I don't accept unsolicited friend requests. Send me a message to introduce yourself and chat if you want a chance of having your friend request accepted. If you don’t read *at least* the basics on my profile to learn what I am / am not interested in and looking for, I'll know. Everyone who obviously ignores my profile in approaching me with the things I state to not approach me with will automatically be ignored. No exceptions. Thanks.
I won't accept rudeness & entitlement from anyone, but especially not from anyone claiming to be a Dom/me, irl or online. When it comes to any kind of relationship/dynamic, my behaviour is a direct mirror of yours. If you want respect, honesty & transparency, loyalty, love, etc then show me the same. If you want my submission then put in the effort to earn it because my submission doesn't come for free. I'm not a kink dispenser, and treating me like one will only make you lose my respect and interest. I have a 3 strike rule for boundary pushing shit, but directly intentional violations of my boundaries *might* get you get one warning (*if* even that much depending on how bad the behaviour) before I peace out.
I have no tolerance for liars, mind games, and other bs. If you want/need more than one partner in your life then I'm not the woman for you as I'm strictly monogamous. If you won't respect your partner's boundaries I'm not the woman for you. I'm only interested in monogamous partnerships and someone who is looking for an LTR with the goal of a lifelong partnership, who wants a more serious D/s dynamic. I do not have sex right off the bat and to me basic respect means not treating other people like kink dispensers/sex machines. I need to get to know you as a person, see what you're about, and actually be in an LTR with you before I allow you certain privileges. Anyone looking for casual NSA action or even just short-term, bypass me. I do not bend on this.
**Do not** approach me for anything more than a platonic friendship if:
• You only want sex and want it right away. Demisexual is a real thing so respect that and look it up if you're not familiar with it. Every demisexual's needs and preferences will be different from one individual and relationship to the next, but our main need for our sexual attraction is a requirement and non-negotiable. No, I will not have sex before that connection is there. No, I do not bend on this. If you want me and everything I have to offer - including my sex drive and the sexual aspects of bdsm, then take the time to build something real first. No shortcuts, and if *I* can get by managing my sex drive on my own without partnered activities in while just starting a relationship, so can you.
• You think you can pressure me to move faster in a relationship with you than what I'm 100% comfortable with for dating and building trust and a mental/emotional connection. That's another fast way to make me lose interest and respect for you, and I **will** pull away or even end the interaction if I'm not being respected and taken seriously on this. This is **not** up for persuasion and if you try to persuade me to move faster by not listening to me and taking me seriously, I *will* nope out with the quickness immediately after. I do not budge on this for *anyone*, regardless of who you are.
• You think you can demand my submission or even just demand I call you by some title/honourific outside of a negotiated dynamic or some special community event where everyone is using titles/honourifics for everyone else. If you demand or act entitled to my submission OR being called by a title/honourific outside of those appropriate situations, I *will* treat you as if you've just given me permission to "brat" in the worst possible way. Consider yourself warned.
• You have *any* issues with being vetted, the vetting process and period length, and with ***how*** I choose to vet you. My minimum vetting period is 90 days but could be longer, depending on how well I can vet you and how long it takes to get to know you.
• You "don't believe in" negotiations, subs having limits, safewords, or aftercare. Miss me with that nonconsensual unkinky bs.
• Are a sadist who needs sadism & pain based play in your dynamics. That's one of my major hard limits and if that's something you feel you really need to feel satisfied and fulfilled in a dynamic, then we're simply not compatible for anything beyond platonic friendship and community socialising.
• Need to be raised/mothered in the vanilla sense of the word. If you wanna act like a boy who can't do basics for yourself without help (such as cooking and laundry like the rest of us independent adults), how do you expect to be a Dom for another, let alone for Little/Middle types of subs? If you need to be mothered in the vanilla sense because you haven't bothered with basic independent living skills and need to be instructed how to cook, clean, and do your own laundry, then consider the fact that you're *probably* not ready to be a Dom. I've been around too many guys (regardless of whether they're vanilla or not) who acted like they wanted/needed a mother more than an actual equal partner - both from platonic friends but especially in the dating scene and potential interests, and never again.
• Looking to do TPE and change my life around. TPE *might* be considered only *after* we've been in a serious relationship for a long enough while and you've gained my trust, respect, and submission. IF I feel *safe* enough to let myself go enough to try a TPE, it'll be at the timing that *I* feel 100% comfortable with depending on our relationship. No, this is not up for debate. Until I *know* I can fully trust you, TPE *WILL* be completely off the table. I have extremely good reasons for this so no, you will NOT be able to change my mind, period. Respect that or bypass me if you want TPE and want it within the first 5 years of a dynamic.
