Wanting advice: How to beg?

[Deleted Member]

My domme wants me to beg for things so thoroughly that I humiliate myself. She wants me to feel embarrassed when I think back to how deeply I grovelled. The problem is, I don't know how to that! I've tried to please her with my begging but she doesn't think I've begged well enough. The last time meant that she denied me from cumming. She says I need to learn hiw to beg properly.

I think a large part of my inability to beg properly is because I feel self-conscious. The absurdity of the situation is very apparent to me. I find it hard to let that go and be in the moment.

Please has anyone got advice for being able to improve my begging?

[MauroDraco]

If you feel like this, maybe you have already achieved what she wants. It may be a matter of she understanding or accepting it. You can also try asking, what about or how she concretely wants you to beg.

Beyond those points, it seems to be mostly an issue of following through, despite feeling it is weird or unreasonable to do so. A lot of times this is the point. That you reach a behavior in which she has the criterion of if or how it is weird or not and you simply trust her in this, thus conceding your power to her in doing so. And when she reminds you of it, she feels this concession of power again.

"***d" *** is mostly about the power exchange in it

[MauroDraco]

CNC humi li a tion is mostly...*

[Deleted Member]

Only she can help you out. Everyone likes different things. What one person enjoys another one hates. Ask her how exactly she wants you to beg.

[ey****]

ask her how she would like you to beg

honestly this is often a number 1 rule. If someone asks you to do something and you don't know how they'd like it - ask them 

[ka****]

The right question might be why she wants you to beg “properly” … it may be an exercise for you to really let go . If that was it , making you think about it was step 1. At the end begging needs to be authentic - if you only beg to please mechanically it may not be perceived authentic. Maybe try to beg for sth you really feel right away without her making you do so. And maybe out of a save space , eg if you dreamed stuff you really want her to do with you … call her and beg her on the phone (when she is not in the situation and active session role). Alternative: if it really frustrates you might even chose begging her to stop making you beg ;) - that I feel could be very authentic .

[Ph****]

She needs to teach you how she wants you to beg. My Dom also wants me to beg when I'm horny. It's not even a pride thing for me, it's that I was raised to not act like that and I don't feel it's sincere and it's just overly performative and just not natural for me. Have them be very specific what they consider to be begging and to what extent. Also every kink isnt for everybody, see if there's a compromise or something else you can do too

[Mi****]

I think this a question for her rather than us. Also just a quick note if you're finding it too much for you then that's okay too. Like someone else said before me every kink isn't for everyone. If it's not something that you feel like you want, then that's okay, but these conversations should be had with her.

[Goodbicpl]

And maybe she doesn’t want you to ever feel self conscious with her. And trying to get you out of your comfort zone will help you along the way. Try not thinking about, try and look at it as if the boot was on the other foot and they was the one begging. What would be something you would have them do to improve.

[Ve****]

From what I read, you Domme want something, but remain clearly lacking in explanation, teaching and training. Doesn't that make you think?

[No****]

I think you have to lean into the uncomfortable feeling, that self conscious feeling and the absurd. It is supposed to grate on you so can look back and feel embarrassed. Don’t overthink it

[TimberTara]

My advice is stop thinking about yourself and realize it’s not about you. It’s about her. Your role is to please her and if you can’t do that don’t step up to the plate. I had a similar situation where I reached to help my Dom after she fell off the bed, she screamed at me saying I didn’t ask for help. How dare I offer it without being instructed or commanded.

So the bottom line is do what she likes or forget about it move on

[Mi****]

If I made that request I would be looking for you to own it. Own how much you want to be my little bitch. The interesting thing is, if you could, it would open the door for you to be in deep sub space and build intimacy and connection. That being said, you’ll be ready when you’re ready. I think she’s looking for your vulnerability, but if something’s telling you not to be….i’d really consider that too.

[GreyHog]

In my opinion, begging is the beginning of a negotiation. I use my sub's begging to clue me in on how they are feeling or reacting to the current situation. Do they want more? Less? Allowing them to verbalize their wants or ***s lets me in on their thoughts. Plus, my sub may offer some tasty limit-pushing options.

[rg****]

I'm begging sir

[CuffLady]

It seems to me that she's not making you feel desperate enough. If she can get you so wrapped up in what the two of you are doing, your self-awareness should fall away. You'll beg with such need in your voice, in your body language, that it will please her. It also involves trust. You must be able to trust that she'll catch you when you fall... (So to speak)

[di****]

Keep a journal of your kinky thoughts only the Dom can read. Romance novels women live it is female oorn.

[Do****]

If a sub is consistent, patient, and isn't offended easily, he might gain her attention. Best case scenario; Suggestion, submit a petition, and express how you can be of use to her. Be creative in your words with genuine intention. So proceed to BEG, BEG, BEG . it's what you're supposed to do...

[Deleted Member]

Did you two ever resolve this? If so, what did she specifically want from you?

 

In my opinion, actual begging involves a sort of desperation or franticness in a person: it's not just kneeling with eyes downcast and asking, it's being seconds away from raising ones voice and making demands for whatever it is one wants, it's holding back tears with a trembling voice while requesting forgiveness. Begging is, as I understand it, highly emotional.

 

I have no idea if begging within kink - or what your domme is looking for - is similar to that.

[Female_diogenes]

I have the same kink, I love hearing begging, and doing it too actually, the key is understanding why she likes it and liking it yourself too. If you don't like it, you won't be good at it and won't want to do it. Which won't be hot unless that's a part of the kink for y'all 

[goon2yu]

It’s natural for a sub to have a strong desire to please his Domina, even when it’s an activity the sub might find awkward.

 

It would help if your Domina communicates what form of begging would please her. Just demanding that you beg might be too vague. After you have an idea what she desires, it might help if you use Method Acting rehearsal techniques, to envision the activity/begging she desires. The issue is you’re not FEELING the activity of begging. It would help if you look at your next session as a dramatic experience. But you have to first see in your minds eye how you would beg, before you can feel it. Also envision your Domina reactions as extremely pleased. Focus on emotional preparation, because if you can FEEL the part, you can DO the part. At the end of the day, we all enjoy what feels good to us. It's a matter of prior preparation and practice with imagination to program your subconscious to FEEL it, before you perform it.

 

Also practice begging in front of a mirror. Of course you'll laugh at yourself for the first 10 minutes. (Laughter is a great teacher). But the more you can FEEL the action, and also envision how it's pleasing your Domina, while transfixed in front of a mirror, is effective psychological preparation.  Have fun with it.

Edited April 5 by goon2yu