I am in a weird space right now, as I’m currently separated from my husband and we’re still ironing out the details of what that separation looks like for us; as well as considering what these new experiences (in each of our lives) bring to our situation. I’ve realized that in order to engage in something like this, I would need to be close to my dom. I require a foundation of friendship and to feel safe, seen and adored. Due to recent crazy ass events in my life (which I’m happy to divulge in confidence), I’ve rediscovered a very romantic part of myself that begs to be given light and I think that in order for me to fully relent to someone, I’d need them to speak to that side of me, as well as my intellect and have a general curiosity about who I am, as I can assure you, I’d be dying to know who everything about you. I do become very attached, very quickly, so I tend to tread lightly in these matters. I’m like a scared little chihuahua most of the time these days because of my current situation, but there is a very strong woman who lives inside of here. I was able to bring her out for a little bit of time, but I think I might need a little help now. I think I’m just looking for a productive and beneficial sort of symbiotic relationship where we can get to know each other in many different ways. I sort of need that kind of distraction hardcore right now.
I’m 34 (which I often have to do the math for because I forget, hahaha). Still sort of introverted, but I think I’m more of an introverted extrovert. Get me going with the right person who has just the right spark and I come alive. Still looking for quite a bit of order in my life. If you find it, holla at ya girl! Recently, I had bariatric surgery and have since lost a total of 170 lbs. I feel like a new person sometimes and sometimes I feel like myself. All that’s left of the person I used to be is loose skin and a fupa that handles like bread dough. 😂 I’m sure that part is probably tmi, but I like to manage expectations. 🙃 I do still feel quite beautiful, though, and now that I can physically live my life to the fullest, I don’t mind the extra saggy bits of skin so much when they make tights that have those miniskirts lookin’ just right. Hahaha I do like to appeal to someone’s gaze sometimes, but I want someone who doesn’t see me as hot or sexy when my bra has the boobs squished just right, but someone who sees me as art. A beauty to behold.
I do a lot of hiking these days and I smoke a lot of weed by the beach while I chill in my cozy comfy cove that I’ve created in the back of my little car. I sometimes do crafts, sometimes read Junji Ito books (and am looking for other suggestions in a similar vein), sometimes read other weird books, sometimes read the DMS-5 just for fun, sometimes cook dope ass meals and sometimes lie down while I get lost in music for hours on end. The last two are my favorite activities, as music and food are both great passions of mine. I love to make meals that I package and hand out to homeless people, so it’d be dope to find someone who would be down with helping me with that! It’s getting warmer out, so I think it’ll be a good time to get out and find more people around to help.
When it comes to getting to know someone, I’m looking for someone local, as I hate the wonton need that comes from long-distance relationships—unless you are willing to travel, as I cannot; I am a broke college student right now who only works 2 days out of the week because of my class schedule. I am an incredibly passionate person, so when I desire and crave something, that feeling is all-consuming and I just…need in the worst way. Age doesn’t really matter to me, but I prefer someone not stupid young and not much older than me. I don’t think I could go more than 10 years in either direction. I just ask for maturity, openness and kindness. I have no other specific criteria, or expectations for anyone. It seems I have a thing for lumberjacks and nerds, if that helps. 💁🏽♀️😂 Really, just looking for someone who makes my brain, heart and vagina come alive, all in that order. 😌