• Want a bunch of nude/sexy pics. I don't send personals and I'm not a sex worker so I won't even if you offer me payment for them.
• Are someone who tries to tone-police women's language, especially when it comes to cussing (don't get this confused with showing others respect once it's earned or the basics of being polite in the appropriate context). Yes, I am a woman who casually cusses for humour and to emphasise a point. No, I do not give a fuck what *your* personal opinions on it are. And anyone who's intimidated by cussing to the point of pearl-clutching and automatically judges everyone who cusses (but especially women) is too psychologically weak for me, and not a person of quality character and intelligence. Btw, cussing is actually correlated with intelligence according to scientific studies and yes you can easily look that up. So cope or move along because I have no time for sexists who believe/say shit like "cussing isn't ladylike" - the whole "ladylike" arguments are nothing more than misogynistic bs ways of trying to nonconsensually control women's behaviours. Fuck off with those sexist double standards especially when you haven't gained anyone's consent to set speech restrictions on them. You want to set speech restrictions? Find yourself a High Protocol slave then.
**Yes:**
• People who will actually read my profile. Seriously, that will put you leagues above the majority of people who are only here because they're horny, and actually gain my respect.
• Calling me by my actual name (ask for it in DMs) and not pet names outside of a dynamic or without asking for my consent first. And if I don't consent, RESPECT that or gtfo instead of throwing a tantrum over it. If you say you're a Dom then act like it by respecting consent.
• Caregivers/daddy-doms, soft/sensual/pleasure doms, and brat lovers/wranglers, who actually respect their sub's consent and autonomy. These are the Dom types that are my most compatible for dynamics.
• Someone strictly monogamous (or flexible enough to be) when it comes to a romantic relationship/dynamic with me and looking for a serious LTR/marriage.
• Platonic friends in the lifestyle, preferably other female subs (including any female presenting and transwomen) close in age, but I'm open to any type/gender for friendships so long as they're genuinely good humans respectful of boundaries.
• Anyone into music (especially all or many different kinds, being eclectic is the best for swapping music reccs), gaming, reading, philosophy, science, history, or art and willing to have endless conversations on almost any topic under the sun with someone regardless of relationship type. People who enjoy intelligent conversations and conversations of mutual interests, ofc.
• Other left leaning people politically are preferred but independent and centrists are usually ok too. Just be a decent fucking human being instead of a judgemental clown to marginalised groups, and we're good lmao.
• Anyone willing to relocate if they're serious about a committed LTR - and if you're already a citizen of Canada, even better.
**No:**
• Bigoted conservatives, but especially no right wing extremists (incels, neo-nazis, KKKs and white supremacists in general, other religious extremists, and fascists) for dynamics. I'll be civil and polite to normal conservative types so long as you're doing the same and not being disrespectful to me or others, but beyond that it just won't work, especially the more far right the person is. Any disrespect and you should expect the exact same from me. The overwhelming majority of people I knew/know and have met throughout my life who were conservatives, in my personal experiences, have almost always proved to be the most disrespectful and judgmental clowns - moreso than those on the left when it comes to things that can't be controlled and things that aren't harmful to anyone (although yes judgmental clowns exist on the left too, they exist everywhere and I have no qualms calling a spade a spade on any side of the political spectrum). I do not associate with judgmental clowns regardless of their political leanings, and basically anyone generally being a doucherooster to other human beings who are just trying to live their lives without threat and fear of harm for benign shit, especially outside their control and personal spiritual/religious beliefs. It's really not hard to just be decent and respectful like so many like to pretend it is nowadays.
• Ableists who are too mentally lazy to educate themselves on disabilities, especially the invisible ones. The type of ableists who actually believe sick/disabled people "choose" to be sick/disabled or "allow" their sicknesses/disabilities to ruin their lives or automatically write everyone with a disability off as "making excuses for being lazy" can fuck off. This also goes for gatekeepers within mental health and neurodivergence communities too. Internalised ableism isn't a kink.
• Men under 30 and over 55 for anything more than platonic friendships. I prefer to keep my romantic relationships within a certain range from my current age: no more than 10 years younger than me and no more than 15 years older than me.
• Sexual messages. That is a privilege I give to a committed partner after we've reached that stage of our relationship, not a right. Identifying as a Dom doesn't make you entitled to any type of interactions with me, period.
