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Am I wrong


Ch****

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Ch****
Posted

Am I wrong in thinking it is bad etiquette to tell a dom that you are in love with there sub.  Even though the sub doesn't know you apart from to say hi how are you. Just general chat

Wy****
Posted
Sounds very odd Charms. But perhaps a byproduct of the parasocial relationships that can be formed in online contact?
Ch****
Posted
2 hours ago, WyldKatt said:

Sounds very odd Charms. But perhaps a byproduct of the parasocial relationships that can be formed in online contact?

Can you pls explain  what you mean.

 

I also know that the sub as never shown interest in the other person at all. I chat to lots of subs an doms on here but I would never tell anyone in a dynamic I'm in love with them.

 

I want even chat to a dom or sub in a dynamic platonicaly with out the others permission. 

 

Example I love books an will chat about them. There's a dom who writes books an we've exchanged pms about his writing. Iv even been privlagec to read some of his work.

 

I told him after our 3rd pm that unless  his sub gave there permission I would no longer exchange pms. 

 

I actually pmd the sub in question an asked if it was ok for me to continue  talking to her dom. She said it was fine an she understood what our messages were about. She also thanked me for thinking of her in this situation. 

 

I said I prefer to get the subs permission as. There after all a part of the dynamic an should get a say. Just because she belongs to her dom she does not belong to me an her needs an wants ect should be meet. As far as I'm concerned any dom, sub or slave ect are all equal as far as I'm concerned an I will treat each of them with the respect they deserve.  

 

There's only 2 people I want argue with an that's my master an my mom.

lo****
Posted
Doms approaching subs, in anything that's not PURELY platonic based when the sub is clearly taken is not just breaking etiquette. It's blatant disrespect to the dynamic.
Ch****
Posted

It's not a dom after another doms sub. It's a sub after another sub

Posted
How could someone be in love with someone they barely know & have hardly said anything to beyond a polite greeting, that would be attraction/infatuation not love.
Je****
Posted
2 hours ago, locketheart said:

Doms approaching subs, in anything that's not PURELY platonic based when the sub is clearly taken is not just breaking etiquette. It's blatant disrespect to the dynamic.

I believe you've misread. 

A sub approaching someone else's sub i think is whats implied.

Je****
Posted

I'd be inclined to agree with BrumDomSir.

 

You cannot be in love with someone you don't know, who barely knows you, when you've not spent any time together or know anything besides pleasantries. 

 

Sounds like infatuation and a crush. 

That or if they're approaching a dominants submissive,  makes me sort of think something sly and harmful was at play, depending on if the sub in question knows the other person's dominant. 

 

A lot to think about, but unless they're good friends with a close bond,  then most likely not love at all.

TeeJay_98
Posted
7 hours ago, Charms said:

Am I wrong in thinking it is bad etiquette to tell a dom that you are in love with there sub.  Even though the sub doesn't know you apart from to say hi how are you. Just general chat

It's abit creepy....how could you be in love with someone that doesn't know you apart from a hi?.... 

More of an obsession or infatuation as someone else has mentioned.

 

Br****
Posted
I am fully aware of being an example not the object of the question but if someone were to become randomly enamored with me in chat I would most certainly hope they would approach my Dom before me. Mainly because I have chosen him and he is an expert in me and what the expression of said emotions would do to me either pleasantly or harmfully. That being said if they approached me directly, I could make up my own mind - but I wouldn’t keep any of it from my Dom. A sub is a human and might (in my case does) get Dom crushes and Sub crushes that I would be unlikely to take beyond friendship and flirting. But in my dynamic - these are not hidden impulses. They are openly discussed with my Dom. He might be amused if I developed feelings for someone else (He was also once poly). But his place is not threatened by feelings.
sp****
Posted
In response to the original post I would have to ask this first what type of love are you talking about as there are different types of love and personally to the rest of what has been said I have to say this I personally have very different views dealing with these things love is honestly an abstract concept and it comes down to what people individually think of and view love as as I said above there are different types of love and varying degrees of love being enamored or infatuated with someone is a type of love in my opinion and honestly can lead to deeper connection and deepening of the feeling love again I suppose it truly depends on your view of what love is but even if it is infatuation or being enamored with someone in my opinion it is still a form of love whether or not you know a person well or just met them online or at a coffee shop or whatever there are those people out there who never act on the infatuation that honestly miss out and there are those that may take it to an extreme but it is about a balance and it is also about respect all that being said in final response to the original post as to am I wrong I would say it truly depends on the situation the dynamics involved and the people involved in some cases it may be bad etiquette in others it might not be I can’t speak for everyone for myself while I may not at this moment know what I would do if such a thing took place I would want to know of such an event but that is just my opinion on the matter
lo****
Posted

Declaring love for anyone, be it D/S, when they are in a dynamic and not a "you're my friend and I love you, think you're awesome" type way is still way way uncalled for.

After not even talking to them a while? What picture of you do they have in their head? Sounds kinda unstable or like they have built someone in their head and attached it to you, not really interested in the reality.

Then there's the angle that was mentioned already "What game are they playing at? What are they trying to get from you? What are they trying to pull?"

So many red flags in that behavior from not respecting dynamics to possibly unhinged.

Br****
Posted
Having feelings doesn’t make someone unhinged. Bottling them up might do the trick though. Really unhinge someone.
lo****
Posted
56 minutes ago, BruisedScaredRabbit said:

Having feelings doesn’t make someone unhinged. Bottling them up might do the trick though. Really unhinge someone.

If there has been no interaction beyond "hi" and "how are you?"

ABSOLUTELY a reason to call someone who thinks they are in love with said person is unhinged.

Br****
Posted
Lobby has many conversations beyond that. You can see a lot about people buy observing.
De****
Posted
It’s inappropriate to approach someone else’s sub in that manner. Even if you’re a sub yourself.
MasterDarcy1979
Posted

OK. I've read the OP and the subsequent post three times each.

I get more confused every time I read them.

Anyway. I'll infere from what's there.

"Love" is as overused as "hate", in society. There isn't love in the majority of marriages, which is why half of them end in the "D" word (Divorce, not decapitation).

Is it wrong to tell a Dom that you're in love with their sub? Not really. You were born with a brain and feelings. No one is stopping you.

However. If you don't actually know the submissive in question, there's precisely a zero percent chance that the feelings involved will be of the "love" variety.

Especially not if you have never properly engaged with them on any kind of an intellectual level.

In closing, is it wrong? No. Is it love? No.

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