Life, body image and acceptance

[Mu****]

Good evening ladies, gentleman and all in between 👋🏻

(Heads up, quite long text ❤️😅)

Another late night and I've come to ponder a bit. Today's subject is going to be mostly focused on body image and acceptance with how we are while also thinking about life.
Before I get into my thoughts I want to preface this by saying that I'm no professional, psychologist or overly experienced person and most of this this are just that, thoughts. With that said

So I've recently started to think about myself and how I fit into this Community, what I want, what I seek and I've come to a point where I'm looking back at myself wondering, why?
Why am I seeking these experiences? Is it to gratify my own needs? Is it to have someone validate that I don't look bad or is it just that I'm looking for an outlet to get some relief from the stress of life? These thoughts enter my mind and really stirs things up.

What's really stuck and something I've both realised and contemplated often recently is my own body image I by no means look bad, I know this if anything I am pretty average, but even while I know this I keep finding that when I look at myself I just feel disappointed, almost disgusted. Is it something to do with my conception of self worth? Perhaps, but if that is the case what would work too help with that? Daily pep talks Infront of the mirror? Affirmations of self worth? Maybe even faking the feeling until it becomes true? All these options seem unattractive... The more I think about these things the more I start to realise that its not all about my own perception about myself but also things that are around me that affect me which also matters.

For example a simple things such as economy, the life *** of your life, hobbies and family. This "simple" things I've come to realise is one of my major factors that have made me have such a negative view on myself. It might just be purely mental but having no to low income really affects how attractive I am in my eyes, doesn't matter when I'm looking at a partner but when I look at myself I just feel less.

Now to wrap things up somewhat so this doesn't become a novel, the last thing I want to bring up is acceptance.

When it comes to acceptance I've found it hard to swallow that I'm me and that's okay, if I want change then I can achieve it or so I do believe. But I would love to hear from the community when it comes to acceptance of yourself be it body image or just personality, whatever it might be what made you finally feel like you could accept yourself for whom you are?

For those that read all of this, apologies for the longer post and potentially somber mood 😅

Best wishes and regards
Sincerely - John

[bw****]

That turns me on alot

[Ki****]

What a delectable subject John thank you 😊first of all I might suggest you a book called "1, nobody, 100,000" really seem to befitting what you trying to tell, and most of all those freaking mirrors that keep ruin our days seems.
Now to my 2p worth of nothing, in a metaphorical way I do not accept myself as acceptance has that tone of finish line, I want to continue improve and evolve in both body and spirit. Although there was a time I was in deep conflict with myself that ended the day I stopped blaming myself for the mould I came from.
Peace and lube ✌️

[Mu****]

1 hour ago, KinksterDan said:

What a delectable subject John thank you 😊first of all I might suggest you a book called "1, nobody, 100,000" really seem to befitting what you trying to tell, and most of all those freaking mirrors that keep ruin our days seems.
Now to my 2p worth of nothing, in a metaphorical way I do not accept myself as acceptance has that tone of finish line, I want to continue improve and evolve in both body and spirit. Although there was a time I was in deep conflict with myself that ended the day I stopped blaming myself for the mould I came from.
Peace and lube ✌️

That's a very fair reasoning that you had in the end there, wanting to improve yourself is an important part that I definitely forgot to go over.
the book I'll definitely check out 😄 also I'm glad you found the post interesting

[Ki****]

7 minutes ago, Mustachium said:

That's a very fair reasoning that you had in the end there, wanting to improve yourself is an important part that I definitely forgot to go over.
the book I'll definitely check out 😄 also I'm glad you found the post interesting

Is mutual pleasure i love this morning thoughts with coffee, as well you raise a valid question which sounds a bit like who or what i want to be, discovery of self or the masks we seen to live with.
The book is called "one, no one and one hundred thousands" by Luigi Pirandello, and Sort of a metaphor I'd this existential crisis started as well with a freaking mirror 🤣

[x2****]

Do I accept myself , most days not so much I am too fat, I am unlovable, l am unlikeable. I have failed in what I wished I would become. Years of mental ***, racial *** and self *** may have left me broken. There is no quick fix for this and many in the kink community share a similar story.
So at times I feel low I turn to this famous quote from life guru and Dr

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

[Ho****]

For me? Telling myself that failing to accept myself as who I really am - who, what, and what shape I am - regardless of how or whether that ticks the boxes I wish to - failing to feel I'm ok *IS ALSO OK*. We're all a work in progress and I wouldn't reject a friend for setting themselves a standard or target and not having attained it YET. Therefore if I'm to be a friend to myself, I mustn't reject ME for still having some way to go before I'm happy with me.

TL;DR: I stepped out of striving mode and into practising mode. Like other skills, it takes ten thousand hours... and like any other mountain, it isn't going to be climbed in a single day. Rest breaks will happen. Falls and back sliding and all the rest. They don't mean I'm no longer on the path, even if I slipped off it temporarily.

(Erm... that TL;DR was also TL... Sorry...)

[dominionhub]

I found my way here because I needed to break out of old patterns, especially as I am naturally shy.

It has helped in some ways, simply being an occasion to learn. But, it has not directly solved the underlying problems.

Accepting who and what we are cuts both ways.

Being complacent is dangerous if it makes people lazy. But, being overly critical can make problems seem impossibly large, discouraging effort at improving ourselves and our lot in life.

Recognize your skills, and apply them to the problems you can solve. (This is not always a direct process.)

[Deleted Member]

I loved that you shared this! I find myself thinking about what it's like being freaky and also having a lot more to love than most (to be kind to myself ) on my body frame. I try not to think about it. I'm sure there are people who notice it immediately, but I find things I like about my body that I'm sure the other could appreciate:

• These big ol' tiddies
• My tight hole 
• This fat ass
• What I bring to the bedroom

It somewhat helps me overcome the self-doubt and shame that can come with being a plus size woman in BDSM/kink.