Getting old

[Da****]

I was just wondering. How difficult is it for a 58yr old to get back into this lifestyle?

[Deleted Member]

why difficult?. do it.

[Be****]

Well as long as you’re polite and not come across as thirsty when speaking to prospective partners you should be able to find fun

[Ki****]

I was 62 when I came in to the lifestyle and I am wearing. I’m glad I came in when I did.  Better late than never. 

[ey****]

I know someone who didn't start until he was nearly 70. It's never too late.

In terms of difficult - no more or less than any other newcomer (or person returning) arguably a little easier in the sense that people won't judge for being "too young" 

[ge****]

Age doesn't come into it if you are realistic in your expectations e.g. expecting to meet a genuine 20 year old within days/weeks of joining the site is extremely unlikely.
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Generally speaking though, it's as difficult as you make it for yourself - there are no guarantees of course, but getting your expectations, approach and attitude right are key, as is an appealing profile and pictures.
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Beyond that it comes down to making yourself stand out and showing you understand the lifestyle, what you desire from it and what you can offer others - interacting with people (both on-line and at munches/kink events) not with the aim of anything happening necessarily but to interact and get to know people and them you.

[ea****]

Never too late!

[DarkArts1066]

It’s really not about age. As a 58 year old who has been in the lifestyle for a lot of years now … with a few ‘vanilla’ breaks along the way, it really is all about your attitude - and how you approach others.
Age gives us experience. Experience shows us what people expect from us… and also gives us the behavioural tools and maturity to be unselfish as lovers, Dominants, submissives - wherever we choose to fit into this lifestyle. Be courteous, polite, genuine, approachable - and above all, honest, and you’ll have no problem fitting back in.
You already have the tools - you just have to unlock the toolbox again.
I wish you good luck.

[Bart48]

It is like riding a bicycle. Remarks as you are not too old are true yet I experience frequent feedback as if I am too old. I guess you can never be too old or late to be a master or mistress. Slaves however seem to have a sell by date…

[Shilo66]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

Age doesn't come into it if you are realistic in your expectations e.g. expecting to meet a genuine 20 year old within days/weeks of joining the site is extremely unlikely.
.
Generally speaking though, it's as difficult as you make it for yourself - there are no guarantees of course, but getting your expectations, approach and attitude right are key, as is an appealing profile and pictures.
.
Beyond that it comes down to making yourself stand out and showing you understand the lifestyle, what you desire from it and what you can offer others - interacting with people (both on-line and at munches/kink events) not with the aim of anything happening necessarily but to interact and get to know people and them you.

 

45 minutes ago, DarkArts1066 said:

It’s really not about age. As a 58 year old who has been in the lifestyle for a lot of years now … with a few ‘vanilla’ breaks along the way, it really is all about your attitude - and how you approach others.
Age gives us experience. Experience shows us what people expect from us… and also gives us the behavioural tools and maturity to be unselfish as lovers, Dominants, submissives - wherever we choose to fit into this lifestyle. Be courteous, polite, genuine, approachable - and above all, honest, and you’ll have no problem fitting back in.
You already have the tools - you just have to unlock the toolbox again.
I wish you good luck.

I'm 56 pushing 57, I was going to write a comment regarding this topic, but these two statements have already said it all, and so long as you abide by them, you'll be fine.    

[An****]

The old Age question, ive often contemplated this and agree with all the above. If your genuine, upfront, honest, universal, courteous everything falls into place. Age only becomes a problem if you allow It to be. Likewise ive fell into a few vanilla relationships, which ive regretted, whilst now im more astute to what i want and need Out of a relationship. Its all about balance, accept it, is it too late, never...women know what they want and if you have the right attitude and approach, confidence and experience, women will respect this, regardless of age. Young women look for a man with maturity, without the arrogance that they get with men of their own age, they wont just drop into your lap, you need to understand they have different needs and a lifestyle compared to ours. They do want someone to look up to that can guide them be their pillar of experience. So be prepared to be patient, the right lady will eventually come along when you least expect it. Just ask them does age matter tbh everytine ive asked this 90 per cent of the time theyve replied No it doesnt. As long as You bring the package, the lifestyle, the experience and your wealth of knowledge and can Incorporate this both in and out of the scene, whilst adding trust and discretion, communication, along with everything else brought up by @DarkArts1066 and @gemini_man, you should be able to just fit back into the lifestyle. Remember its a numbers game, as is anything when using apps or trying to connect with like minded people. So good luck and i wish you well. Oh by the way its my birthday tomorrow im one year older but im still the man I was yesterday so does that matter? Lol

[Bi****]

I wouldn’t know but some women such as myself prefer mature .. I wouldn’t stress about age much

[de****]

I’d say it depends on how set in your ways you are. Bdsm is about experimentation, risk and challenge, people tend to shy away from those things as they get older as a consequence of a lifetime of learning what works and doesn’t work (for them). I’d say if you are open to new ideas then you should have no problem getting back into it. Finding a partner however will be tricky because people are becoming much more picky and apprehensive to date as each generation goes by.

[Deleted Member]

I feel your *** I’m over 50 and you do doubt your ability, to pursue the lifestyle. And that can become worrying to the person or people ,

I hope this helped

[le****]

I’m the same age. It has been hard as hell for me to break in. I will be talking to someone and they just stop talking. I do not understand why that is.

