BDSM Dating in Fort Worth

I purposefully got myself d.
I met a guy on this app and set up a time to meet. I wore an outfit he approved of and sat at a local pizza shop for almost an hour resembling a hooker waiting for him. He finally arrived and i walked up. I don't remember what I was thinking. I know i was supposed to be scared and anxious with i was but usually these feelings prevent you from doing things that are harmful. Yet i sat in the car and he grabbed me by the hair and called me a dumb whore which he's right. He stopped by the liquor store on the way and bought me a bottle of pink Whitney and instructed me to drink. I started chugging to hopefully get rid of any nerves also it was yummy. We made out while people watched and walked by and he touched me. Eventually he started driving and we parked outside campus on a main road. He ordered me to get into the back seat. I started sucking his cock while he used my back as a table to roll our blunt. We hotboxed the car and then i blacked out after this I don't remember much only like glimpses he d me so bad i passed out like i remember him tapping my face and throwing me and i could see shadows and shapes and hear occasionally "you're so fuckung stupid" "you did this to yourself". I remember him being big and it hurting so bad when he d himself in me but I loved the istic desire in his eyes. I loved feeling wanted so badly. I barely remember getting on top- I would get waves of wanting to make him feel good and feeling exhausted, I even forgot my safe word I was so fucked up, and just wanting to sleep. Cars were driving by and I loved knowing that a creep could be watching us. Eventually I needed to use the bathroom and was so thirsty. He drove us to a IHop and had to walk me in I was so unstable. People probably thought I was a domestic *** victim (I am I don't even know) and he had to take me to the bathroom and order for me. Everyone was staring at us at me. I loved it. I love being the victim. I woke up with his cum in me - him sleeping next to me in my dorm. My face is heavily bruised. I am so fucking sore.