because you want more and more.  I'd really worry that he could go too far and really hurt you or worse.  

My advice is think about the damage that could be done and then find a limit...maybe you passed it?  Find another kink that you could get the same rush, maybe impact play. Even impact play has its dangers though, but as long as you're not being punched in the stomach or face, if you keep it to the butt and back and if you do other areas (like pussy and breasts) just keep in mind you can get hurt (if you hit to hard on the clit you might lose sensation).  I have a friend who doesn't like being hit hard or hard sucking on her breasts because she's afraid of damage to the tissue, which is possible, but I'm not sure how likely.  Impact play is pretty much less dangerous than breath play.  I'm not saying stop breath play, just keep in mind the dangers and make a limit even though you want more.  The rush you get isn't worth brain damage or death.  Also, to the person you're playing with, have him get some training so they know when to stop.

BDMS is fun, I love being a Dom, but limits are important, and every good Dom finds limits.  Fetlife and Bloom have some classes, I think I saw a BDSM 101 class.  I would say both of you should take it together and ask good questions if they have a Q&A at the end.  It's always good to learn.  I think Fetlife had a breath play class, but not sure.  When I started, I was the opposite of your play partner, I was more cautious and tried to learn as much as I could.  In BDSM you can always learn more though.

[Deleted Member]

January 4, Rattlehead said:

Ne_Prophet did a great job explaining what to do and what not to do.  The thing I'm worried about is that you're with someone who not only is new to this but also doesn't know when to stop, because you want more and more.  I'd really worry that he could go too far and really hurt you or worse.  

My advice is think about the damage that could be done and then find a limit...maybe you passed it?  Find another kink that you could get the same rush, maybe impact play. Even impact play has its dangers though, but as long as you're not being punched in the stomach or face, if you keep it to the butt and back and if you do other areas (like pussy and breasts) just keep in mind you can get hurt (if you hit to hard on the clit you might lose sensation).  I have a friend who doesn't like being hit hard or hard sucking on her breasts because she's afraid of damage to the tissue, which is possible, but I'm not sure how likely.  Impact play is pretty much less dangerous than breath play.  I'm not saying stop breath play, just keep in mind the dangers and make a limit even though you want more.  The rush you get isn't worth brain damage or death.  Also, to the person you're playing with, have him get some training so they know when to stop.

BDMS is fun, I love being a Dom, but limits are important, and every good Dom finds limits.  Fetlife and Bloom have some classes, I think I saw a BDSM 101 class.  I would say both of you should take it together and ask good questions if they have a Q&A at the end.  It's always good to learn.  I think Fetlife had a breath play class, but not sure.  When I started, I was the opposite of your play partner, I was more cautious and tried to learn as much as I could.  In BDSM you can always learn more though.

Very well said and yes I have over time tried to get him to look into this. One thing not much spoken of is people with disability... Like dyslexia ugh.
He hated reading anything. YouTube he said he never felt he knew who was someone to "trust"etc.

As of today our whole relationship seems to seriously have blown up so it might be completely moot. Well no I guess it is,
except if I ever played again to keep it as food for thought and perhaps this thread and can help others.

Again, thank you for the responses. 💚