To all the goddess/mistress types

[AkkyKor]

😤🤦🏾‍♂️smh anyways

[AkkyKor]

😭😭yall all give rly good advice
Especially @DaddyDominia, I rly appreciate all of you, if anyone is interested in furthering conversations (along the same lines) lmk!!

[Da****]

3 minutes ago, AkkyKor said:

Kinda s***chless after that

Lmao that is a wiiiiiiild word to censor 🤣 this app does too much sometimes

[AkkyKor]

No srsly I was like “wtf did I say wrong”😭😭😭

[ey****]

25 minutes ago, AkkyKor said:

Had to see sum cause why can’t I say s***chless?

you'll love this

what letters are removed

give me a P

give me an E

give me another E

give me an over-sensitive word filter

there's the problem

[d_guglieme]

Why is that specific word filtered? (I mean, really, in this forum of all places?)


Joking aside, following for discussion.

[ey****]

20 minutes ago, dominionhub said:

Why is that specific word filtered? (I mean, really, in this forum of all places?)

according to other posts.

stuff like the app stores are being tighter on requirements and so the 'cost' of having an app is bowing to their demands.  Not helped that there are different regulations for adult content going through different stages in different countries - and a lot of sites are having to work out how to deal with this 

this site has gone for the strictest of censorship first with a view to keep turning things down on a trial and error basis.   

[Deleted Member]

I originally didn't seek financial reward. I wanted to connected with a male submissive who desire a flr or a femdom experience. Soon after some men thinks it's funny to ask for more and more while not doing anything I asked or what they agreed to. I ask that you offer to buy a cup of coffee or a bottle of wine or lunch for all the work I put into training you to be my slave. Especially after you ask to live with me and be my sex slave. It's not about finances. It's about energy exchange and some men are not giving. I tell everyone now I'm not the domme for them if you can't handle simple request. Being a domme is mentally and physically taxing and I have a life that requires my attention. If i have to stop what I'm doing and make sure you're keeping your chastity cage on, it's not worth it. Nothing in life is free.

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, VelvetOblivion said:

I originally didn't seek financial reward. I wanted to connected with a male submissive who desire a flr or a femdom experience. Soon after some men thinks it's funny to ask for more and more while not doing anything I asked or what they agreed to. I ask that you offer to buy a cup of coffee or a bottle of wine or lunch for all the work I put into training you to be my slave. Especially after you ask to live with me and be my sex slave. It's not about finances. It's about energy exchange and some men are not giving. I tell everyone now I'm not the domme for them if you can't handle simple request. Being a domme is mentally and physically taxing and I have a life that requires my attention. If i have to stop what I'm doing and make sure you're keeping your chastity cage on, it's not worth it. Nothing in life is free.

I used to give male subs leeway. But after one of them continued to demand things from me, without doing anything that I said, I don't have that patience anymore. If they annoy me, irritate me, make me frustrated, etc; I drop them right then.

 

I don't get male subs that refuse to want to follow orders and please their dominant. It always has to be only what they wany 🙄

[d_guglieme]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

according to other posts.

stuff like the app stores are being tighter on requirements and so the 'cost' of having an app is bowing to their demands.  Not helped that there are different regulations for adult content going through different stages in different countries - and a lot of sites are having to work out how to deal with this 

this site has gone for the strictest of censorship first with a view to keep turning things down on a trial and error basis.   

I see worse on FaceBook, on a regular basis.
(But, discussion of sex toys is okay? It is, especially here. But, the swear filter is bonkers.)

Back on topic: some of the dispute seems to be a mismatch between what people on both sides of the equation want. (Degrees of control or ***, etc.)

One thing that strikes me as odd about financial dominance is that the sub pays for the right to work, rather than being paid for their labor.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, dominionhub said:

One thing that strikes me as odd about financial dominance is that the sub pays for the right to work, rather than being paid for their labor.

umm, that's not financial domination at all. If a Domme needs a plumber she doesn't charge someone to do her plumbing, she pays a plumber.

