OCD

[SirsLilMousey]

Hey everyone, 

To the Subs of the forum do any of you have experience with OCD?

How does your Dom help you manage?

Or if you're a Dom how do you help your Sub manage? 

 

I'm asking because I'm currently in the midst of an OCD flare up and trying to explore BDSM and OCD on Google is not giving me the kind of advice I'm looking for. 

 

(Sir is currently sleeping but I will be talking to him about it in an hour or two once he's awake) 

 

I am in therapy but she's currently off for another 2/3+ weeks due to the Easter holidays.  (My OCD is not something that has come up in our dynamic yet, we've been together for 2 years, he is aware of my high stress and my anxiety but my anxiety has not been so bad that it has retriggered my OCD since we've been together. 

 

My last flare up was a few months before we got together and quite frankly I thought I was over with and would not be that stressed again so didn't mention it. When he and I met I was a fragile thing, suicidal etc which he was aware of I've come along way since then)

 

Thanks in advance 🧡

[he****]

Hey girl trust me I know how hard it is I have a couple mental health issues.

[ra****]

I have had ocd but I broke it

[Da****]

YES!

[Wasp2017]

There is often a trigger for ocd recurrence and the management should be the same whether sub or not. If a dom cannot be helpful or supportive is it a useful relationship?

[Starseed-1111]

Yes to the max lol

[br****]

These things flare up but am sure you will get it under control again. Main thing is to talk about it so you can try to address it together and safely.

[Co****]

Yes I do.. what do you want to know about it

[al****]

One of my longer term subs has OCD. She tries a lot of stuff but things like CBT didn’t work. Reassurance, no judgement and medication as well as time and banning the word ‘sorry’ made a hell of a difference. You’re not alone out there. X

[Li****]

Ya

[Fo****]

ChatGPT. But don’t mention BDSM, instead frame your questions in terms of any vanilla relationship and transfer core concepts.

[fe****]

I dont have ocd but i know it can show itself in many ways. Try letting him know about it and how its affecting you. And give him ideas about what he could do for you to make you feel better. Next time it happens make sure to talk to him. Not sure what would help but telling him to hold you, to breath deep together, and to tell you everything will be okay sound like it could be a start. But definitely number one advice for most things in life is communication and have an action plan in place, safe word, ect. And try to think about things that he could do that could help you out

[Ac****]

You can also call 988 for someone to talk to if you need it. They may also be able to give you some coping strategies.
Best of luck, your not alone, people want to help you. It's good that you're reaching out

[Sh****]

I can’t speak to OCD, but having been diagnosed with clinical depression in the past, I can say I think you’re on the right path. Being open and honest with your partner is a great sign that you have a trusting dynamic. I’m sure your Sir will support you through things, sorry if this isn’t all that helpful. 

[Deleted Member]

Hang in there girl. I lost my dad to ***, so please don’t do anything like that. I suffer from anxiety panic disorder and depression and other physical ailments, but if your man loves you then he will understand and help. Good luck! God bless.

[Sm****]

I’ve dealt with it all my life - somethings I can ignore or let go and then there are other things that almost cause me physical *** or irritation until it’s fixed. It’s exhausting honestly

[ra****]

if youre talking about obsessive compulsive disorder, yes. its sometimes very frustrating as i cant do things because it will mess with the flow i was expecting or that its something i cant imagine myself doing but having an internal battle of wanting to try many things.

[Ar****]

I have ocd (and a bunch of other stuff) but I'm on the dom side. Here's a few things I think about: whether my ocd is something which would hinder or sometimes even motivate a scene (I have touches of moral ocd so it can be really hard for me to dom because of thinking about being a bad person. On the other hand, service topping can be a lot of fun and also reassuring), what my hold on coping mechanisms is (both self-managed and what my partner is willing/able to help with), and having fallback plans for stuff going sideways. It's very good you're going to talk to your dom, and if you want to talk more about ocd and kink experiences feel free to dm me!

[ce****]

I would be looking to my dom (if I had one lol) for lots of communication, love and support. I personally think humour is the best medicine so if we can find a way to laugh about things that shifts stuck energy and makes things feel better. Obviously avoid any kind of punishment or ***, no shaming and I would work on making yourself feel as safe as possible.

Advice for you now, look at somatic work to regulate your nervous system. Breathwork, tapping and somatic movement are all excellent. YouTube is your friend or I have favourites I can recommend too.

Buy a journal and start writing about your OCD. How do you feel when you do the rituals? Before, during and after. Really dive in. These disordered behaviours carry messages of only we would listen, it’s up to us to open up to what that message might be. Spoiler- disordered behaviour often comes about through internalised shame so start there. What is your deepest darkest secret? Why? Keep digging into that. I probably have a bunch of stuff that can help you if you want to dm.

For reference, I have body focused repetitive behaviours and started pulling my hair out when I was 12. Hair pulling has woeful recovery rates and I won’t ever say I’m recovered but the thing that helped me enormously with this and with addictions to alcohol and *** was getting to the root of my shame. It sounds so cliche but learning to love and accept yourself for who and what you are is what it’s all about. Hugs ❤️

[bi****]

just talk to him, if it's been 2 yrs, he BETTER be understanding lol

[ir****]

I’m a switch and have a bit of OCD as well as a bit of BPD a lot of ADHD and whatever else. Never got diagnosed with anything until I was 30. Main thing for me is I have autism and it has lead to everything else. Catastrophizing is my biggest struggle. I also have severe trigeminal neuralgia (extremely ***ful nerve problem) which is now cured for now. I grew up having a low *** tolerance but I think the years with TN have made me a mashocist now as I used to hate *** and now crave being spanked like super severely it’s nuts. I’ve always had a spanking fetish though which makes sense but only as a top. Now I want both. Anyone relate of have any thoughts on this? Thank you

[Th****]

I actually have all three.OCD ADHD and bipolar type 1 with psychotic episodes

[Deleted Member]

I use my OCD to read and focus on knowledge and try to use that to better myself rather than amplify my hurts or problems and to create new habits that are positive for me. LUCK Labor Under Correct Knowledge

[Deleted Member]

Diet especially vegetarian can have a massive effect on your mind. Lots of chemicals sugar and the insulin spikes has crazy effects on dopamine levels as well as food coloring.

[Ro****]

Talk to them. Be honest to the point of transparency. Sadly, If they are not supportive, then you may need to look elsewhere for the support needed. Years ago I was in a committed relationship with bipolar depression issues with some OCD in the mix. It turned bad when I was struggling and found myself unsupported when I needed it most. It's better to cut and seek those willing to support your emotional well being.