[ge****]

37 minutes ago, lenexa226 said:

I’m the same age. It has been hard as hell for me to break in. I will be talking to someone and they just stop talking. I do not understand why that is.

That's likely nothing to do with your age though - could be any number of reasons why, and you may never know them, just have to see it as for whatever reason they don't wish to talk further, accept it and move on.
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In some cases they may pick up the conversation at a later date, but until they do acceptance is all you can do.

[Ev****]

Guys there’s like 7 billion people on the planet. Don’t get discouraged if you are having trouble finding ways back into the lifestyle. Stay patient, be yourself and be honest. Also check other avenues for this lifestyle.

[MisstressStorm]

I have accounts actively pursue me because of my maturity. Think I’m an easy target and should be grateful for the attention🤣 Just recently though I’ve accounts in their 20/30’s want me to buy them expensive kink items - obv haven’t read my profile 🙄⛈

[ch****]

According to the stuff I found while going through my 87 year old grand father's stuff after he passed away.... Pretty easy

[de****]

6 hours ago, Evans1407 said:

Guys there’s like 7 billion people on the planet. Don’t get discouraged if you are having trouble finding ways back into the lifestyle. Stay patient, be yourself and be honest. Also check other avenues for this lifestyle.

I like the other avenues part, because online dating is not very productive, particularly when you have to pay for “extra features” and not be shadowbanned. The “plenty of fish in the sea” thing though doesn’t work for everyone. Not all 8 billion of us are kinky, I’m top of having to share very particular kinks to be compatable. It’s fine if you are into rope play but if you are into s**t (I’m not) you are s**t out of luck. Then there’s the matter of geography. How many people have a have a p**s fetish in a town of 20,000 people? Then if you are male your odds are even smaller because for every semi attractive female there’s at least 1000 men that would f**k her so she can afford to be choosy where as men have no choice but to compete.

[ey****]

In general - some of the advice I'd give is the same I would for any age group.  I think there are a couple of smaller things to be mindful - and some might be on what the truth is and how you come across.  

The mindful bit is kinda, one of the tropes is that of someone who has just come out of a vanilla relationship and now wants kink - either because they felt they'd been suppressing that in a relationship, or because they naively think it's "easier" - and, nope it's not easier - effectively to be functioning here you need all the kinda things in common that make vanilla relationships work AND compatible kinks AND the right level of trust.

So, that's something to be aware of.

But there are things you can do to kinda get away from that and also get in good stead.   

Firstly, it's probably never been easier to find info on kink and you'll probably find there's a lot of different opinions and different ways people like to do things. That's great. But prior ideas of "the way" are gone.  

There's nothing wrong with only trying to meet people online but it's massively limiting.  And I'm not saying you need to deep dive into your local community, but it's worth kinda knowing what is there.

If you are in/near Birmingham it's a pretty much hot bed of kink, not just for how accessible a lot of places are - but you've got things like the BBB every month (ideal for in person shopping, demos, discussions and networking) and Birmingham Fetish Weekend is in October.

While of course this isn't any guarantee of play or relationships or anything like that - it is certainly a big door (back) into the lifestyle. 

[ge****]

24 minutes ago, devilsdreams said:

I like the other avenues part, because online dating is not very productive, particularly when you have to pay for “extra features” and not be shadowbanned. The “plenty of fish in the sea” thing though doesn’t work for everyone. Not all 8 billion of us are kinky, I’m top of having to share very particular kinks to be compatable. It’s fine if you are into rope play but if you are into s**t (I’m not) you are s**t out of luck. Then there’s the matter of geography. How many people have a have a p**s fetish in a town of 20,000 people? Then if you are male your odds are even smaller because for every semi attractive female there’s at least 1000 men that would f**k her so she can afford to be choosy where as men have no choice but to compete.

I compete with no-one apart from myself - I also don't see women as some kind of prize to be won. I also have absolute choice over my interactions and conduct, as much as any women have. Yes, women may have a far greater quantity of interest, but when you narrow that down to quality the balance is far more even.
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Whilst yes finding those with a specific kink is limiting, especially if your search radius is low, you basically have the choice to either widen your search radius or compromise on the specific kink.
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Even if they were relevant your numbers are plucked from thin air and very wide of the mark - on most sites like this the balance is usually around between 10 and 15 men to every woman, but by the time you remove the men that just don't "get" sites like this that ratio narrows right down.
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But again it's a quality vs quantity thing.

[Vi****]

14 hours ago, Kimber469ing said:

I was 62 when I came in to the lifestyle and I am wearing. I’m glad I came in when I did.  Better late than never. 

Go Kimber Go Kimber lol

[Vi****]

13 hours ago, DarkArts1066 said:

It’s really not about age. As a 58 year old who has been in the lifestyle for a lot of years now … with a few ‘vanilla’ breaks along the way, it really is all about your attitude - and how you approach others.
Age gives us experience. Experience shows us what people expect from us… and also gives us the behavioural tools and maturity to be unselfish as lovers, Dominants, submissives - wherever we choose to fit into this lifestyle. Be courteous, polite, genuine, approachable - and above all, honest, and you’ll have no problem fitting back in.
You already have the tools - you just have to unlock the toolbox again.
I wish you good luck.

Great advice thanks Dark

[Vi****]

11 hours ago, 0fruity_pebbles said:

I wouldn’t know but some women such as myself prefer mature .. I wouldn’t stress about age much

Noted