Gay guys and Femdom

[Bottle555]

I'm a gay man but I'm totally turned on by Femdom scenarios and CFNM. The woman dominating and humiliating a good-looking guy.

I've hardly ever met anyone similarly interested. Most gay guys seem completely turned off by the idea.

Looking through all the topics on this site, there's nothing remotely like this. If I Google the subject, all I get is what's called "Sissy feminization" and "small dick ***" – neither of which interest me.

Looking at commercial Femdom sites, they're aimed pretty much exclusively at straight men (not surprisingly), which means that it's the women who are sexualized and the focus of the site. The guys are little more than "props". Since the important thing for me is that the men are attractive (OK, maybe just as sexualized and objectified) there's very little that appeals.

Considering the vast amount of sexual material, porn and specialized fetishes available on the web, it's a bit worrying. I feel like part of a niche within a niche within a niche, and I'm starting to wonder if there's anyone else out there with similar interests?

[Th****]

I *know* I've seen another gay/homoflexible man discuss pretty much exactly what you described. No ***d fem, sissy or sph involved.

I'm pretty sure it was someone I ran across on Fetlife though. Are you on that site as well?

[hrafnblod]

Im pansexual, and im wondering if youre describing one of my kinks. Ofc, for me, the femdom also has to be attractive. One of my biggest fantasies is to find a femdom (or any D, really) that gets off on using other men on me/pimping me out to guys, and getting together with other D's to share me in the bedroom, or to have fun pitching their sub guys against each other in D/s acts (mainly sexual).

I am also into feminisation and cnc aspects too though

[No****]

I'm not flashy with big words or what not but I like your style and I can dig it

[welshslaveboy]

I get this, even though I’m not gay, I get massively turned on seeing a guy getting dominated, and love being dominated by both males and females. Agree on the attractive thing as well, you see some femdom done on not very nice looking guys, so much so that I just think “put a fucking mask on it for gods sake” 😂😂😂

[Bottle555]

20 hours ago, ThaliaVirago said:

I *know* I've seen another gay/homoflexible man discuss pretty much exactly what you described. No ***d fem, sissy or sph involved.

I'm pretty sure it was someone I ran across on Fetlife though. Are you on that site as well?

Thanks. I didn't know Fetlife but I've found the Gay Men Femdom group, so a really big Thank You!

[Bottle555]

55 minutes ago, welshslaveboy said:

I get this, even though I’m not gay, I get massively turned on seeing a guy getting dominated, and love being dominated by both males and females. Agree on the attractive thing as well, you see some femdom done on not very nice looking guys, so much so that I just think “put a fucking mask on it for gods sake” 😂😂😂

Haha. You're right, although many male subs on commercial sites wear hoods anyway. Maybe a good thing after all?

[ey****]

it is one of the things which does often seem an oversight - but I think the problems are simple

at pretty much all levels, yeah, the focus is on the Domme

that the bigger proportion of buyers is cis het males

but the men in Femdom.... I won't say are a problem, because a lot are great.  But, there's a lot who won't show face.  And a lot who do show face, or older.

It's not something that men can really make much *** from (even if it's not impossible) so most of the better-looking men in porn do more conventional stuff - there's guys I can think of whom being seen as a submissive would hurt their 'brand' 

[Bottle555]

Yes, you're right.

It's also basic market ***s. There doesn't seem to be a big enough target audience to justify splashing out the extra *** persuading good-looking models to perform in femdom-themed stuff.

Since it's largely a male fantasy, we have to suspend disbelief. The supposed dom is rarely really in charge – she's more often then not acting out the sub's fantasy. I suspect many of the male participants in femdom scenarios are willing to appear for expenses, if not for free.

I know I'm over-generalising and, of course, their are genuinely dominant women, but I'm talking about standard commercial sites.

 

[ey****]

29 minutes ago, Bottle555 said:

I suspect many of the male participants in femdom scenarios are willing to appear for expenses, if not for free.

ahem

most *pay* to be there.

[Bottle555]

I suspected so. I didn't want to speculate, haha.

[welshslaveboy]

Yeah and obviously with porn they are perfect scenarios as well, which directly appeal to the target audience. I find it a lot more of a turn on watching genuine amateurs in real life scenarios, few and far between though!

