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Jed

Mindset and clarity.

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Posted

For many people(and I'm generalising) their day to day lives requires the need to submit or the need to dominate, whether that's through work, home or family life. My curiosity lies within the mindset at these points in our lives where we give over control or take control, do we compartmentalise these feelings for what they are in "day to day" scenarios only to then take on the full reality of those situations when we serve or dominate our partners. Does the switch in our minds just simply click or do we process it at the point and find reasons, answers or question the whole scenario about to play out before us. Personally it's natural to be dominant in my work, my role dictates that,but im constantly mindful of my actions regarding the people I work with as my position dictates a fine balance for clear and concise action, and a sense of ease knowing I have their respect for the actions I take. When I'm with my partner, the mindset is clear and concise, the clarity is defining, and the respect is duly earned based on the level of control I dictate, and the warmth/care of the interaction that follows.

My question really is what goes through your mind at those points where you feel the need to be submissive or dominant, the natural instinct comes from within, the agreements you have concluded define your interactions, but somewhere deep in your mind you want answers, grasp for clarity, crave a defining path of enlightenment, a basic human instinct to understand your mindset.

I hope I have not rambled to much and really I suppose like my previous post on the *drop* I'm looking to engage you, so again we offer a path of learning for all those who are willing to embrace this colourful lifestyle, through shared experience.

Thank you for reading and sharing your insight.

Jed❤

 

  • Like 8
Fairylight
Posted
I would say with my job i have to be dominant which is so not me and is sometimes a struggle, i find my self passing control to others when i am able to, such as buying a coffee on the way to work i let the barista decide what to make me.
  • Like 3
3SumQueen
Posted

I only have to be submissive while working people out, i feel this gives them the confidence to be vulnerable to me and more honest. Otherwise i interact with people on all levels and none of them bother me or cause me distress, none will be submissive though either after that initial working out phase (i will skip that phase also if the person comes off as an arsehole initially).

  • Like 2
Posted
I am quite a dominating character in day to day life. I’m loud & excitable & confident & quite sweary. I’ll happily tell people what I think & I’ll often give people a nudge in the supermarket & tell them to smile if the look miserable. However deep down I’m painfully shy but not sure either of these have any effect on me as a sub. Although all of my life I’ve been a Domme which is where my character probably came through, now as a sub I am extremely confident & can hand control over to a Dom which in real life I couldn’t hand control over to anyone. For me being a sub is a sexually thrilling experience & where as I am highly sexed & the whole world is a non stop innuendo for me in real life I don’t think my sub role has any bearing on my everyday life. Plus as you all know by now I waffle on endlessly & you can’t do then when you mouth is full or gagged 😬
  • Like 4
Posted (edited)

mySir ❤️❤️

I think I've started and deleted about six times at this stage because I have no clue where to actually start lol 

Let's take the 'mum' role...absolutely there's a measure of control there, there needs to be but let me clarify that I don't see it as 'taking control'...i see it as nurturing, being in control of myself and the positive choices and decisions I ultimately make for the care and wellbeing of my children. 

These characteristics and traits also wind their way into my life outside of the family home, I'm exactly the same way with those I meet in RL and online regardless of whether it's friendships, my volunteering or anything else I turn my hand to. 

All of these situations are extremely dependant on my ability to remain in control of MYSELF, it can be equally draining as it is stressful and that's where the drive to succeed is a bit detrimental to my own wellbeing and mindset. 

It's wrong, I don't condone it but helping and maintaining that constant for those around me, for making their lives a little easier or more fulfilled, in giving them the pleasure out of that which they hold dearest is EXACTLY what my purpose is. My purpose pretty much is...to be pleasing. 

Instinctly that's who I am and needless to say, a very wise person once said "You're spreading yourself too thin and you're not leaving enough for yourself" and "we sometimes make choices on impulse instead of taking the time to breath, reflect and realise"...words and advice I am slowly learning to take heed of lol. 

