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Posted
Do you think that one has to have a Dominant mindset to just lay back and receive pleasure from another that craves giving it?
Posted (edited)

No, I think a lot of vanilla types - particularly menfolk, alas - are lazy or entitled enough to receive without reciprocating, without it being anything to do with dominance.

Edited by Aranhis
Posted
1 hour ago, Aranhis said:

No, I think a lot of vanilla types - particularly menfolk, alas - are lazy or entitled enough to receive without reciprocating, without it being anything to do with dominance.

👆👆👆 That 😒😒

Posted
That's an obvious no.
"Lay back and receive" is passivity. Few Doms are truly passive on more than a very temporary basis. Plenty of subs are.
Dom is different than Sadist. Sub is different than masochist. Dom and sub can both want to give pleasure.
Posted
No. Aren't there times when anyone would enjoy receiving pleasure from a partner who wants to give it to us? I don't give pleasure always expecting reciprocity and don't expect a partner to.
Posted
1 hour ago, Aranhis said:

No, I think a lot of vanilla types - particularly menfolk, alas - are lazy or entitled enough to receive without reciprocating, without it being anything to do with dominance.

Would that sense of entitlement be a step on the path to a Dominant mindset however??

Posted
48 minutes ago, bottommdsub said:

Would that sense of entitlement be a step on the path to a Dominant mindset however??

I would suggest that there are some D-types who might have an entitlement mindset, but that it is not at all inherent. Anybody can have a sense of entitlement, no matter whether they are D, S, both, in-between, or none of the above.

Posted

I believe pillow princesses are like this. 

Wanting to lie back, receive and not give back, or make any effort during the acts/deeds. So I have seen, read and heard anyway and by a few google articles.

Massive no no for me this kind of expectation. And I do not at all associate it with dominance. Dominants aren't lazy (yeah I know I sound mean here), they have a mutual give/take exchange with a partner in a dynamic.

In a normal relationship, regardless of kinky roles that may come up in the bedroom, or general sexual activities, I do not expect anything back if I give it to him. And vice versa, as we always alternate on who gets off unless its a designated night for us both to have some and sleep haha.

Posted
I adore pillow princesses of every type
Posted
1 minute ago, bottommdsub said:

I adore pillow princesses of every type

Each to their own. For me I want someone who has equal effort. You can't always be in a relationship/dynamic where someone only takes and never gives. I need me another's touch quite often.

Posted
7 minutes ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

Each to their own. For me I want someone who has equal effort. You can't always be in a relationship/dynamic where someone only takes and never gives. I need me another's touch quite often.

As you said, to each their own... what gets me off is their pleasure and what goes along with it. Their moans.. .The tight grip of their fingers in my hair. The taste of their orgasm on my lips, in my mouth, down my throat.

Posted
Like the masochist who says 'hit me' to the sadist who says 'no'
Posted
Not really. It’s laziness but then again you are a male sub so probably it’s commun in that kind of set up. “Domme” are used to men behaving that way
Posted
I think that it’s harder to reconcile if your nature is to give, whether you’re dominant or submissive. Anyone who enjoys giving pleasure (I think) feels bad not reciprocating. However in D/s play sometimes the Dom/Domme has to fight the natural urge to reciprocate. In that way, the challenge is to fight your nature even in subtle ways in order to preserve the dynamic.
Posted

it's not necessarily a Dominant mindset - it's a pillow princess mindset, which doesn't have to be D or s or both or either

Posted
12 hours ago, xploring-dfw said:

That's an obvious no.
"Lay back and receive" is passivity. Few Doms are truly passive on more than a very temporary basis. Plenty of subs are.
Dom is different than Sadist. Sub is different than masochist. Dom and sub can both want to give pleasure.

I disagree that it implies passivity, at least in any way other than being the one receiving. Plenty of subs are fairly passive but certainly not all, thankfully, or I'd be bored to tears. 

There are Dom(mes) who enjoy being serviced in this way but there's usually some sort of reciprocity in the dynamic even if it isn't in kind. I could also imagine several scenarios where a Dom(me) could be the one giving pleasure to a cherished thing that belongs to them. There are so many variations and options. 

Posted
14 hours ago, inconceivable said:

No. Aren't there times when anyone would enjoy receiving pleasure from a partner who wants to give it to us? I don't give pleasure always expecting reciprocity and don't expect a partner to.

I agree. There are things I know master loves me doing to him that I would do for him if we were in a vanila relationship.  There are things I love to do for him as he's my master.

 

There are things master does for me at his home because he likes to do things for Mr an there vanila

Posted
Not a chance, anyone can do that. But what's the fun in it?
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

In a worship context, maybe, if a Dom wants to be treated like a (lazy) God. But the act itself is in no way inherently Dominant. It could go either way, or be completely outside of D/s dynamics. What matters is the context of the people in it, how they respond to each other, and the environment, to give it a feeling of whether there is Dominance at play. 

I've had a sub who did something like this for me, but it wasn't as interesting in comparison with the other things we shared, at least not at the time we tried it out. I'd give it another chance in an established dynamic, but I do prefer to have a more active role, I'm not one to lay back and relax all too quickly.

Posted

One aspect that hasn't been explored is that S&M activities can often reverse the giver/receiver dynamic for Sadists and Masochists vs sexual and service aspects of D/s relationships (assuming the roles between the different play types have a stereotypical correspondance). Toys like whips are necessarily force multipliers; that's the whole point as tools of traditional (non-sexualized) punishment or as weapons. So the Sadist is like flicking their wrist and receiving very little sensation to give the masochist a lot. If the sadist is even working up a sweat, the masochist is getting maximum pain/pleasure.

 

You could argue that the sadist actually craves the auditory and visual feedback of the masochist's reactions. You could make the same argument about service or "unreciprocated" sex acts for submissives, though. Even performative nonchalance could be kinky. For any consensual relationship dynamic, you should try to understand what you are bringing. Even if it doesn't seem like a real benefit to you, your partner may feel completely differently.

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