Romance?!

[sp****]

As a dom and psychology lover myself. Was he more reserved before he became your owner or after? If he was always like that. Less of a red flag. For sure dump him if he started detaching after ownership. Thats love bombing.

[Br****]

Yeah sounds to me like a narcicist who lives the lifestyle by name but not by actual codes.

[fr****]

I learned a lot, the hard way. My best advice to you is to not invest unless they are willing to meet. There’s a huge amount of scammers around.

[Ad****]

You are not a fool, just tell him this is not what you are looking for and end. Wish the best of luck

[Ot****]

Yeah that isn’t being owned that’s being neglected!

[Deleted Member]

While this can be a kink, it is by no means the norm. If you're not happy in the relationship, that's what matters. If you like him, talk with him. If you don't like any part of this relationship, end it and move on. There's plenty more out there. To quote The Bard, "There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

[pe****]

No this is NOT normal. Its toxic. You need to end the dynamic and block him. Hes taking advantage of you under the disguise of a Dominant. If you are on Facebook, I highly highly recommend you join submissive communities to help you find a healthy D/s dynamic. No offense to this site, but so many messages from wannabe posing Dom's that arent. You will get more support in those groups bout red flag behavior of what you are describing. What you are describing is NOT Dom behavior. It's predatory. Your Dom is not being responsible for you emotionally, mentally or physically. YOUR Dom is responsible for you. You must be able to 100% trust him with your life. Most truly are not ready for that type of resonsibilty when they take on a submissive. I personally would end that dynamic immediately. It's already affecting you emotionally in a negative way. Your dynamic should always affect you in a positive way. How long did you vet this person for before you moved into a dynamic? Vetting is extremely important. I spend many many months vetting. In vetting you are equals. You take your time getting to know the person. You talk about limits, you negotiate for what you will and will not do. Hope this helps. ~Hugs~

[QXX666]

Why did you chose him or how you end up being his “sub”?

[CopperKnob]

Unless you're wanting an online relationship only, I'd question why you're responding favourably to his 'requests' at all?
If you aren't getting anything from the 'relationship' why be in it ?
Sounds like one of the people that act out D/s online and get bored after a few weeks before blocking and moving on to the next
.
A D/s relationship isn't any different than any other relationship, you both come with your wants and needs which will develop over time, sometimes there are compromises to be made. If you aren't happy, the relationship ends.

[Deleted Member]

Dump his ass. He doesn't deserve you. He is a walking red flag and you deserve better

[Deleted Member]

Dumo him immediately! I am a newbie as well but that doesn’t sound good at all. Run in the opposite direction as much as you can

[Ju****]

Uh, NO! To me, the way I do it with my fianceé, is she's owned. Mine. Not just my sub, but MINE. And I lavish on praise and affection. She's my one.

Before you were owned, what was your dynamic like? Was there lots of affection? If so, was the only change your being owned?

[Ev****]

That’s a person who wants to control you. A dom should still be loving… but strict. You’re not in a dom/sub relationship right now. It’s a user/usee.

[va****]

Absolutely not. I've been a dominant for many years. This is not typical behavior for a dominant. There are many levels for the role of dominant/ submissive. Dump this idiot for the simple reason that he gives the lifestyle a bad reputation and u deserve to be shown affection, caring, attention. Don't let this fool give you the wrong idea what this lifestyle is all about.!!!

[zi****]

Hi. the rules are the same as in any relationship. Mutual respect is the basis and taking into account the needs of the other person. in this case, the submissive deals the cards. At the beginning you should always define the scope of the relationship, what you expect and what you want. The dominant person is even obliged to follow this and get to know the submissive person. Once you build a relationship between you on this basis, the dominant person may start proposing new things for you and pushing previously established boundaries. But when you build the right relationship, you will want it to evolve.

[Pe****]

No. Owners love their slaves or at least like them.

[Th****]

Nope. Ditch him, that’s not right

[Deleted Member]

That's bulls**
Dump him, he's taking advantage of you to say the least

[al****]

I agree with what everyone else said. Because you mentioned being new to the lifestyle, I wonder if you two discussed the dynamic expectations? Always a good idea to do so as each person has a very different outlook on what this means to them, regardless even if things were set at the start, any person should be able to freely say they realized they are not getting what they need/redefine what they need. If the other person doesn't respect that, then they are not worth your time.

[Hy****]

Yeah I’m in agreement. He does sound like a narcissist, or at least somebody who has enough avoidant attachment to be schizoid.

There may be some people who like this, but it sounds like he’s treating you as a copy of himself, rather than you as a person. Power without affection isn’t a more complete power, and men who think that it is usually aren’t very good men.

[Hy****]

Women do it too, they are on here often self-avowed findommes.  There’s been a lot of complaining about their banning, but that was more to fight scammers. But it’s the same sort of sociopathic behavior, just manifests differently due to attention demands.

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely not how that type of relationship should go. There’s definitely different dynamics that people have, and each I believe is unique. But make no mistake, regardless of if you’re the sub or dom in the relationship you still have the freedom to choose what type of dynamic you’re looking for. What this relationship sounds like however, is a narcissist taking advantage of the situation. I’d look elsewhere for your kink needs, respectfully.

[DL****]

Ownership doesn’t = less, ownership is taking on more responsibility which includes the things you listed that you’re not getting.

[Tr****]

My first impulse when i hear financial assistance is he's using you, however if you have feelings for him and want reciprotion you need to speak up, even if you *** losing him in this dynamic, every individual is responsible for speaking the truth of how they feel

[wo****]

I agree with @Anonymouse828, this sounds like a narcissist taking advantage of you. The dynamic regardless of what it is is never meant to be one sided. Each party receives some type of benefit from the dynamic. If your gut is telling you something is wrong listen to it. There are plenty of faux owners, faux doms, faux daddys, faux anything. Set your boundaries and express what you want and you'll find someone healthy 🙂