But differentiating between life outside the dynamic with mySir isn't a black and white scenario for me. I've been trained as a slave in the past and I've accommodated 24/7 (albeit for a short stint) but just enough to see that really, the ONLY difference between my purpose in RL and my present dynamic is that in my dynamic I strive to please Him and WITHOUT any element of control.

my natural instinct kicks into play and there really is no conscious effort nor relative thought and I can be free within Him, without stress and well, if I'm drained, in whatever regard....then i categorically know He is pleased 😈

 

But nope...in my submission there is no switch that flicks, there is no hampered thought process nor a need for a question to leave my lips. my servitude to mySir is pretty much the only sanctuary I do have lol ❤️❤️

Edited by saphy
  • Like 1
Posted
12 hours ago, saphy said:

mySir ❤️❤️

I think I've started and deleted about six times at this stage because I have no clue where to actually start lol 

Let's take the 'mum' role...absolutely there's a measure of control there, there needs to be but let me clarify that I don't see it as 'taking control'...i see it as nurturing, being in control of myself and the positive choices and decisions I ultimately make for the care and wellbeing of my children. 

These characteristics and traits also wind their way into my life outside of the family home, I'm exactly the same way with those I meet in RL and online regardless of whether it's friendships, my volunteering or anything else I turn my hand to. 

All of these situations are extremely dependant on my ability to remain in control of MYSELF, it can be equally draining as it is stressful and that's where the drive to succeed is a bit detrimental to my own wellbeing and mindset. 

It's wrong, I don't condone it but helping and maintaining that constant for those around me, for making their lives a little easier or more fulfilled, in giving them the pleasure out of that which they hold dearest is EXACTLY what my purpose is. My purpose pretty much is...to be pleasing. 

Instinctly that's who I am and needless to say, a very wise person once said "You're spreading yourself too thin and you're not leaving enough for yourself" and "we sometimes make choices on impulse instead of taking the time to breath, reflect and realise"...words and advice I am slowly learning to take heed of lol. 

But differentiating between life outside the dynamic with mySir isn't a black and white scenario for me. I've been trained as a slave in the past and I've accommodated 24/7 (albeit for a short stint) but just enough to see that really, the ONLY difference between my purpose in RL and my present dynamic is that in my dynamic I strive to please Him and WITHOUT any element of control.

my natural instinct kicks into play and there really is no conscious effort nor relative thought and I can be free within Him, without stress and well, if I'm drained, in whatever regard....then i categorically know He is pleased 😈

 

But nope...in my submission there is no switch that flicks, there is no hampered thought process nor a need for a question to leave my lips. my servitude to mySir is pretty much the only sanctuary I do have lol ❤️❤️

Thank you....i do hope as many new members get to read this...so beautifully written and so impactful on the thought process that happens day to day.

❤❤❤

Posted
20 hours ago, BigPolly said:

I am quite a dominating character in day to day life. I’m loud & excitable & confident & quite sweary. I’ll happily tell people what I think & I’ll often give people a nudge in the supermarket & tell them to smile if the look miserable. However deep down I’m painfully shy but not sure either of these have any effect on me as a sub. Although all of my life I’ve been a Domme which is where my character probably came through, now as a sub I am extremely confident & can hand control over to a Dom which in real life I couldn’t hand control over to anyone. For me being a sub is a sexually thrilling experience & where as I am highly sexed & the whole world is a non stop innuendo for me in real life I don’t think my sub role has any bearing on my everyday life. Plus as you all know by now I waffle on endlessly & you can’t do then when you mouth is full or gagged 😬

Brilliant Polly...insightful as ever and very much what others need to read....thank you

Posted
21 hours ago, 3SumQueen said:

I only have to be submissive while working people out, i feel this gives them the confidence to be vulnerable to me and more honest. Otherwise i interact with people on all levels and none of them bother me or cause me distress, none will be submissive though either after that initial working out phase (i will skip that phase also if the person comes off as an arsehole initially).

Thanks 3SumQueen great insight and great for others to read.

  • Like 1
Posted
22 hours ago, Fairylight said:

I would say with my job i have to be dominant which is so not me and is sometimes a struggle, i find my self passing control to others when i am able to, such as buying a coffee on the way to work i let the barista decide what to make me.

Thanks Fairy for sharing your thoughts.


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