How do you identify when you’re frenzying?

[Deleted Member]

Most of us felt frenzy set in when we first started to get into kink.
The rush to try everything we see can be fun but it can also lead us to unsafe play situations.

How do you know you’re feeling frenzy?

[Au****]

If someone tries to convince you, you should fit an entire human being up your anus, then you have, perhaps, gone too far. I've learned this from very reputable educational services

[Mr****]

I usually notice far too late. I'll say something and mentally go "Welp, that was a step too far". I'm pretty good at recognizing when I'm just horny though 🤷.

[SeaDragon580]

Well, I really haven't so far. I'm usually the one making other people take a second to think about what they're about to do. I had to step in on a party I was hosting once because a sub was trying to get people to hang her by the neck until she passed out. No one there had a minute of experience doing that.

[mi****]

Just happened with a client of mine. He needed a minute to chill and think about things

[Na****]

Like most things that don't help us, it starts to interfere with life. Like not sleeping or eating or socializing because your feigning and twitchy to back to learning more about kink. Can barely fit more in. 🤭

[gu****]

When you have the urge to put things in your a**e that don’t belong there. Which raises the question of who’s the judge and how well are they doing their job?

[Ph****]

When it's a few days later and I'm still sore, or for work I have to be conscious nothing bruised is showing

[Deleted Member]

Okay this is awesome. Because I’m new and ready to try everything. Well, not everything. But I will be aware now.

[Deleted Member]

Fortunately, I have more control over myself now. And that doesn't happen anymore. But in the beginning, after I got out of my first D/s relationship, (he was into only a limited amount of things) I definitely went into a very dangerous frenzy. Fortunately, I was very lucky.

My biggest struggle is I miss the *** when I'm not in a D/s relationship. The masochist side of me reminds me that I'm strong and can handle whatever comes my way. If that part isn't being fed, I struggle a lot. In the past, I have found a trustworthy friend in the Lifestyle that was able to cater to that part of me. But even that's difficult. Being paddled or whipped is a very sexual thing for me. But I only practice and get involved with men who believe in monogamy. So I have to find someone I am not attracted to, but that I trust with every part of me.

[P_****]

You have to be so careful with frenzy, it makes people reckless. Subs in particular are at risk of putting themselves in dangerous situations with people who will take advantage - I've been there! Luckily I know the signs now so would be very careful with someone who was in frenzy, and I'm not likely to be in that place again myself because I'm extremely lucky to be in a relationship where our mutual needs are met :)

[co****]

If you're that emotionally divested and lacking in sensical awareness, then don't be surprised if you're at the behest of just responding to life.

[Je****]

By frenzy... I think about how I would get excited... Driving somewhere felt like I wasn't getting there fast enough... Then when I did, I had to stop and think 'am I forgetting anything?'... I'm guessing that's what you mean....

[su****]

I've been in frenzy lately and I had a nagging in my head that I wasn't processing things and moving too fast. Try and step back and think do you feel giddy, will you say no.

[co****]

I don’t frenzy… I maintain myself… it’s called self control…

[adrenalina75]

10 hours ago, NachoRedhead said:

Like most things that don't help us, it starts to interfere with life. Like not sleeping or eating or socializing because your feigning and twitchy to back to learning more about kink. Can barely fit more in. 🤭

Oh my god. This was me. I barely slept for a few weeks because I was obsessed. Reading, researching, messaging people, doing things I shouldn’t have done!

[Le****]

I have an absolute stunning play partner that has completely surrendered herself, there is nothing we can't do and I take the best care of her protecting her mind, health and Safety, and when i read this, by providing the space and avoid her being somewhere with another person or a path like this

[Oz****]

I'm in a bit of a frenzy now - but more so to find the places that are safe to bring my chosen family to. I'd rather do the leg work and keep them comfortable. Anyone have kink spaces in Philly or know of good ones? Let me know. They have to be trans and queer friendly. 💜

[ch****]

I am fairly new to kink in this aspect. I have been on fet for 4 days or so and I have already learned so much I had no clue about. I am grateful for the openness here and when I saw this topic I was unaware of what it was referring to. But the comments have made me realize this "frenzy" could be the demise of my last relationship. I took a higher demand job and was home less and less. My sub, my princess, she began to reach out to other men and become involved in more conversation and groups involved in kink. 2 years later I found obedience trackers on her phone and it was clear she was performing commands from more than one Dom. She had never asked me to give her commands and I had never given her a list of tasks to perform. Now 4 years later we are separated. She claimed she had never and I never told her I had found the apps. I tried to give her that aspect myself and she would shrug of my request as she forgot or did not have time. I write this to say " please be open with your Dom and honest about your needs. Dom's be very aware of the needs your sub has and try to ask specific questions concerning their wants and desires. I believe people will do what they want in the end but this has been a very devastating time in my life, also incredibly confusing. Hindsight it was obvious but in the moment I had no clue why our relationship was becoming so hard to connect.

