Ch**** Posted September 14 Posted September 14 (edited) I do wonder sometimes about how people act online to offline. Ice breaker messages are one of these things. I've only ever seen a few well thought out ones, and I replied to say how good too. Though the majority of the time they are just terrible and leave you thinking , do they act like that all the time. Feel free to share bad or good icebreakers you have received Edited September 14 by Chiana Forgot to add to title
CopperKnob Posted September 15 Posted September 15 Someone made a little rhyme as a first message once. It was funny, relevant to my profile etc. Probably the most well thought out one I've ever received.
R-**** Posted September 15 Posted September 15 I’ve recently had a thought on opening lines and why the beginning efforts might be low: On several different platforms in which one communicates *after* a match is made, I have taken the initiative to message first where I can. I do my best to be clever, inviting, and specific to the person I’m messaging. BUT even with that effort (effort and cleverness that my lady-friends have applauded, btw) there is still a high percentage of people I’ve *matched* with that just don’t respond— they swiped on me for *some reason*— and they are using a dating app 🤷🏼♂️. I’m still going to put forth the effort, but it is pretty frustrating to continually put forth effort that is not even engaged with. But I’d bet I’m preaching to the choir here— I doubt app lurkers are engaging with forums
John54 Posted September 15 Posted September 15 I try to be welcoming and respectful, complimentary if there's something in their profile that's attracted my attention, and inviting of a response
TimberTara Posted September 15 Posted September 15 I like to send a picture. I think a picture is worth 1000 words.
cr**** Posted September 16 Posted September 16 I just say hello, sometimes something witty. Like you said keep it chill at first and act as i would in person
Pe**** Posted September 17 Posted September 17 My favourite icebreaker for a while was to say “Hi, just to be clear, I’m not a sociopathic knobhead”. It was fine for a while until someone relied “Liar - takes one to know one”… That dented my confidence for a while and prompted a rethink.
gi**** Posted September 20 Posted September 20 I’m not too sure I have a hard time starting coversations and knowing what to say maybe somebody could help me with some good icebreaking messages by chance ???
sm**** Posted September 20 Posted September 20 (edited) If i do initiate first contact, i try and make it relevant to something that caught my attention enough to take a good look and read through, something written on their profile or a good/relevant answer to a question/forum topic. A good description and genuine reason, or if it's just a "that made me laugh/smile" in a good way thanks for making my day quote. As a rule ignore a simple "HI" it's too generic and lacks empathy or that they have actually got anything in common to continue. Edited September 20 by smeagol
Th**** Posted September 21 Posted September 21 23 hours ago, smeagol said: If i do initiate first contact, i try and make it relevant to something that caught my attention enough to take a good look and read through, something written on their profile or a good/relevant answer to a question/forum topic. A good description and genuine reason, or if it's just a "that made me laugh/smile" in a good way thanks for making my day quote. As a rule ignore a simple "HI" it's too generic and lacks empathy or that they have actually got anything in common to continue. This is the best way to go about it all, in my opinion. A formula, so to speak, rather than "opening lines." For many people, women especially from my own experience and what I've heard from other women, anything that feels like a line that's being copy/paste sent to everyone that person initiates contact with is likely to be off-putting. In addition to the ultra low effort "hi" or any variation thereof, initial messages that are statements, not open-ended to invite conversation and interaction are often going to be ignored because the person on the recieving end doesn't know what to do with it.
Ki**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Shit who's letting the ice break anymore sheesh lol I think all my messages go unanswered.... just like this one
Je**** Posted September 27 Posted September 27 2 hours ago, KingDrip said: Shit who's letting the ice break anymore sheesh lol I think all my messages go unanswered.... just like this one Change your user name….
NerdyPunxxx Posted September 28 Posted September 28 On 9/26/2024 at 5:32 PM, Jesssicaa said: Change your user name….
Deleted Member Posted September 28 Posted September 28 I've only been on here for 2 weeks, I've had some response and a couple of interesting chats, but I'm working on improving and refining my methods each time. You have to be prepared to put the effort in and work at it
ba**** Posted October 3 Posted October 3 I have one that usually works and leaves you thinking just a fun wee game and only once been asked “are we 12” and safe to say indicates personality of a plank
Mezmerism Posted October 18 Posted October 18 I have received lots of awful icebreakers. I’ve chosen two to share that are classic examples of how NOT to approach a total stranger! ~ Hi, please can you make me breathe your farts? =) ~ Can I f*ck you in my rover! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I also hate copy and paste icebreakers. They scream out zero effort so I ignore any that I receive.
