Request for advice

[Deleted Member]

Hey everybody. Happy to meet you all.
I just want to introduce myself and tell you the reason why I am here.
I am a mature metal head (50 solar orbits and counting), I have a few kinks but not the one that brings me here today.
Backstory to my... unusual situation...:
My job brings me into contact with a lot of refugees, some of them bring translators along, mostly family members who speak the language better. This way, I met a charming middle eastern lady in her mid 30s a few weeks back. She came as a translator for her ***. We immediately connected because she was wearing a metal t-shirt and when I asked conversationally if she just liked the design or actually knew the band, she said she was a massive metal fan.
I was delighted to meet a non-european metal fan and we got talking. One thing let to another and we went to a local metal bar together.
During the course of the evening, we chatted about this and that until she looked at me and asked me if she could ask something more personal.
I had expected her to ask about my opinion on Islam, or the conflict between Israel and Palestine, but what she asked was, if I could imagine giving her a good whipping. No alcohol or *** involved, she was serious.
I am at a complete loss how to handle that. My main concerns are:
1. Would it be ethical since this arose originally from a professional context
2. If we decide to go through with it, I *** I could botch the experience because I have absolutely no idea how to handle a whip, belt or cane and am afraid to cause actual harm.

Any and all advice is appreciated, thanks in advance!

[Deleted Member]

Ethically it would depend greatly on what you do for work. Not sure that's something you can/should/would get into publicly here, but it would have a huge impact on the ethics.

As to the experience, be honest. Of you want to. Tell her you'd like to but it isn't something you've done before.

The bigger issue is that you seem to be looking for reasons not to. If you don't want to do it, just say it's not something you're interested in.

[DivineMyst]

Let her guide you, let her be your muse, there are no performance expectations, let her tell you how hard to strike, go shopping together, let her choose what you use.
If you are worried about aim practice on a balloon, swish in the air a few times to loosen up your arm , get the feel of what you will use before you use it. Maybe go for simple things first, a wooden spoon . Even flicking a tea towel as you want it to flick off the skin not impact it too deeply . Hope this helps

[St****]

I saw appreciate the realization of the *** that you may overdo it without the experience of using a whip. It is a real chance for someone to get injured. Perhaps you have an opening to start smaller and do some learning together. And search out your local groups and see if there is some classes that you may be able to take to learn from experts.

[Deleted Member]

Thanhkl you for the replies everybody. I think going shopping together is an excellent idea. Let's see where it leads.

[CopperKnob]

Not only would you need to consider the ethics and morals of becoming involved with someone who is essentially a client but I'd suggest that you'd also need to be aware of any pre existing PTSD dependent upon the country of origin and any trauma experienced. Given that they're claiming to be refugees, there is sure to be something that physical harm regardless of the situation in the here and now will likely bring about. I'd be asking a lot of questions of her particularly around her motivation. It's a particularly strange request from someone you appear to have known for a few hours at most.

[Msfergz]

An interesting dilemma...
Firstly from a professional sense do you have any morality clause in contract. While this doesn't mean it's immoral but worth a consideration.
Secondly being involved with client or client family, what's the policy. Would you have to perhaps transfer them if accepted. Thirdly are you comfortable, is it ethical in your own values.

There is nothing wrong and actually praise how upfront she was about her needs, however the way you've described it as a mix of conversation with her current situation. As a sub and learning the hard way from using this as a way to cope with situation. It could be negative for both.

I would suggest you slow it down. Understand her more before jump to whipping. If you do get physical then keep to light hand spanks . Be honest with her and explain new territory for you too. You'll need to understand and agree aftercare/safewords.

Sorry not as simple as just whipping someone

[sardonicus87]

If she's no longer a client and won't be a client in the future, I don't really see any issue with that, especially since it isn't like you used your position to coerce her into a date.
.
As to the whipping, just be honest about not having experience. If she's still interested after that and you're interested, see if she can teach you or you can find someone with experience to teach you.

[Deleted Member]

Thanks again for all the responses and advice. There are no professional constraints, I checked with my superiors. @CopperKnobThat's a very valid point. Possible PTSD might be an issue. We see each other again on the weekend, but just for dinner. Let's see what the future brings.

[eR****]

Interesting