[Th****]

11 hours ago, chattanooga948658 said:

I am fairly new to kink in this aspect. I have been on fet for 4 days or so and I have already learned so much I had no clue about. I am grateful for the openness here and when I saw this topic I was unaware of what it was referring to. But the comments have made me realize this "frenzy" could be the demise of my last relationship. I took a higher demand job and was home less and less. My sub, my princess, she began to reach out to other men and become involved in more conversation and groups involved in kink. 2 years later I found obedience trackers on her phone and it was clear she was performing commands from more than one Dom. She had never asked me to give her commands and I had never given her a list of tasks to perform. Now 4 years later we are separated. She claimed she had never and I never told her I had found the apps. I tried to give her that aspect myself and she would shrug of my request as she forgot or did not have time. I write this to say " please be open with your Dom and honest about your needs. Dom's be very aware of the needs your sub has and try to ask specific questions concerning their wants and desires. I believe people will do what they want in the end but this has been a very devastating time in my life, also incredibly confusing. Hindsight it was obvious but in the moment I had no clue why our relationship was becoming so hard to connect.

Your experience almost mirrors the entire break down of my relationship. Though her and I were together for two years, the first half we had an incredible and what seemed inseparable bond with our dom / sub relationship. I ended up taking on a more intense position at my work that severed a lot of that free time to engage in that deep passion we once had. It was still there, just not as consistent. She had promised she would be up front about other men and that only I could give her the same kind of pleasure. Well, that wasn't her truth and ultimately she left me for three different men. I was so good to her in all the spoils of a romantic relationship but in the end it wasn't about the quality of the relationship it became a numbers game for attention. I was shattered.

[Fl****]

2 hours ago, SirDomSpokane said:

Your experience almost mirrors the entire break down of my relationship. Though her and I were together for two years, the first half we had an incredible and what seemed inseparable bond with our dom / sub relationship. I ended up taking on a more intense position at my work that severed a lot of that free time to engage in that deep passion we once had. It was still there, just not as consistent. She had promised she would be up front about other men and that only I could give her the same kind of pleasure. Well, that wasn't her truth and ultimately she left me for three different men. I was so good to her in all the spoils of a romantic relationship but in the end it wasn't about the quality of the relationship it became a numbers game for attention. I was shattered.

To you mr spokane

[Fl****]

13 hours ago, chattanooga948658 said:

I am fairly new to kink in this aspect. I have been on fet for 4 days or so and I have already learned so much I had no clue about. I am grateful for the openness here and when I saw this topic I was unaware of what it was referring to. But the comments have made me realize this "frenzy" could be the demise of my last relationship. I took a higher demand job and was home less and less. My sub, my princess, she began to reach out to other men and become involved in more conversation and groups involved in kink. 2 years later I found obedience trackers on her phone and it was clear she was performing commands from more than one Dom. She had never asked me to give her commands and I had never given her a list of tasks to perform. Now 4 years later we are separated. She claimed she had never and I never told her I had found the apps. I tried to give her that aspect myself and she would shrug of my request as she forgot or did not have time. I write this to say " please be open with your Dom and honest about your needs. Dom's be very aware of the needs your sub has and try to ask specific questions concerning their wants and desires. I believe people will do what they want in the end but this has been a very devastating time in my life, also incredibly confusing. Hindsight it was obvious but in the moment I had no clue why our relationship was becoming so hard to connect.

And you, chattanooga.

From what you both say it seems like you're heading in the right direction for healing. And good on you for seeking reasonable ways of acceptance, too many people get stuck on things such as that and hold onto anger which leads to delusion, instead of just finding ways to fruitfully live with it.

[Bl****]

I feel like I always kind of do this when I enter a new kink relationship. I just started with my dom and we had a whole talk about our preferences. Recently we’ve just been buying a ton of things and doing research. We have a lot in our repertoire now since we both need variety. We’re taking our time trying everything since the build up/teasing is huge for us. I feel like I go through it again once I’ve tried it all. I don’t feel like it’s ever led me into an unsafe play situation because I’m only with people that have mutual trust/respect for me. Preferences, limits, and safe words are always discussed first.

[ka****]

I identify as a willing slave when I'm in that "can't get enough" or frenzied state. I've known what I can and cannot handle for a while, but haven't had the vocabulary to put it this well. I know I'm in a frenzy because I "can't get enough"

[adrenalina75]

I think the OP means how do you ‘know’ when you’re in frenzy. As in identify that you are frenzied. Not what you identify as.