How do you learn what you do and don't like?

[AKA_Copper]

8 hours ago, submissived0m24 said:

Personally, I'd start small, say stuff you can do alone. Some toys, choking, etc. Just do what you feel comfortable with. (If you must, you can use the internet, but be careful using it)

This is poorly thought-out advice. If you're new, playing solo, you do not attempt to *** yourself.

[DarkArts1066]

How do you truly know what you do and do not like - in regards to kink and fetish ?

Simple. By experiencing different aspects of it - first hand.
You can think and ponder all you will… but then there comes the day where you decide to go ‘all in’ and give something a whirl.

But - This is where you should let your head rule your heart.
I would like to hope that anyone who wants to explore and experiment has read up on SSC, RACK and PRICK principles first and foremost, as well as the 4C’s.

You don’t just walk into a bedroom and decide to tie your partner up, without first researching HOW to create safe ties, what NOT to do, and at least having some idea of the potential health risks involved, -as well as a pair of freshly purchased safety shears within ama reach at all times.

SSC stands for “Safe, Sane and Consensual”.

This is the cornerstone upon which all Kink and Fetish activities should sit - in my humble (but highly experienced) opinion.

You don’t learn to fly a plane, without first understanding the principles of flight….

Kink and Fetish activities are exactly the same.

And some, not all, carry the same risk of failure - and death, if done wrongly.

Let that sink in for a moment, and then start your research.

Good luck on your journey. I hope that you - and those you meet along the way enjoy it.

[DarkArts1066]

58 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

This is poorly thought-out advice. If you're new, playing solo, you do not attempt to *** yourself.

Agree. 100%.
This is how people end up found in hotel room wardrobes, naked, having unintentionally garrotted themselves.
BAD idea.

[BigPolly]

Don’t watch porn & expect that is how it’s going to be!
Play scenes can be tiring but often dangerous so don’t approach anything drunk or horny. You need your wits about you.
Don’t suddenly think ‘right who’s up for it’ as it’s hard to find someone who matches us AND matches our kinks. Patience is key.
If you discover a kink that takes your fancy, chances are it’ll change or evolve over time so enjoy the moment.
Be prepared for things going wrong & be prepared to laugh at things going wrong, it’s ok to have a sense of humour.
Approach BDSM with respect & remember it isn’t always about sex
Go to clubs or munches & observe
Find out what you like & how you’d like to approach it. Gain confidence in yourself before bringing others in but also be constantly willing to learn & adapt
Most importantly ‘Enjoy Yourself & Enjoy the Journey!’

[Ja****]

Well not being afraid to try anything is a good start. *** of rejection and *** of taboo will really clise your mind off to things that would blow ur mind. Asking a partner what their deepest kinks or fetishes are then being willing to try them for that person can make u more confident in voicing your own and may expose some to you that you didnt know u had

[Ln****]

Take your time and find someone to explore with that is ok with how new you are. A good teacher is the very best way to learn about this stuff!

[r1****]

by trying everything at least once

[an****]

First always comes first and I cannot stress this enough DO RESEARCH even on things you don't think you will like or enjoy, it's important to educate yourself on proper practice, keep an open mind about everything and make sure to set clear boundaries. Discovering your limits may come with research but sometimes you may not know for sure until you try.

[BigPolly]

Equally, as much as you’ll discover Kinks & Fetishes you do like & do want to try, you’ll also come across things that you really don’t like or don’t want to try (Limits). Set boundaries & stick to them, don’t be bullied & don’t allow anyone to overstep those boundaries, equally don’t overstep anyone else’s boundaries. 
Trust your instincts & don’t be ‘told’ what you should or shouldn’t be enjoying.
This is YOUR journey & you go at YOUR pace with YOUR limits. 

If someone has a Kink that you don’t like or you don’t understand, that’s ok, we’re all wonderfully different, we don’t have to like the same stuff but it doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it’s just their way & you stick to your way.

 

[su****]

Willing to try almost anything one time

[jc****]

Thursday at 05:20 AM, ceres984610 said:

A munch is a group of people that gather to discuss BDSM topics and vet people for events

How do you find one, say im Minneapolis?

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, jcrew said:

How do you find one, say im Minneapolis?

Normally you look on FetLife or one of the other websites to look for local groups. Do your research on the group to ensure they have experience in their topics they want to discuss

[tu****]

Ask

[Al****]

Ask if you have a partner, FWB, or you meet someone on here and going to hook up. Explore. For example, I had a woman who was into fem dom and bondage. So, we started off with fem dom and next time did bondage and fem dom. Normally, I am the one dominating her, ball gag, and everything else. But, that was a new experience, and I would do it again. So, it comes down to meeting someone, talking to them, and exploring.

[Mi****]

Look y'all I'm in Portland. I know there's a big fet scene here but I'm so...Mister Rogers? Like how do I walk in and be like hey friends I wanna be squirted on and yelled at

[qu****]

Communication is key if you don’t yet have a partner communicate yourself the space of your thought, life, and watch some porn if it disgust you, but you can’t stop watching stop watching it never indulge past the limits of your comfort

[qu****]

I talking about particularly the particular genres in porn porn and then the same in practice

[de****]

@quazibone - I don't know about that, I'm SUPER autistic so you have to ask me directly what you want to know - for example: I had an ex who did the same thing and kept asking me what porn I watch to find out what I was into, but I don't watch porn because my imagination is vivid as f**k so I sent him to the Muscle Mommies Insta because I was like.. I dunno, I guess these ladies here are pretty delicious...?
But if he'd have asked me how I wanted to be f**ked, he'd have gotten a VERY different answer. I just didn't know what he was trying to ask...

[ca****]

October 28, MisterGambit said:

Look y'all I'm in Portland. I know there's a big fet scene here but I'm so...Mister Rogers? Like how do I walk in and be like hey friends I wanna be squirted on and yelled at

Well Mister Rogers, get into the neighborhood and make friends with your neighbors 😏😊

[ca****]

Have courage, just start. Mistakes are a crucial part of learning and success. FAFO

[ca****]

On 10/24/2024 at 3:07 PM, MisterGambit said:

Y'all what the f**k is a munch

Go on FetLife* and join. Then go to their local Portland events section. Use ctrl-F to find events that are a "munch". It's a friendly intro meeting, a way to casually meet other kinky folks. There's nerd, bi, sober munches in Portland

Edited November 4, 2024 by FETMOD-TF
*External link removed

[Deleted Member]

You just gotta try it to find out

[Wh****]

Explain to me please

[tr****]

So the thingsvi dod when o was new was look at hentai and yake not of what i wanted to try out, then theres the question of *** of it looks like it would cause you mental or body altering damage. If it makes you feel bad to think about doing irl then thsts a limit, do younlike *** but not the idea of being pooped on then thats a limit. Just go through your thoughts and desires figure out your hard wants, mid interests, soft and hard limits. If your ever extremely interested in getting into something join a group on fetlife.com.
I welcome you to your kinky journey.

[pl****]

I say find a partner who is just open and willing and take turns with ur imagination. Or interest. There is no Ronnie right it’s all about finding a partner and exploring finding ur own “right “