Th**** Posted October 18 Posted October 18 1 hour ago, Mezmerism said: I also hate copy and paste icebreakers. They scream out zero effort so I ignore any that I receive. Sooo much, this.
LadyV Posted October 19 Posted October 19 Based on what I see in most of my inboxes online and what I've heard from other women about all their inboxes...it seems like it's mostly just cishet men being shitty. Sexual harassment, fantasy spewing, weird threats, bizarre anti-women rants, desires or demands for things you're explicitly not into and indicate obvious incompatibility that he ignored, and lots lots lots lots LOTS of low-effort "hey." It's all just...bad. So unattractive, uninteresting, and lame. Most of the time, I just block, report, delete, and ignore. They desperately want attention of some sort from women so it's best to not give them any attention at all, good or bad. I very rarely see a cis dude compose a message worth answering. When I do, it's usually based on him *actually reading my profile* and looking for signs of real compatibility before reaching out to me. I'm not interested in dating cishet men anymore, but back when I was the ice breakers that worked with me were discussing mutual interests that weren't just about kinks or sex. It's so boring that every dude only wants to discuss kink or sex. The topic gets tedious and overplayed when that's all they ever talk about. I crave people with an actual compatible personality, not just available genitals.
sm**** Posted October 19 Posted October 19 It's hard to filter out the genuine messages when your Inbox gets swamped, I can totally understand why the vast majority get deleted unread. It's sadly been the same since day one of fet on the tinternet and decades later just compounded more. Basically as has been stated quite a large percentage come on for the wrong reasons and just look at it through their own sexual fantasies and wants. I never take it as a slight if a message gets deleted or unread, or especially if i get a reply sometimes week or so later, but big red flags are if someone actually tries to reply with...."you need to reply" etc etc to their messages to you. basic etiquette, no reply means not interested. It helps that the sender actually fills in their profile and not a blank picture or generic shot and at least some assemblance of completing or filling in their profile. Try and put something in that reflects your lifestyle outside of the kink community. I have made more friends and contacts through this than both just contacting each other on a kink related subject.
Th**** Posted October 19 Posted October 19 9 hours ago, LadyV said: I'm not interested in dating cishet men anymore, but back when I was the ice breakers that worked with me were discussing mutual interests that weren't just about kinks or sex. It's so boring that every dude only wants to discuss kink or sex. The topic gets tedious and overplayed when that's all they ever talk about. I crave people with an actual compatible personality, not just available genitals. 👏👏👏💜💜💜
BrainyBabeMagic Posted October 22 Posted October 22 Nothing turns me on more than a generic hello/you're beautiful/I think we'll get along from a guy with a blank profile. Nothing turns me like a complete lack of stimulation. 🥵
sm**** Posted October 24 Posted October 24 If you think messages can be bad, im still of the fet generation of early online IRC and Yahoo chats and bulitinboards when the thirsty ignorant's would only contact you with "ASL?" because they were too lazy and self centred to actually have a conversation or read into a nick. Funny as hell if you gave a response of "old enough, about once a decade and on the bog" then they would have a hissy rant :)
lo**** Posted November 19 Posted November 19 (edited) On 10/18/2024 at 9:23 PM, LadyV said: the ice breakers that worked with me were discussing mutual interests that weren't just about kinks or sex. It's so boring that every dude only wants to discuss kink or sex. The topic gets tedious and overplayed when that's all they ever talk about. I crave people with an actual compatible personality, not just available genitals. I got one the other day that started great. A few thoughtful paragraphs... then fantasy spewed on me, and THEN asked for input. So close, yet so far... Edited November 19 by locketheart typo
ey**** Posted November 19 Posted November 19 a lady I briefly lived with (we weren't dating, long story) was on dating site and she got lots of messages and she said the ones she'd reply were any who just sent her a joke. Providing the joke was funny, and funny could be bad dad jokes, christmas cracker jokes, that kinda thing - fun and non offensive. she found that easier than anyone writing overblown about thems or lazy "Hi"
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