Surprise asphixiayion

[ey****]

I think there is still potentially context missing, but - ultimately.

So, this should have been discussed before he tried.   Any form of breath (or other) play should never be done to the point of pass out.  Then him doing anything after you've passed out can never be consensual.

So you got choices depending on however much you like the guy or not.

Ending the relationship is a very good option.

But if you like or contextually want to give the benefit of the doubt - he has to not do this again. Ever.   This doesn't mean you can't explore breath play together if you found elements erotic, but he can never make you pass out and if it ever happens by 'accident' then he has to stop and revive you.   If you do choose benefit of the doubt, the relationship ends if he does it again because there's no excuses for him not knowing and you've drawn a clear boundary.

Anything further you do has to be properly communicated if something wishes to be tried. 

[ar****]

33 minutes ago, Babe23 said:

@arnhem961 I'm on a kink forum, apologies if my grammar wasn't clear by using the word, but... I didn't even know that this was any sort of thing that happened during sex, naturally I was fucking confused and scared. I would of liked him to discuss it with me before doing it but that did not happen

Oh, you may have misinterpreted my words as some sort of kinky definition correction.
...
I was being sarcastic, trying to make you realize that someone basically suffocated you for their gratification. Not once, but twice!
...
You could have suffered serious *** or even have died here! And yet, you just "were pissed" (past tense) that he did it. Euphemism much?
...
Make sure you're not justifying your experience by saying "yeah well, I almost suffocated, but it was kinda erotic, so that's ok". Major red flag here IMO.
...
Oh, and the guy could claim he's a professional doing this. But any professional would really know to ask consent first.

[CopperKnob]

4 hours ago, Babe23 said:

He did it on the carotid artery on my neck, it happened fast. I felt nothing until after on my neck. The first time it happened I thought I fell asleep during sex, the second time when I came to I knew he did something to make me ***,..

Having sex with you whilst you were unconcious?! The only instance where it may be debatable (for want of a better word) is if you had first had the conversation in which you'd agreed breath play to the point of being *** at which point he'd continue to have sex with you
You did not have this conversation.
More to the point, breath play is never safe.
.
Please could you go to a GP, check out your neck and have the appropriate STI checks etc? Who truly knows what how long you were *** for/what happened whilst you were.only him and I'd suggest he's not reliable.
.
Please also think about reporting, I know it's scary and I for one won't judge if you decide not to (nor should anyone else) Using Ju Jitsu? Christ alive! Do you have a close friend/s who are able to provide emotional support?
.
To the commenters referencing the "but..." at the end of Babe23's post. Not everyone recognises assault for what it is in the moment. Sometimes it takes day's, weeks, sometimes years. Hence the forum post I'm assuming (?). Some people who've been assaulted will ask what may appear to be questions with obvious answers (to those outside of the situation). They're literally testing the waters to see if how they're perceiving something is accurate or not.
(Babe23, apologies if this last paragraph is projecting)

[ma****]

10 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Having sex with you whilst you were unconcious?! The only instance where it may be debatable (for want of a better word) is if you had first had the conversation in which you'd agreed breath play to the point of being *** at which point he'd continue to have sex with you
You did not have this conversation.
More to the point, breath play is never safe.
.
Please could you go to a GP, check out your neck and have the appropriate STI checks etc? Who truly knows what how long you were *** for/what happened whilst you were.only him and I'd suggest he's not reliable.
.
Please also think about reporting, I know it's scary and I for one won't judge if you decide not to (nor should anyone else) Using Ju Jitsu? Christ alive! Do you have a close friend/s who are able to provide emotional support?
.
To the commenters referencing the "but..." at the end of Babe23's post. Not everyone recognises assault for what it is in the moment. Sometimes it takes day's, weeks, sometimes years. Hence the forum post I'm assuming (?). Some people who've been assaulted will ask what may appear to be questions with obvious answers (to those outside of the situation). They're literally testing the waters to see if how they're perceiving something is accurate or not.
(Babe23, apologies if this last paragraph is projecting)

I think you've been absolutely true with all your words, some have always been told that whatever happens to them, they are over reacting no matter what it is and normally the more serious the situation is the more they have been told that they are over reacting/dramatic, so yes sometimes you kinda need other's to clarify the situation and I can speak for experience on that

[mi****]

Yesterday at 07:42 AM, Littleneedsadaddy said:

Completely blacking out means not enough *** and oxygen was getting to your brain to keep you conscious. It's not a good thing to do very often and can cause permanent damage if done too much. Getting a rush from some choking is exciting to me. Completely blacking out isn't really safe or fun, IMHO.

Agreed not safe nor trustworthy to me

[Si****]

22 hours ago, Finally_Jen said:

It was the "before you allow him to do it again" comment that I had read as another time in future. 

Its an intense topic i wasnt lashing at you. Apologies if it came across as so. And no, i am not hallucinating.

I think you deserve a spanking Jen but of course only with your consent lol🤣 and I also apologize for the hallucinating remark 

[Je****]

14 minutes ago, Sir_Dom_Eyes said:

I think you deserve a spanking Jen but of course only with your consent lol🤣 and I also apologize for the hallucinating remark 

Its ok. No apologies needed. Reading in tone is hard. We all view things differently. 🥰🥰

No spanks for ages tbh. Maybe i can pull some strings with my other half 🤣🤣 

 

 

[Subversively]

I think personally it’s should have been an open discussion before it happened .  A compassionate dom has no excuse not to discuss boundaries .  I’ve been blacked out and vice versa.  I find the limits need to be pushed but by your agreement .  
 

did you like losing control ??? At the mercy of another , feeling safe to explore .  That is the questions .   Talk to him yellow red stop.  Discuss it right away …. If he care he will be compassionate and understand your boundary .  It’s likely he wants to be ***d like it do .  Talk to him about that .  You got this !!! 

[Robhynne]

Once was a mistake twice is intentional. I would of discussed it after the first time it happened. Do you trust this person you are having sex with?(I wouldn't, no matter how 'insanely erotic' it was) Were Boundaries and limits discussed? Keep yourself safe above all else.

[VK****]

I've never indulged in it, nor would I want to. To *** to the point of blacking out is an extremely dangerous thing to do, even for an 'expert', because so many things can go drastically wrong at that moment. From oxygen starvation killing brain cells to accidental yet fatal permanent compaction of the carotid artery. After all it's how death by slow hanging occurs and also a frequent method of ***. We also have many infamous examples of men self eliminating themsleves via hanging, oranges in mouth and plastic bags on head etc. Oxygen starvation  is a kick it seems, but a very dangerous one. Where a lot of religous nonsense emanates from, they were on their way to heaven and were returned. As it was non-consensual it breaks all the SSC, RACK conventions. Avoid.

[AZ****]

Thursday at 07:43 AM, Bigtittedbaby said:

Was he choking you? That's not safe at all. Especially for someone so new. Choking, despite it's popularity, is one of the MOST dangerous things one can partake it with regards to bdsm or kink. There are so so many ways it can go wrong and has gone wrong. And there are a myriad of problems that can appear from it even after a year from the event. Please look very carefully into and learn all you can before you ever consider it in the bedroom and please please for your safety don't EVER play with this guy ever again.

This is absolutely correct! Most significant injuries in bdsm are caused by choking and things going wrong.

[candyxkisses]

Not good idea