Maso man and I are pen pals

[Deleted Member]

Sooooo, I don't know where to start. But basically, I got divorced last year and I want to find a new man. I went to some dating sites and for some reason, got into an exchange with a guy from Egypt (we are both Arabs) who wants to find a "Queen" that treats him like. slave. I said I am not a domina but he was begging that I insult him and give him orders. I kinda felt sorry for him since he cannot get any validation in his patriarchal society. I called him a piece of sh... and that made him call me "My Queen".  So I promised to give him orders for 7 days until I block him. I don't know how to treat him, but I gave him orders not to drink coffee and start his master's thesis (I'm pathetic , I know lol). 

He told me that he has been like this since his childhood when his very dominant female teacher used to hit him with a ruler to learn and how he was fascinated by her feet. He would dream of her and her feet and he was craving her attention.

Am I doing a mistake? I kinda feel he has childhood trauma and whenever he says "I wish a was a slave", he doesn't really comprehend? I do feel a sweet something inside me when I give him orders or when I imagine him kissing my feet, or him bound on the bed and I ride him. But I also enjoy having a powerful dominant man generally. I just like to be "on top" sometimes. He asked me whether I would r*pe him and treat him like a bitch. So... my questions again: Shall I leave him alone to find a real domina? Can a sub man here tell me how this works and what happened to you guys? Are you always a sub or just in the bedroom?

I don't know how he looks and I won't travel to engage in any relationship with him. I also don't do sex outside marriage anyway. But this whole thing made me very curious.... and I am wondering if I have "kinky" side, too. 

Thank you!!! 

[fe****]

I'm a sub in the bedroom and in private and in public we would be equals

[Pa****]

It's definitely a world worth exploring, If nothing else it's one of the more accepting communities and you'll make some amazing friends.

[ge****]

Firstly whilst it may be down to childhood experiences on his part, that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, some of my kinks were shaped by childhood experiences and not very pleasant ones, but I have accepted that though they were dark, they led me to where I am, which is something I embrace fully.
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The only way you can understand whether he understands both himself and his kink is by talking to him, and understanding him.
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Now I suspect he may be playing you for what he can get, and is possibly grasping at the glimmer of hope you offer, especially in an on-line environment where it can be difficult for men to find what they are looking for.
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As for whether you should continue - only you can answer that one - what do you hope to get out of doing so? What are his expectations and do you feel you can fulfill them? Ask yourself those things and more.
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Also be careful as to how involved you get without knowing him that well or even what he looks like - he may reveal himself one day a day you find no attraction.
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As for whether you have a "kinky" side - only you can answer that one, but it certainly sounds like you have a curiosity in that respect, but you possibly need to understand more about yourself and what it means to you.

[Deleted Member]

On 2/20/2023 at 1:39 AM, gemini_man said:

Firstly whilst it may be down to childhood experiences on his part, that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, some of my kinks were shaped by childhood experiences and not very pleasant ones, but I have accepted that though they were dark, they led me to where I am, which is something I embrace fully.
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The only way you can understand whether he understands both himself and his kink is by talking to him, and understanding him.
.
Now I suspect he may be playing you for what he can get, and is possibly grasping at the glimmer of hope you offer, especially in an on-line environment where it can be difficult for men to find what they are looking for.
.
As for whether you should continue - only you can answer that one - what do you hope to get out of doing so? What are his expectations and do you feel you can fulfill them? Ask yourself those things and more.
.
Also be careful as to how involved you get without knowing him that well or even what he looks like - he may reveal himself one day a day you find no attraction.
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As for whether you have a "kinky" side - only you can answer that one, but it certainly sounds like you have a curiosity in that respect, but you possibly need to understand more about yourself and what it means to you.

Thank you for the reply. It seems childhood does shape us in a big way. 

What do you mean by he is grasping to get something because it is online?

He's not asking for *** or to come here. He is 10 years younger and is looking for an older woman to control him. Also, I found out he has a foot fetish. So he was asking me about my feet and I jokingly asked if he wants to see mine. And I did. OMG, I didn't expect a reaction like that, but it's like as if someone has seen the most beautiful creature lol. He said he wants to kiss them and massage them, wash them and dry them everyday for me. And also crying to why I let him suffer. Well I said that I am controlling his emotions now and that he is allowed to dream of my feet. I looked at my e-mail and there are so many messages from him not being able to sleep and that his OCD is taking over and that can't think of anything else. He begged not to contact him again. But I do feel that he is the one who will write to me again lol. 

I am not sure if I should continue. It seems he needs a REAL relationship, not one online. What do you think? Shall I block him? Or is he actually enjoying his suffering? 

[XxxcuckyboyxxX]

In my experience a domme may have a master. If you have one, you would need to see what their thought were about you taking on a sub. 

[ge****]

2 hours ago, newGal said:

Thank you for the reply. It seems childhood does shape us in a big way. 

What do you mean by he is grasping to get something because it is online?

He's not asking for *** or to come here. He is 10 years younger and is looking for an older woman to control him. Also, I found out he has a foot fetish. So he was asking me about my feet and I jokingly asked if he wants to see mine. And I did. OMG, I didn't expect a reaction like that, but it's like as if someone has seen the most beautiful creature lol. He said he wants to kiss them and massage them, wash them and dry them everyday for me. And also crying to why I let him suffer. Well I said that I am controlling his emotions now and that he is allowed to dream of my feet. I looked at my e-mail and there are so many messages from him not being able to sleep and that his OCD is taking over and that can't think of anything else. He begged not to contact him again. But I do feel that he is the one who will write to me again lol. 

I am not sure if I should continue. It seems he needs a REAL relationship, not one online. What do you think? Shall I block him? Or is he actually enjoying his suffering? 

What I meant by "grasping" is there are many many male submissives out there looking for female dominants and so when they find someone that potentially shows an interest in them, regardless of whether they are dominant or submissive they "grasp" at that interest and try to shape themselves or the other person to fit their needs.
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As to what you should do, only you can know the answer to that one - if you're comfortable entertaining his interest then by all means do so, but do it on your terms and what you are comfortable with and don't be swayed completely by what he wants.
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Take things off the sexual path, and get to know him as a person and understand his desires and ensure he understands yours and find something that works for both of you if that is what you want.