We need to do things better.....

[PixieDust]

Yesterday,  I found myself in the position of having to re-verify my account after unexpectedly being removed from the site.   I understand the site needs to be kept clean from the forever onslaught of scammers and that reported users need to be investigated however I seriously question if it’s being done the right way.

Why did this happen to me, you might ask? ……..well according to the email I have since discovered this morning, I was randomly selected by Fetish to do this but why when I had already provided the appropriate proof, which I might add was accepted by Fetish at the time.

I have been a member of this community for a long time now and as such did the right thing when I first joined and provided a video proving my identity. Since then I have met members who now know me personally and can vouch and verify, I am who I say I am and as such I now have the two green ticks on my profile. I would also be the first person to say if I did something wrong tell me, so that I do not do it again……….which leads me to ask why are we then wasting time on re-verifying proven members when the real scammers are out there and going under the radar and not getting caught……they are the ones that are doing real damage to this site and its members.

I was more than happy to re-prove my identity as I have nothing to hide and did so as soon as I was asked to.  I was back on the site fairly quickly and that was thanks to @CaveBear and  @HexTheSlut who came to my rescue but I would also like to take this opportunity to thank @Spanksy and @Lilmonster for also trying to help me and that of the other members who have since personally messaged me.  However, for me personally, the damage was already done the minute I was removed from the site and a line was put through my name, as it puts doubts in people’s minds and in this BDSM/Kink world we choose to live in, trust is everything and is earned over time.

From what I understand I am not the only Member this has happened to either……. whether it was from being randomly selected such as I was or from a disgruntled member reporting a member just because they did not get the reply or the attention, they perceived they deserved……

I do not want to see any other member unnecessarily go through the angst I went through yesterday on having to reprove themselves unless there is just cause to do so. I truly love this site and don’t want to see members leave but leave they will if they feel no action is being taken.

Therefore, I would like to have an open discussion on how we can stop this from occurring to other proven members and improve this site for the better. We need to get on top of the scammers faster, more efficiently and effectively and put steps in place to stop disgruntled members from reporting “willy nilly” just because they didn’t like the reply or lack thereof………there is always a better way, so let’s find it.

I welcome your thoughts and opinions………..and thank you for taking the time to read my post.

[Carnelian2]

Thank you for posting this. It has not happened to me, thankfully, and I can only imagine the feeling this must give. Surely there must be a better way to weed the real out from the others. Part of the challenge, though, is that some have an account and then immediately go to e-mail. That in itself can be valid but also be a ploy to avoid getting blocked. I am therefore not sure if an algorithm can be developed to effectively identify the real vs. fake

[CaveBear]

Well .. Just to add my little part to this .. I would say that during the signing up process when you get to the very last step, Maybe before you are given full access to the site, You should THEN be asked to verify yourself .. As this would catch a good deal of scammers out before they can get access to the site .. And not after they already have access.. Just a thought ...

 

Edited January 9, 2020 by CaveBear

[qu****]

They somehow seem to forget when someone's been verified, when I first joined I was a paying member and as such verified via credit card, plus did the photo thing, then when I stopped being a paying member my verification disappeared, photos still on profile and that, have reverified with the photo thing, but yes, something needs to happen to prevent this happening, not that verification stops scammers, I have come across verified members, who it soon became obvious were actually scammers

[NatalieLM84]

Yes, this has happened to me also due to a member reporting me for childish reasons. When other members asked why he had apparently clicked the wrong button 🙄

[qu****]

I thought that reporting or blocking come to that any messages sent were also looked at, in most cases it would become apparent that things weren't as they appeared, plus in cases like pixies the site could put an apology up so others could see it was an error on the sites part

[ThinGuy]

I think the management were well out of order, picking on Pixie who is the most genuine person around,

while I am being targeted by scammers right left and centre , because I am perceived as  a sad desperate dirty old man.

Of course I am not stupid enough to fall for the girl who never was.

I doubt if they even are girls, more like an organised crime network that uses unfortunates to try it on.

Mostly they have the same MO and are not particularly bright.

Saying that beware of the odd sophisticated ones.

😎😎😺

[ThinGuy]

I mean guy's we are here for kinky fun with like minded decent folk.

Not to be a victim of sinister crime ring's who steal ID's (fraud) and fake profiles and like gold.

😎😎😎😺🌈

[PixieDust]

14 minutes ago, ThinGuy said:

I think the management were well out of order, picking on Pixie who is the most genuine person around,

Thank you for your kind words,  however this post was not about me per say,  its about finding a better way to do things,  catching the scammers and only re-verifying people when there is just cause to do so.  I don't want this to become a post on whether or not I was hard done by........my aim of posting what happened was to bring it to attention and look at how we can do things better as a community.

[CaveBear]

5 minutes ago, PixieDust said:

bring it to attention and look at how we can do things better as a community.

Well Until the management get their fingers out and decide to correspond with the proper members it will never get sorted.. And as they don't seem to give a ... About the site anyway .. It will never happen .. 

