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How many guys have I slept with?


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I met my husband in school. We dated for a long time, then broke up. Years later we reconnected, dated and married. We're monogomous.

Before we got married, he asked me about my past. How many guys have you slept with? I said five.

After we'd been married a long while he told me he wanted to know more. He wanted details.

I started to tell him my stories. Turns out, it wasn't five guys I'd slept with. He said that including himself it was really six in total. He was right. He asked about all sorts of things, slowly unravelling my sexual history. He made me remember things.

Alcohol and drugs feature heavily in my early twenties. He knew this already. But it was only under probing that it began to dawn just how extensive my sex life had been.

I realized the number five was more about the number of longterm boyfriend's I'd had. If you wanted to count drunken handjobs and guys who couldn't get it up, then the number might be a little higher. If you included nights I don't remember clearly and the times I dry-humped guys without catching their names then the number is definitely higher. How do you define "slept with" anyway?

Then my husband asked about my bisexuality. He knew already I'd been with girls but not the details. I told him of the girls I slept with. He marvelled and asked all sorts of filthy questions about my sex life with women. And as he did, the same sort of unravelling began. If you considered making-out sessions on the dancefloor and clumsy fingering in bathroom stalls, I realized, then the number is probably a little higher.

Except, I finally told him, those numbers aren't a little higher. They're really much higher. I was coming to terms with what I'd done. What I'd managed to do in such a short time. I thought I was just living life but when I really thought about it, I'd been a bit of a slut.

I had sexual contact of one sort or another with as many of the cute attractive people I came across in my life as I could. I didn't hold back. I was out drinking, dancing, taking drugs. I was living life. I had a great time. I admitted it all to my husband.

He didn't get angry or jealous. He took notes and got turned on.

I admitted that I'm attention whore. I love men's eye's on me. Love it. I love when they flirt with me, hit on me, stare at me. I told him about the guys I flirted with regularly. The guys I'd been flirting with for years.

And I told him about going after guys who I knew had girlfriends. And about corrupting straight girls. And about my love for risky public sex. The more I told him, the more I wanted to tell him. So much of it had been forgotten about or blocked-out or just ignored. Who knew I'd done so much? I was shocked. Honestly. I thought I was a pretty straight-forward vanilla girl. I swear I did. I blew his mind.

I told him about the time the guy felt me up when he thought I was asleep. I let him and I know if he'd continued up my thigh he'd have found me wet.

I told him I want to fool around with other guys. And girls. I told him I really want to sleep with married men. Without their wives knowing. Completely illicit. I want a black book of guy's numbers. I want what I had when I was in my twenties but with the class and money I enjoy now I'm married and thirty. I want to be wined and dined. I want men to compliment me and buy me presents.

I admitted I wanted two cocks in me at the same time. I asked him to be one of them. Would you do that for me?

My husband, endlessly compassionate, took a deep breath and told me he would see what he could do. He told me he would accommodate my kinks, now that he knew about them, into our life. That if I behaved and pleased him, sex with strangers would be possible.

Then I told him the last bit. The hardest bit. I told him about the times I cheated on him.

I know! But I couldn't help myself. Drugs and alcohol played a factor. I love my husband very much.

He told me I had to tell my story. He said to tell everyone what a hot chick (his words!) with a sex drive actual gets up to. He said they'd find it fascinating. I'm not so sure. Isn't this just what everyone basically does, I said?

So, here I am. I'm Nikki. I really enjoy sex. I've had a lot of it. I've been promiscuous. I've crossed the line a few times. There's lots I haven't done yet! If I'm a good girl, I hope my husband will let me.

I'm a submissive housewife now and very happy. I want to tell my stories, if you want to hear them. Please follow and share.

Hi nikki, it's a good story. You have a good understanding husband too. You're very lucky.
Hi Nikki, I admire you for talking to your husband and more so that he listened and understood. Somewhere in your mind you must have known he would be ok with some (if not all) parts of your story, otherwise you would have never said anything and continued to keep it to yourself. I myself have a very similar situation with the exception that my wife will never understand the situation I find myself in or understand my needs, but that still doesn't change how much we love each other. I have met a beautiful woman who has similar wants and needs as my own but has the same issues as I do myself. We've been extremely happy playing and exploring with each other and hope it long may continue. My only real regret is I can't tell my wife how I feel and the things I wish we could do together, and for that I'm very jealous of You! (Im not afraid to say it) I wish you much happiness and excitement in exploring with your husband, he's a very lucky guy! Rob.

Hi Nikki

First of all, thank you so much for writing this piece. It reminds me a lot of myself.

I’ve been married for nearly 30 years and had many more sexual partners/experiences than my husband, although he never asked me for details! He had an affair last year which, although surprised me, didn’t tip my world upside down as I thought it would. In fact it prompted us to have a conversation about where our marriage was going. I have a very high sex drive which was not being satisfied by him, not in the kinkier way I was wanting, so after much open and honest soul searching, we came to the decision that we would try an open marriage. I have to say that so far it’s working out really well - I’ve met a couple of people from site and had lots of fun but now have met an amazing guy on site, who I am proud to say owns me and shares my need to explore bdsm and our kinks, which neither of us are able to experience within our conventional marriages.

  • 3 months later...

He sounds like he is a very lucky guy. 

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