[ey****]

5 hours ago, welshslaveboy said:

Yeah and obviously with porn they are perfect scenarios as well, which directly appeal to the target audience. I find it a lot more of a turn on watching genuine amateurs in real life scenarios, few and far between though!

not really few and far between

just go to a fetish club, any fetish club, and wait/watch by the play area 

[Bottle555]

I'm sure, but the net is for those who don't have regular access to fetish clubs. And the idea of a fetish site is you can instantly connect with your own specific turn-on. I've discovered that almost everyone has a sexuality as unique as a fingerprint.

The thing is we all have such ridiculously individual tastes. F'rinstance,I used to hang about in pretty heavy gay clubs – but if you enjoy SM but are not into leather or hairy bears, you're on your own.

Perhaps we've been spoiled by the way our imaginations have been encouraged to expand beyond the expectations of the real world?

Maybe AI will provide satisfaction for everyone? Visually, at least.

"Alexa, show me Richard Nixon in a schoolgirl uniform getting fisted by an abnormally large turtle."

 

[ey****]

6 hours ago, Bottle555 said:

Perhaps we've been spoiled by the way our imaginations have been encouraged to expand beyond the expectations of the real world?

 

I think voyaging into the kink world to any degree does have the awe of "anything is possible" - and then the disbelief that some things are, for whatever reason, more difficult than we feel things could be

6 hours ago, Bottle555 said:

Maybe AI will provide satisfaction for everyone? Visually, at least.

there's potential - but the cost to access AI is likely to go up, rather than down - unless you have the means to run locally (which, I guess more people will if there's efforts for learning - it'll just take a long time) and the patience to learn prompt engineering.  

[Sammy94u]

The Dungeon I am a member of has quite a Bit of Femdomme. It's pretty hot. We also have quite a lot of Trans folk in our group. I myself dress in drag when I am domming. I used to do Drag as a performance in more vanilla settings. Now I really enjoy it during play settings. 

I love watching a Femdomme use a strap on with her Sub. That's really hot. 

[LadyV]

I'm a D-type chick who has played with gay dudes before. It's fun cause the focus is on the kinks themselves and I don't have to deal with some guy trying to angle for sex. I like kink far more than sex so it worked out great for me. 

 

I also feel your struggle on all the FemDom stuff that's out there literally orbiting cishet men. As a queer woman, I hate it. I hate that nearly everything about female dominance in popular mainstream media is wrapped around catering to cishet men and their completely male-centric and male-servicing kinks and fantasies.

 

I blame FemDom porn especially for this. It's created so many men who all expect such a formulaic cishet F/m experience centered around cishet male sub fetishes mostly involving boring cock cages and having their assholes serviced. 

[Th****]

2 hours ago, LadyV said:

I'm a D-type chick who has played with gay dudes before. It's fun cause the focus is on the kinks themselves and I don't have to deal with some guy trying to angle for sex. I like kink far more than sex so it worked out great for me. 

 

I also feel your struggle on all the FemDom stuff that's out there literally orbiting cishet men. As a queer woman, I hate it. I hate that nearly everything about female dominance in popular mainstream media is wrapped around catering to cishet men and their completely male-centric and male-servicing kinks and fantasies.

 

I blame FemDom porn especially for this. It's created so many men who all expect such a formulaic cishet F/m experience centered around cishet male sub fetishes mostly involving boring cock cages and having their assholes serviced. 

💯 👏👏👏 📢📢📢

[welshslaveboy]

It's such a complex thing isnt it? Like, myself, i consider myself straight, but get off on seeing males dominated, and am seriously turned on my being dominated by males as well. Although ive no interest in having sex with males, but just love the idea of being dominated. The same goes for porn, its complex.

[Bottle555]

On 11/28/2023 at 10:51 PM, welshslaveboy said:

It's such a complex thing isnt it? Like, myself, i consider myself straight, but get off on seeing males dominated, and am seriously turned on my being dominated by males as well. Although ive no interest in having sex with males, but just love the idea of being dominated. The same goes for porn, its complex.

It is. There's no logic to it at all. I'm pretty much the opposite –100% gay but females dominating males is my biggest turn on. Gay SM comes nowhere near. Our sexualities seem as individual as fingerprints.

[Mi****]

As a femboy femdom. I feel like a solution here😆

[Th****]

24 minutes ago, MissMercy said:

As a femboy femdom. I feel like a solution here😆

Another option at least. So many people seem to be so attached to those boxes. 📦😄

[Deleted Member]

I haven't had many gay experiences in my life (4 men) but have had dominant spouses and love it. My current girlfriend is very dominant and treats me like I'm a slut in bed. She has been trying to convince me I'm gay. Im starting to think she's right