Dirty talk

[sh****]

How far can us doms go until the talk actually hurt in your opinion

[ey****]

without wanting to be too obvious

it depends entirely on the individual, their limits, their triggers

and actually... in some cases, they want the verbal to go seemingly hurtful or 'too far' and coming out of that is a purpose of aftercare

[xp****]

I'm not a sub, but from experience, it varies from sub to sub. There isn't a one-size-fits-all approach.

[Deleted Member]

This is based upon each individual, dynamic and scenario I'd imagine.

[Deleted Member]

For me personally, as far as you want, I wouldn't be hurt as long as there was aftercare like the other commented mentioned

[Th****]

12 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

without wanting to be too obvious

it depends entirely on the individual, their limits, their triggers

and actually... in some cases, they want the verbal to go seemingly hurtful or 'too far' and coming out of that is a purpose of aftercare

👆

[DarkArts1066]

It all comes down to personal taste, choice and communication beforehand. Remember though, It is easy to kill a moment with the wrong word or phrase. For example, many women despise the “C” word - but I know at least one woman who prefers it to any other description of her sex organ… and will orgasm under the right circumstances, when it is used in the right context.

[PE****]

That’s why so important that’s why you ask the girl you’re with what words are too offensive to you what don’t you like to be heard or said or what don’t like you to be called because if you don’t do that then you’re sending yourself up for a buck and you bomb that’s gonna explode in your face and not a good one lol

[ma****]

Very good question 🤔. Not sure

[iv****]

That is completely dependent on the kinks and desires of the sub, and is why you should be having extensive conversations around likes and limits prior to any bdsm scene. A good dom should also be reading body language and checking in verbally throughout the scene to make sure the sub is comfortable with everything.

[le****]

Completely different for everyone. These are all important conversations to have with your partners in an open and honest fashion.

[Deleted Member]

Very nice of you to worry about it.

Some people are really good at defending their boundaries and will speak up; but many other people might quite easily slide into discomfort but feel like they can’t speak up and will do things they’re not ok with.

I think the key is to check in from time to time. Dial up a bit, then check in with the person, read their body language, at some point ask if they’re ok. At the end of the session, care for them and use that time to be sure they feel and felt comfortable.

I know that might be a bit frustrating to some people who want things more hardcore, but it’s a more sustainable way to push limits IMO.

And agree on a safe word, it’s easier for people to say it than to talk about feeling uncomfortable.

[jo****]

This is the issue I'm having. Im new to the online lifestyle and I'm trying to figure out how I can go about talking to the women on here and be flirtatious without offending them.

[Wh****]

I believe this side of risks is too little talked about. Obviously the sub is always more at risk of hurt due to things happening in a session, but the dom has to trust the sub to openly state the boundaries as well. I don‘t want to actually be abusive or hurt someone. I couldn‘t forgive myself if I did really hurt someone on the long term especially. So it‘s important to talk about this aspect and having trust going both ways. In my opinion.

[Am****]

It all depends on so much. How the sun is how long you know that person if it just a online talking or if you meet in person. I’m a very dominant man that like dirty/ some people may say degrading talk. My last sub loved it and alway asked me to do it. We wee in a sub/dom relationship and understand I only would say that stuff in the bedroom. Outside she was my rock my everything and she understand it only for sexy times and to make her feel controlled

[ki****]

This is my opinion, which may not be everyone’s opinion. I am a sub. I want to feel like somebody has taken the time to know me. Trust has to be built over time. My boundaries are a lot different in the first conversation than they might be after several weeks or months even. There were things that I would never have dreamed I would ever consent to, that a year into a relationship with a Dom I was begging for. Also, it may not be fair, but you do have to be in tune to subtleties in a change in a subs, attitude or mental state. Being a people pleaser and a submissive it’s sometimes hard to clearly communicate boundaries. And it comes in very softly. Respecting those softly spoken boundaries and taking time to dialogue and understand it more will help build that trust. For example, as it gets closer and closer to a boundary, I might say some thing as subtle as sir, I need help. If that plea for help gets ignored, or glossed over too quickly then I shut down. I’m sure other subs have a unique way of expressing their apprehension. Learn your sub. Also, if she’s not good, at expressing her apprehension, give her a phrase. My plea for help is one that a Dom taught me because I would not expressed my concerns properly and then get very frustrated and hit a brick wall at some point where I was ready to walk away completely.

Don’t short change the time to build trust. The rewards are worth the investment.

[Deleted Member]

It something that always need to be discuss before and after play times it can vary day to day

[PE****]

Dammm it’s sucks be right all the time lol

[PE****]

If she/he/whatever doesn’t feel safe ….or feels they will be judged or mocked if they want to talk and let u in on a kink they just want to be HEARD NOT LISTENED TO…

[ci****]

I like to show incentives (toys/rewards/affection) and take it away until she fulfills her role and pleases me. A real brat won’t always react the way you want her too but that’s the fun of the game. I can either be the one who frustrates you or the best thing that’s ever happened to you (within reason ofc)

[Deleted Member]

Until the safe word is said. During the talk before a safe word should be established and boundaries set for a safe space

[Da****]

Really depends on the Submissive. You can go from light talk to downright degrading if the sub is that type. You have to have conversations with them beforehand. As other people have pointed out, that's what safe words are for.

[el****]

Best advice I can give is using a system like a safe word or I use a color system green means all is good usually isn’t verbalized, yellow means you’re starting to get uncomfortable but not 100% wanting to stop yet, and red is a hard limit and immediately stop and do after care. Each submissive is going to have different limits some May have very little to none and others are going to be full of limits.

[cr****]

What's this about

[Deleted Member]

Has far as you want