Rethinking brat play

[XeBernie]

I'm in a committed open relationship that I'm having to currently maintain over a long distance. 

Part of maintaining my control over my partner/sub is demanding them to edge daily, even though they don't like it. They say they feel like they are going to explode. They sometimes (rarely) complain but are always compliant.  So compliant that they just do as they're told and it ends up being me who ask if they are still complying. I will do this for weeks, then have either a planned or unannounced shared session over zoom where I let them release for me.

Anyway, I made a demand to get the most recent edging session as a video. I got it right away because they do as they are told. It was so hot, from the warm up, to the bucking hips, moaning, and grunting. I was so turned on, but as i was watching I started thinking that they weren't going to stop in time and would blow right through and orgasm and I was getting a defiance or "accident" video. Yeah, it was that hot. I found that I was really enjoying that feeling, and I was already planning retaliation or punishment for what I thought I was about to see. But, to my still amazement, they stopped on a dime and properly denied themselves.

I've always thought I wanted a 100% unquestioning submissive and wasn't interested in brat play, but isn't my reaction to the video (even though I was wrong) evidence that I have at least some interest in defiance and brattiness?

 

 

 

[Fa****]

It doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than telling you what you wanted or hoped for in that precise moment.

How would you cope with having a brat in your life? Could your current have brat tendencies or would this involve another partner?

Feeling like you might want brat play and actually having it are 2 VERY different things. Perhaps what you want is merely disobedience from your sub now and again in order to give you a reason to punish 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

Bratting and defiance seem to me two very different things, I have a brattish side but at heart I'm completely devoted and the regret drips from me when I get pulled up for my sass. 

Could it be that you occasionally need some defiance in order to assert your authority? Remember it needs to be enjoyable for both of you and if a completely compliant sub is not fulfilling you, you need to reach out and have that conversation, could be something your sub doesn't realise you need or want especially if you've stated absolutely no brats. Good luck with your good girl, I imagine sometimes my D type wishes I was less sassy 🤣

[CopperKnob]

Bratting is cheeky, defiance is rude. Essentially, you got what you asked for but in the moment, you wanted something else? Subs aren't mind readers and this event isn't an indication of anything other than you questioning your wants/needs which none of us are able to assist you with. It's a conversation with your partner you're looking for, not random internet folk

[De****]

I agree it’s not necessarily defiance. Brats are often still obedient or if they are disobedient they do it from a playful non disrespectful place. For example, I do what I’m told I’m just often sassy on the way to doing it. My Dom describes it not as getting off of the leash completely, rather pulling on my leash until I *** on it.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, denver725 said:

I agree it’s not necessarily defiance. Brats are often still obedient or if they are disobedient they do it from a playful non disrespectful place. For example, I do what I’m told I’m just often sassy on the way to doing it. My Dom describes it not as getting off of the leash completely, rather pulling on my leash until I *** on it.

This!

[De****]

11 minutes ago, Blaise said:

This!

I would also say I rarely get punished for it. It’s usually treated with patience until I’m feeling like I am going to get away with it. Then a very swift, strong, undeniable assertions of control. Like roughly and harshly stuffing their dick in my mouth because “I can’t seem to do anything useful with my mouth at the moment.” Which of course is the whole reason I’m bratting in the first place. For that reaction.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, denver725 said:

I would also say I rarely get punished for it. It’s usually treated with patience until I’m feeling like I am going to get away with it. Then a very swift, strong, undeniable assertions of control. Like roughly and harshly stuffing their dick in my mouth because “I can’t seem to do anything useful with my mouth at the moment.” Which of course is the whole reason I’m bratting in the first place. For that reaction.

Yup. I thought I'd got away with my sass recently. Boy am I going to find out how wrong I was as its already been mentioned and I've been pulled for it I've just got to await the ramifications. Suspense is an absolute killer. 

[De****]

5 minutes ago, Blaise said:

Yup. I thought I'd got away with my sass recently. Boy am I going to find out how wrong I was as its already been mentioned and I've been pulled for it I've just got to await the ramifications. Suspense is an absolute killer. 

We are into kitten play so for me it’s like the baby kitten swiping at the older cat over and over and over until they get pummeled. I know the repercussions are coming, but I wanna play.

[Deleted Member]

Just now, denver725 said:

We are into kitten play so for me it’s like the baby kitten swiping at the older cat over and over and over until they get pummeled. I know the repercussions are coming, but I wanna play.

Yeah, I got over confident in public. Big mistake. Love the kitten analogy!