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Who's more dominant?


Mr****

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Posted
As a dom myself, I've always been curious as to who people consider to be more dominant, men or woman?

I don't mean the percentage of dominants who are men or women.
I mea, are men orwomenn considered to be more strict/harsher/meaner when it comes to specific areas of BDSM such as degradation, humiliatio, and inducing pain.

What's the most dominant thing that's happened to you by a dom?
What's to most degrading or humiliating thing that a dom has done to you?

I'd love to pick people's mind on this to find out more.
Posted
I think that is a case by case thing as it really comes down to the person as to how dominant they really are. Although I have come across some dominants that weren’t actually dominant just controlling and that makes for a horrible dominant.
Posted
Interesting question. I would assume it's men due to greater male variability, men tend to make up the extreme ends of spectrums more commonly than women.
Posted
I’d have to say men…as a woman I was taught all my life to be subservient to men, my parents religion emphasized this by not allowing women to speak in church & not allowing women to wear pants or cut their hair or wear makeup & as a young girl my own mother would tell me that a good woman will be a slave to her husband…for me it was ingrained in my psyche & I believe it started my submissive journey…also I’m in a position of authority now with my job & being a sub allows me to turn off my brain & do as I’m told which is heaven 👍🏻
Posted
I agree with MJ. In my opinion it's always been women that are more submissive ones. Males are more dominant
Posted
I don't think it's genderised to be honest and very much driven by the individual and their style regardless of their gender.
.
I also think any more general perceptions are probably skewed by the fact there are many men who call themselves dominants but actually aren't and are either abusive or bullies - whereas women who are dominants (disregarding the scammers/OF crowd) have usually put some thought and research into their dominance to the point they have an understanding of it, that many men don't.
Posted
Also the general perception is skewed by the stereotype that sadly still exists for some, of the "little wife at home there to do everything for their husband" of the 1950s etc
Posted

like a lot of things in kink

it's not a competition 

(equally - "how dominant are you?" or "how submissive are you?" is not a linear question scaled from 1 to 10) 

Posted
I can’t agree with the comments so far! I believe women are not only more dominant than male dons, but women are far better in a dominant role. They are far more considerate, compassionate and understanding than men. They typically take more time to know how to be a compatible domme than most men do. And if punishment is part of the ritual, women understand and adhere to limits in far greater detail than most males. Sexual bias obviously determines which will be your partner, but I would give the nod to the female domme near 100% of the time.😇
Posted
Men. Woman pretend to be dominant. The are Submissive by nature. Men allow their dominance. Much like how men allow themselves to be dominated.As a large man, I can't take a "tough" woman seriously. If you couldn't beat me up physically, I could never bow down.
Posted
Well it's mostly psychological @Anjin1984 I would expect that a dominant woman wouldn't bow down to you either in sex, unless she allows it. So it's a bit limited to think in terms of strength.
Posted
About OP's question, I think it has got nothing to do with someone's gender but in practice society tends to make women less dominant on average. That shouldn't apply to any individual though.
Posted
14 minutes ago, Anjin1984 said:
Men. Woman pretend to be dominant. The are Submissive by nature. Men allow their dominance. Much like how men allow themselves to be dominated.As a large man, I can't take a "tough" woman seriously. If you couldn't beat me up physically, I could never bow down.

Sorry but I just heard the 1950s called and want their statement back!!
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Dominance has nothing to do with physicality in the sense of D/s, and is more nuanced and about how people conduct themselves - it certainly isn't about whether they could beat you up.

Posted
1 hour ago, Anjin1984 said:
Men. Woman pretend to be dominant. The are Submissive by nature. Men allow their dominance. Much like how men allow themselves to be dominated.As a large man, I can't take a "tough" woman seriously. If you couldn't beat me up physically, I could never bow down.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Posted
2 hours ago, Anjin1984 said:
Men. Woman pretend to be dominant. The are Submissive by nature. Men allow their dominance. Much like how men allow themselves to be dominated.As a large man, I can't take a "tough" woman seriously. If you couldn't beat me up physically, I could never bow down.

I actually think you have no proper clue of the D/s lifestyle although your profile says you’re an experienced dom.
It also says if a lady has a girlfriend and they don’t know how to “eat it” properly then they should sought you out😂
Get a grip ffs

Posted

I'm a male Dom, and while I could come on here and stroke my own ego by saying men are more dominant, or that dominance is something quantifiable, that's not how I think.

What does it mean to be more or less of a Dom? Not strength, I'd say, like stated here earlier. I think it's not the ability to overpower someone, but the ability to make someone want to be overpowered by you. Even then, it's not going to be something you can measure, after all, what makes one person want to submit won't work for the next automatically. There's a huge element of compatibility and trust.

The things that make a Dom a Dom does factor in skills, but in the end it's going to be about their unique relationship to the subs they interact with, which doesn't have to be physically overpowering for everyone. With so many flavours, there's no one right way, and it's certainly not dependent on whether you're a man or a woman.

Society does encourage men to aspire towards dominance and it does encourage women to accept submissive roles in social structures, but that says nothing about any inherent traits that would indicate ability to dominate someone.

Posted
2 hours ago, Anjin1984 said:
Men. Woman pretend to be dominant. The are Submissive by nature. Men allow their dominance. Much like how men allow themselves to be dominated.As a large man, I can't take a "tough" woman seriously. If you couldn't beat me up physically, I could never bow down.

I doubt you even know what it real is to be dominant as women are not submissive by nature get out of the dark ages and realize dominance/submission is not gender specific and if you think it is you don’t truly understand it so get a grip and realize it’s not the 1930’s

Posted
12 minutes ago, Nocturne said:

I'm a male Dom, and while I could come on here and stroke my own ego by saying men are more dominant, or that dominance is something quantifiable, that's not how I think.

What does it mean to be more or less of a Dom? Not strength, I'd say, like stated here earlier. I think it's not the ability to overpower someone, but the ability to make someone want to be overpowered by you. Even then, it's not going to be something you can measure, after all, what makes one person want to submit won't work for the next automatically. There's a huge element of compatibility and trust.

The things that make a Dom a Dom does factor in skills, but in the end it's going to be about their unique relationship to the subs they interact with, which doesn't have to be physically overpowering for everyone. With so many flavours, there's no one right way, and it's certainly not dependent on whether you're a man or a woman.

Society does encourage men to aspire towards dominance and it does encourage women to accept submissive roles in social structures, but that says nothing about any inherent traits that would indicate ability to dominate someone.

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Posted
10 minutes ago, Sassy83 said:

I doubt you even know what it real is to be dominant as women are not submissive by nature get out of the dark ages and realize dominance/submission is not gender specific and if you think it is you don’t truly understand it so get a grip and realize it’s not the 1930’s

👌🏻👌🏻

Posted

I haven't had enough dealings with people yet to be able to give a really educated answer, and can only reflect on my own very limited experience. What I tend to find a lot is that there are two types of doms or prospective doms that I have encountered the most: on one hand, hard doms that want to control my every moment, down to what a wear, and then guys who start off claiming to be dominant only for it to be glaringly apparent they are, in fact, submissive or at least switches, a few weeks down the line.  I must say I have come across more of the latter group- I think perhaps my age tends to attract submissive men and they might pretend to be doms just to get in, hoping they will eventually get me to switch for them ( I won't). Some have turned into wonderful friends though, so not really a complaint, more of an observation. I lack experience with dominant women so have nothing to go by in respect of them. From what I have been told, many (not all) can be a lot harder and more dominant than men because men submit harder, for example they are willing to pay to serve, which women subs just never need to do. Interesting topic this one. 

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