Romance?!

[me****]

So I’m new to this lifestyle. When you are “owned” does the owner have to be less affectionate (physically, verbally and mentally) towards the owned? I’m talking to a guy who gives me no affection whatsoever and I follow all his rules, requests and requirements but he talks to me like I’m one of his “bros”. He never says he wants me, misses me nothing of that sort but he expects me to shower him with attention (and he has even hinted at me financially helping him) but doesn’t give me an ounce back or any kind of attention.

Is this the normal dynamic of this kind of relationship? Again this is my first time being in this kind of relationship so I’m not entirely sure what expectations are needed.

Thank you for all your comments and advice!

[de****]

No thats abusive thats not normal. Bottom line u clearly arent okay with it

[NowIAmTheMaster]

Was this behaviour from him what you agreed upon when you formed the dynamic? If not, very abnormal, emotionally abusive, end it immediately

[je****]

I would say “owning” someone does not mean you treat them like a slave unless you set that as a parameter. To me it’s more a loving relationship where you would obey my sexual demands and in a sub role BUT in return I care for you and with words and deeds would show love.

It’s hard to explain in words but talk to the guy. Communication is key.

[Kinkymeow1965]

Dear Mermaid what you described sounds like a scammer to me. ANY member that even hints at receiving *** or any kind of financial assistance of any kind needs to be reported and blocked

[ni****]

No definitely not at all correct or even more important.... Loving

[th****]

Every dynamic should be agreed upon. Some Doms/owners don't want to give affection (that's the enjoyment for them) and some Subs/owned like the ***. But this is usually not a full time relationship, as everyone needs affection. Even Doms.

The financial part is a whole other story. Sounds like a manipulative person taking advantage of subs. Again, unless you agreed to it.

Bottom line is, never do anything you aren't comfortable with. Love you first, even if you're a sub/owned.

[Mr****]

Like everyone else said sounds very sketchy and abusive. If you’re not comfortable with it and you want to salvage the relationship you should amend your terms as a hard limit. If they are not receptive to this than you should leave the dynamic.

[Pa****]

Love on yaself babygirl, stop questioning should this happen and be clear on your boundaries...play your role but don't be dumb respectfully 🫶🏾

[Deleted Member]

If you are not enjoying the experience and it's out of the boundaries of what you desire, you should put yourself back into the pool and find someone that fits your desires more. I would wager the person is a scammer

[ca****]

Oh no babe no.. unless you've established that behavior as part of the relationship kinda sounds like a red flag to me :c

[Ma****]

Dump the bum.

Don't get fooled.

Kick him to the curb, that's the type of user and ***r that gets in the stuff for the wrong reasons.

Don't be a fool

[pi****]

Sounds like he is a Narcissist

[tu****]

I empathize.

[dj****]

Sounds like he's being a dick and trying to use

[Co****]

Maestroinferno is right. Kick his ass to the curb. He is not dominant he is just a user and ***r. Whatever you do don’t give this douche nozzle any ***. He is s poser. Real Doms care about their submissives. They take control when you are together but they still should be providing aftercare. If they are not, they are only thinking of themselves and you can do much better. They will end up hurting you if you stay with them be it emotionally if not physically.

[Lo****]

Hi. There is no 'right' behaviour for a dynamic and it all depends on what you are wanting. Some people love a cold harsh master and some people need more affection. I would say that a decent D/s dynamic requires a hella lot of negotiation though and you are allowed to ask for your needs to be met. If you are not having those kind of negotiations and your dom is overrudung you when you try to talk about it. That is a red flag and you should be getting out of there.

[ka****]

Screw that guy. I agree he sounds like a narcissist. If you want an owner that gives you affection/attention my DMs are always open 😂😘
Sorry that happened to u!

[Su****]

1 hour ago, captain_nemoe said:

Oh no babe no.. unless you've established that behavior as part of the relationship kinda sounds like a red flag to me :c

Huuuuge red.. big hug to you girl..

[El****]

Nope, he should be giving you just as much, if not more attention. Sounds like a bad partner at best or someone who uses people but does not care about their needs at worst.

[wa****]

That’s called a user. Not a Dom

[Co****]

Any relationship needs to satisfy the needs of all those within it, otherwise someone isn’t being related too (or being related too in an unwelcome way…case in point).
That, for me, is fundamental and precedes the type of relationship. If you wrote that you liked the fact that he treats you that way, then great!, but you are questioning it so your needs aren’t being met. Move on, there’s better out there for you and frankly the situation you describe I suspect will only get worse, not better 😘

[da****]

There's owned time and there's relationship time....

[Deleted Member]

This doesn't sound healthy. With ownership comes responsibility, a duty of care. Simply put if you don't look after your toys they will break. I think if you are here asking this question then you know something is not right. If you want to chat further then message me. Take care, if it doesn't feel right then get out

[me****]

Thank you all for all the advice!!!!! You all are phenomenal! I’ve never done this before and honestly, rules were never fully talked about (outside of me being able to sleep with others due to he currently lives in Charlotte nc that he must approve of, and after I’m home from work, I’m at his beck and call for sexual favors.) like you guys have told me about. These will be getting discussed today! We will see how he takes it! I really appreciate each and everyone of yall giving me your opinions and advice :)