hooking up in small town - advice needed

[Deleted Member]

hey, i turned 18 a few months ago and have been curious in hooking up for a while now. i want to explore both my identity and my kinks.

however, i am a queer person in a very conservative area. i'm nonbinary and still so young that i'm unable to just go to a local bar and hope for the best.

it's hard to meet people around me who aren't straight and most dating apps in this area are either dead or full of people way older than myself. local kink/bdsm events in this area are practically nonexistent because, again, it's all very conservative.

does anyone have any advice on how to meet people? are there good dating apps i should try, maybe places nearby i should try to visit? any advice is much appreciated.

[Darkstarr314]

This place is not for novice

[Km****]

I would try FeelId, but unfortunately, you will have people of all ages. Kink is expansive and usually people start getting into kinks in their 20s and up.

[QXX666]

Go to a bigger town where more young people gravitate or meet up. Go on fetlife and look for munches, fetish events or clubs.

[Sexyboytoy]

What town

[mi****]

If u need any advice. I would be happy to chat we live too far to meet

[Deleted Member]

10 minutes ago, Darkstarr314 said:

This place is not for novice

this advice doesn't help 🥲 i'm not totally new to kink, just want to explore some more

[Deleted Member]

10 minutes ago, Kmm1995 said:

I would try FeelId, but unfortunately, you will have people of all ages. Kink is expansive and usually people start getting into kinks in their 20s and up.

i got on feeld a few hours ago, actually! would you consider it to be a good starting place? and yes, i realize that. i wouldn't mind dating someone in their 20s haha

[StrictMaster44]

15 minutes ago, Darkstarr314 said:

This place is not for novice

Yes it is for beginners!

[Ka****]

First of all, awesome first name! To answer your questions. Their are a lot of community groups. You could try starting with meetup.com groups to see if there is any groups in your area with similar interests that could make recommendations to you. I have found several groups for hobbies and other interests there in my area.

[rb****]

Feeld is an app I have found successful all over in my travels.

[Deleted Member]

There’s no rush Stellare. At 18yo, the kinky world is your oyster. Just be careful of the nasty people out there, but there are also plenty of good people to meet. You must just screen and meet people in a safe place. Meet first and check them out.

[Km****]

1 hour ago, stellare said:

i got on feeld a few hours ago, actually! would you consider it to be a good starting place? and yes, i realize that. i wouldn't mind dating someone in their 20s haha

I think it is a good place for you to find people that aren't on that straight narrow vanilla path. I don't know how it would be in your area though it really just depends on the people. I'm sure you will do fine, just make sure you talk with them until you feel comfortable don't feel rushed.

[BT****]

Feeld cores was helpful in finding people connected to various groups or places in my surrounding area. Might be worth a look. FetLife events was also helpful as it gave me an idea of people and events nearby.

[Deleted Member]

You wont have any issues meeting someone. Just make sure you list your boundaries. Friends w benefits is a good way to start your journey. Start w someone you trust to not push your boundaries

[Km****]

2 hours ago, stellare said:

i got on feeld a few hours ago, actually! would you consider it to be a good starting place? and yes, i realize that. i wouldn't mind dating someone in their 20s haha

FeelID is a good resource. You will find a lot of people on there with different kinks. I think you will do well on there. However you are limited to the people in your area so it just comes down to the local people. Just make sure you take your time with the people you talk with and don't feel pressured to meet before you are ready. Hopefully this helps

[ey****]

A lot depends, I guess, how small the town is.    There is every sporting chance you're not alone in the small town and that can be a big boost to trying to get to know each other, but then alas - it is at the mercy of how small it is and if there are any other larger towns in reasonable travel distance

Equally. If you are finding folk on apps with similar interests, but are older than you, you could approach with a view of getting recommended hangout spots, how have they found people in the past?  Are there any spaces you can reasonably go to, rather than a bar.

[Da****]

I wouldn’t mind being friends! I can kinda relate but it just took some time. I’ve only talked to one person on here and I’ve been on and off for two years. 🥲

[p1****]

I would honestly say please dont rush it. Especially since you have time to explore yourself and your personal needs and wants. The right person will find you if you are patient.

[Da****]

In the cities they use an app called grinder

[Deleted Member]

There is a small group on fetlife for people in SOMD. Maybe try reaching out on there?

[jo****]

It may not be best for your social live to hook up with different people in your area if it is very conservative. Pretty sure you are in the US, so clubs below 21 is an issue. Besides the plane tickets traveling abroad can be relatively cheap. And may be the best option using hostels. A place that doesn't have to be expensive for example is Berlin, a place that is cheaper is Prague. On dating apps OkCupid is the most openminded one.

[0u****]

I to live in a small Rural area. Luckily I have a large city near me. It's a catch 22 for most. You come out and half the tow hates and judges you, the other embraces you. At a young age that can have an effect on you for some time. The world is however opening up to acceptance. There maybe many in your situation that are ***ful of coming out. It takes the bold to do so. The say "if not us then who? If not now then when?" Pick your time wisely to rise as the leader. You got this!