• Any kind of non-monogamists when it comes to seeking a dynamic/relationship beyond platonic friendships with me. I have friends who are poly/ENMists, it's just not my jam for anything beyond that.
• Pet names and honourifics **outside** of a relationship/dynamic or pet names that are explicitly stated as the type that I'll only allow later in the relationship/dynamic. I've had someone disrespect and push my boundaries on this rule multiple times in the past with using a pet name I specifically told them was off limits until much later in the relationship - that's just one of the reasons they didn't last past the vetting process with me. I regret giving them too many chances at that stage and it won't be happening again. This is *not* up for debate and I *won't* be giving second chances on this because you've already been warned here, and if you start doing shit that goes against my clearly stated boundaries in my profile, then that's the end of any chance you might have had to become my Dom. I do not fuck with prospective Doms looking for subs who won't even bother to read a sub's profile to find out what they're all about.
• Asking about my hard limits for the ulterior motive and purpose of pushing/negotiating them sooner or later, rather than respecting them. They are **not** up for negotiation, period. IF my hard limits change during a relationship, I'll let the Dom know and ask about the possibility of exploring them. Do not try to enter into a negotiated dynamic with me hoping my hard limits will change, because that's not how *any* respectful relationship works.
• Low effort conversation starters: “hey/hi/what's up/how are you” will ultimately be ignored because it doesn't show any genuine interest in me as a human being - it only tells me you're bored and looking for casual NSA fun.
• Anything NSA based: hookups/casual sex/FWBs, and situationships.
• LDRs with people who aren't serious about the future of the relationship and taking the relationship offline to an irl LTR/marriage. Not into wasting time with a relationship that has no foreseeable real life goals in mind. Not into temporary arrangements or drifting through life without any aim like that.
Now that my boundaries have been established, on to the fun bits!
I'm an introvert, easy-going, playful, dorky and awkward, an adventurous free spirit, open-minded, and a resilient, strong woman with equal parts sass & softness, and whichever side of me you see is based on how you treat me. I have an insatiable curiosity about most things and love learning. I'm super shy until I really get to know and connect with a person. I'm an INFP for you MBTI nerds. I'm good at getting along with *most* people once I get to know them. I believe in the importance of kindness and common courtesy but not in being a pushover, so once someone gives me a reason not to be kind, I won't tolerate buffoonery.
I'm a total unapologetic neurodivergent (which means random moments of neurospicy awesomeness) and nerd/geek - talk nerdy to me or get me going on something deeper than small talk and I will genuinely enjoy our conversation. I love the deep, intelligent kinds of conversations that make you think and challenge you to learn and grow as a person. Those are the kinds of conversations that "tickle" my brain. Bonus points if you actually enjoy ND infodumping lmao. Cheers to all the neurotypicals who genuinely accept and enjoy us neurodivergents - you people are the real MVPs. I love the arts and sciences, especially the performing arts, photography, and cinematography, astronomy, the quantum fields, linguistics, psychology, anthropology, history, and philosophy. I'm also a lover of both vidya games and table top games. I love board game nights with loved ones just as much as I love kicking their asses at mario kart. I may or may not get a tad bit competitive during intense games, but it's all in good fun. I also love various outdoorsy stuff such as camping, hiking, swimming, kayaking, canoeing, and horseback riding. I enjoy trying new things and learning new skills of interest.
I'm currently aspiring to write a book.
**Bdsm things:**
I'm an age regressive middle, little, and sensual sub. My regression range fluctuates between middle and little, but my default regression is 95% of the time in the middle range (10-18 ish). I *can* be a bit bratty (with consent ofc) but just for fun, playful, light-hearted teasing. I guess you could call that "Brat Lite" lmao. I don't like acting out my younger middle (below 16) & little headspaces while on the internet, in public, or around anyone who doesn't know that side of me for various reasons. So even if/when regressed (especially in the little range), I'm going to act like my older self in certain spaces. You'll only really notice little hints of the regression and different headspaces while in public/online after you get to know me better and learn how to spot the signs. I'm not into ADBL since my little range doesn't go any lower than about 4 or 5 (which is not very often anyway), and diapers are a hard limit for me. I have no interest in pacis and sippy cups either. Fun straws are cool though.
For D/s dynamics I'm into Caregiver Doms and sensual/pleasure Doms at the softer end of the D/s spectrum. Only looking for a D/s dynamic within a romantic LTR. I just can't do platonic and short-term dynamics. I need a deeper connection than that.
Anything else you wanna know, feel free to ask. ^^
