Reasons Many People Crave Being “Little” and the Caregiver/Little Dynamic

[Ti****]

• This is a brief reminder to all of the CG/L or daddy-doms/mommy-dommes there! It’s meant to briefly remind you that sometimes, the kink relationship that the caregiver-little dynamic brings…isn’t always just about sex. And even if it is a sexual dynamic, that in no way means that it doesn’t include a little more to it than just the sexy fun times. And a major point…this won’t be all-encompassing or deal with everyone and every situation. This is just what I see fairly often…

• Many littles need comfort because they really feel they lost out on it somehow in some parts of their life, whether when actually children or just in their life as a whole…and in a regressive or more innocent mind-space, they’re far better able to accept it without the fear of being weak or ashamed or needy…their regressive mind-space genuinely enables them to accept love without as much of the fear, guilt, shame, or self-doubt that are a serious problem for a lot of people into this kink scene.

• Doubt and trust…: Doubt that if they let themselves go that someone will be there for them…and trust that they can give up that control without danger to themselves, physically, emotionally, or mentally. It’s the ultimate and sometimes overwhelming feeling of trust that a lot of littles crave. Because if they can surrender their adulthood, their serious responsibilities, and they STILL are cared for and loved…that proves, in some way, that their partner is truly there for them, completely and deeply. IN MANY kink relationships, that’s a defining feature of submissiveness…being able to surrender control and trust that even if it hurts or you’re scared or something COULD be frightening…you don’t need to doubt, because you have to completely give up trust and have faith.

• Simplicity: When you struggle with life, or are someone who is feeling overwhelmed by the ten thousand pains and frustrations every day can bring, to be able to take a step into a simpler, kinder mindset is amazing…and it’s rare. But lots of littles crave that. And that is not often sexual…it’s actually kind of deeper, because that is a way for them to say that their fears, doubts, pain, frustration…all of it isn’t truly meaningful to them when they have a caregiver to help them through.

• Love…in a deep, sincere, almost pure form it’s about love. It’s the idea that love is complex and deep and varied…it can come in a thousand forms and a million trillion strengths…and yet when they strip away all the complex crap, all the words that modify its meaning, all the details, they can give love in a pure and simple way that might mean even more because it IS so pure. And feeling loved LIKE that…the love a caregiver expresses when they care for, protect, help, nurture, and lead their little…that’s an intense thing. It’s like seeing for a moment that the whole world of your partner is focused on you..even if you know it can’t be because of their real-world concerns, that impression of intensity of love and focus and giving…it’s intoxicating in a way no drug will ever quite manage.

• Because they missed out…and need it now. It’s not a shock to realize that littles are more likely to come from families with manipulative, abusive, or neglectful environments, at least in my personal experiences. That doesn’t mean ALL do, and it’s true that many happy and healthy people still feel little…but for some it’s about replacing that feeling or replicating that feeling that was not there quite enough in your younger development, in the time period when you build your comprehension of the world and better understand how you feel about others and how they feel about you. And as a result, trying to replace that…trying to find comfort that you might miss or have missed out on, trying to remind yourself that those issues of the past can still be fixed and aren’t just going to be a hole in your heart and an ache in your chest for the rest of your life without fix or resolution…that’s heavy. That is HEAVY.

• Just my opinion…and I’m not therapist or psychoanalyst or trained professional. I’ve just seen a lot of patterns in this community, and read a lot of theoretical discussions to arrive at my own opinion…and if you agree, disagree, or are uncertain, I’d love to know. Do you think it’s true? What about your partner, if you have one? This can be a seriously important discussion topic…so I hope it works well to discuss it from here.

• Be well, little and big friends!

[sh****]

Amazing I learned so much here thank you

[Deleted Member]

Well said

[Li****]

Very true, thanks for sharing.

[do****]

Thank you. Love this. Question, though I am not clinical I am in the field and have done introspection and assessments on myself. Doing this I've learned I went through Erikson's stages of development later in life than I should have. For example, I did not past Identity vs. Role confusion until I was 27 when I should of did it at 12-18. So my question to.anyone, do you think that applies here or to any one of us and our kinks, fantasies, etc. I know my upbringing and what I was exposed to plays a part in mine. Not ashamed to admit. Molested by older women at an early age created super high sex drive 🤷🏾‍♂️. What can you do? Nothing but accept the person the world created. I have an adult super power now. That's called optimism. Abused children can absorb more pain than an adult 300+ lb men, that's a super power. Yes it's horrible that it happened and they had to go through it. But they are still here . They are still strong. Some are now receiving the best orgasms of their life because of it. Optimism 🤷🏾‍♂️

[do****]

Thank you. I wrote a whole book and it didn't post. Do not feel like doing it over. Just going to say thank you

[ma****]

This broke me 💔, that's someone's put into words what I've never been able to articulate myself, just a shame I can't actually find it 💔

[lo****]

Stated better than many professionals. Very informed

[il****]

I feel like crying reading this... If only there's someone who thinks like this in my life...

[Co****]

Thankyou sharing, that's actually lovely x

[az****]

Imma f**king cry a river. Thank you for the post dude! As a fellow little, this helped me a lot.. I struggle with feeling good about being a little because a lot of the time people who say they are “daddy” or “caregiver” they don’t really understand cglre because they never put on the effort to actually study about it or to ask other like minded people. There are resources, they just can be limited at times.  

[no****]

You absolutely killed this. Thank you so much for providing comprehensive education for DD’s!

[ti****]

Many who seek that were victims of child sexual abuse. Because of that they feel like their childhood was stolen from them. They are seeking what they missed because of the abuse. Of course, this does not apply to everyone like that, but it does to a disturbing amount. Many of them do not even realize it themselves, or are not able to admit it to anyone or to themselves.

[om****]

I’m balling my eyes out here 😭I need this so much right now

[Setrion]

As someone with less experience still exploring why my kinks might be, this is a really useful insight into the dynamic. It's always strange to see a post like this subtly outline all my traumas... There is a heartbreaking sweetness to reading a post like this and finding cravings I didn't know I had. Thank you for describing this so well.

[li****]

Wonderfully explained☺️ if I trust and value you enough to get in little space with/around you, then it should be appreciated and valued and recognized! It’s when I’m my most vulnerable, needy, looking for guidance and nurturing, and absolute weakest. All my walls down.
And if I’ve chosen you to be my Md or Dd/CareGiver/Dom , then I’m literally trusting you to have the ability and authority to completely remold and reshape my mind/life/body/routine/relationships.
That should be seen as a gift. A very appreciated, respected, valued, and loving gift. It requires a entirely new level of trust and commitment…

[BearlyVanilla]

Very insightful, thank you for sharing.