[ThinGuy]

Hear, Hear, One for all and all for one...

Report the ones that ask for *** and  are not registered as Dominatrix. 

😎😎😎😺

 

[ThinGuy]

They usually try to isolate you to ask:

the old; my poor little daughter routine

. or need O2 voucher or Amazon etc. REPORT THIS!

They have terrible grammar and the wrong accent for person being portrayed.

😎😎😎😺

[qu****]

It's not just, doms, there's the knicker, socks sellers, the photo sellers, and I've noticed, a lot of younger remakes after sugar daddy's, some genuine I'm sure, but I suspect just see it as a way of making easy *** 

[ThinGuy]

Yes, I had a few photo sellers, I say there are millions for free on the net.

[qu****]

I usually say I want the real thing 😁

[Cruelprincess]

Yes same as me, need to verify again by sending a picture holding a piece of paper with my name and date... Being a member for more than a year, I really don't know why we need to do the same process that we've done already before..

[ThinGuy]

Or to know it is lol...

1 minute ago, quietlysure said:

I usually say I want the real thing 😁

 

[ThinGuy]

1 minute ago, Cruelprincess said:

Yes same as me, need to verify again by sending a picture holding a piece of paper with my name and date... Being a member for more than a year, I really don't know why we need to do the same process that we've done already before..

Right on...They need to chase the real gold diggers...

[Cruelprincess]

Hope they will find the fake one.. 

[qu****]

In fairness to the site problems occur when as a relatively small online business, they are reliant on outside use of computers and servers, and the more that are used the bigger the risk of problems

[Ar****]

As with @quietlysureI also feel something is a little off about losing statuses because of no longer having paid membership. I understand that the site is a business and so wishes to encourage members to spend, yet at the same time many users who contribute greatly to the site and enrich it are not in a position to. 

 

I have previously been verified as genuine and completed the age verification check too, and yet these are no longer clear on my profile. It is not as though I am bothered about viewing 18+ content (although when some users have that as the only content posted it can be disconcerting on the odd occasion). My concern is more than other users I may wish to connect with or they with me could easily be reassured by the site that I am authentic yet the way it is set up those guarantees are no longer visible to people who view me.

 

I am sure the response to this would be that the points system allows you to "buy" temporary paid membership for free; this is a fine idea but you would have to be spamming the site constantly to accrue enough points to make it worthwhile. I am not sure what the solution is...

[ThinGuy]

@Aranhis absolutely, those verification's are hard earned and should always be there.

😎😎😎😺

[Annalou]

Hi @PixieDust and all other fellow kinksters. Our team is very sorry that this decision has caused you angst and distress, this is the last thing we want for our community. As you can imagine, keeping a site like this safe, sane and consensual is of upmost importance to us and it is a huge job that comprises a number of teams working around the world. Alongside our moderators on the site, we have a support team that actively works its hardest to ensure the safety and credibility of users, however, sometimes mistakes and oversights are made. In your case, this was something that should not have happened and I want to offer my sincerest apologies. It was through a combination of miscommunication about the issue and some issues regarding verification that this happened. As a team, we are always trying to improve how we do things and all of your feedback here is welcomed and heard. We want to strive to be the most-trusted fetish and BDSM community in the world, and it's only with loyal kinksters like you that this will happen. If you ever have anything else you would like to talk about, please slide into my DMs and we can chat further. Keep it kinky all of you

[PixieDust]

In follow-up to my private message to you @Annalou I want to thank you again for the apology and appreciate your time in doing so. As mentioned this post was never about me seeking an apology and though it was very nice to receive and be acknowledged that something went astray……..for me personally, it was about putting a voice out there and seeing how we can do things better.

I can fully appreciate what it takes to run a site like this and the many rules and protocols that need to be followed and adhered to.  I also acknowledge the staff around the world who work so hard to keep this site up and running and sincerely appreciate all that they do.  We are not a perfect society by any means and errors and oversights can and will occur.  However, there is and always will be a better way to do things and what might have worked once, might not necessarily work now.

I think we can all agree, we definitely have a huge problem with scammers on our site and members being reported unnecessarily but having this forum platform available is a great way to address this and look at it as a community, voice our feedback and or concerns which then allows us to have an open and constructive discussion on possible solutions.

As I wrote in my personal message to you,  with many voices we can achieve greatness and we are forever the students in life no matter who we are.  We can all learn from each other and acknowledge that things are not always flawless but there is always a solution to a better way and I feel as a community we need to help find it, so in turn the “powers that be” can take it on board and make it the best site it can possibly be.

[ThinGuy]

I think we should form a Union Of Members with a Shop Steward to represent

our views and can liaise with management over grievances and the scam issue.

The representative should be elected by the members.

Lets make this democratic:

United we stand, divided we fall.

Vote for THE MASTER aka Red Chris  lol

But seriously anyone who agrees with the proposal say aye.

😎😎😎😺🌈