BDSM Dating in Oklahoma City

I just want to talk to someone without feeling like I have to sext. I’m so lonely, and I’m hurting and I feel abandoned. I want to know what my flaws are so I can fix them, I can’t fix anything without understanding what the problem is. I want to know why I can date people for years and they never want to marry me? I want to know why I’m always with people who aren’t affectionate and leave me feeling like I’m not worth it. I want to know why when I do hit it off with some one they just shut me out one day, if I’m not cheating, and I’m trying to be a better version of myself everyday, what am I doing wrong? Is it my personality? Is it my body? It’s hard to be a better person when you have an emotional and physical deficit all the time. I’m trying so hard. I don’t want a pity party, just damn I don’t know what else to say or do?!