Everyone's dynamic is worked on between them.  I don't even know why folk keep bringing up financial domination if it's not their kink or something they are genuinely interested in; especially on a website where it's  not permitted.   But, there's earlier comments that give more insight - repreparations' was DaddyDominas word - and to be honest, that's a good summary.

I guess; there's plenty of men who use a stay-at-home-wife as a free housekeeper/babysitter and pretend that's a good deal.  

[Co****]

Yesterday at 10:41 AM, DaddyDomina said:

First, this is a great question and a lot of Dominants use their power imbalance to take advantage in ways like this. All of my subs are different. Just like all Dominants are. I never expect all the same kinks from every single sub.
•
A good Dom will recognize that as well, and make it clear upfront, before *any* physical interaction, that they recognize and respect the limits of their sub. Unless cnc is something that the submissive has expressed interest in, and the specific scenario has been deeply discussed and agreed to by both partners, then this is not consensual and a BDSM relationship does not justify this.
•
The terms good sub and bad sub are relative tbh. When I think about subs I've had that I considered bad, it was because they were demanding things from me, arguing with me, and generally not being respectful and submissive.
•
Having a different set of desires and limits from your partner does not make you bad. No matter what the dynamic. Everyone has limits and boundaries and they are good.
•
I love when my subs set hard boundaries because it means they trust me enough to be honest, and it means that as their Dom, I have all the information I need to keep both of us safe. I would do absolutely anything to avoid a situation where my sub feels coerçed into something we are doing.
•
My goal is pleasure. For both of us. And even if the pleasure is impact play and involves ***, again, the goal is pleasure.
Never harm.
•
Enthusiastic consent can look different in bdsm vs vanilla sex, but that's why direct communication, the use of safe words, and checking in frequently during each scene is so important.

THIS ⬆️ exactly!
Nothing more to add than what has already been discussed.

[d_guglieme]

22 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

umm, that's not financial domination at all. If a Domme needs a plumber she doesn't charge someone to do her plumbing, she pays a plumber.

Everyone's dynamic is worked on between them.  I don't even know why folk keep bringing up financial domination if it's not their kink or something they are genuinely interested in; especially on a website where it's  not permitted.   But, there's earlier comments that give more insight - repreparations' was DaddyDominas word - and to be honest, that's a good summary.

I guess; there's plenty of men who use a stay-at-home-wife as a free housekeeper/babysitter and pretend that's a good deal.  

Financial dominance is a significant enough thing. I have been surprised at how common it is, and simply as a euphemism for illegal transactions.

Anyone searching for a domme has blundered across it, probably recently.

[FETMOD-BD]

Financial Dominance is not the topic of this thread, line drawn, no further discussion of FINDOM here please. 

[d_guglieme]

Sorry.

[Deleted Member]

If we're talking "someone submitting to sensation," usually at events that involve play. Indeed, I have a fan who I'm meeting up with at a mixer next week. Maybe I should pack nipple clamps!

 

If we're talking about someone who is looking for a service and play capital-R Relationship, it depends. If they can woo me with words, we can have an epistolary romance before actually meeting: not my favorite method because crap happens, but some people are just satisfying enough that I'm willing to make an exception to my "local folks only" policy. 

[Th****]

On 12/30/2024 at 12:03 AM, DaddyDomina said:

The simple answer:

Quality over Quantity. Just because there are lots of subs doesn't mean they are good subs.

Extended answer:

Many men are not submissive, but purely masochistic- whether they are aware of it or not. They treat online exchanges like transactions and like Dommes are vending machines for sexting, nudes, and punishment. All the while, never asking or seemingly considering what it is that pleases their Dominant. There is no difference between them and an average, useless, misogynistic, vanilla man who uses women's bodies for their gratification.

A true sub has the desires and pleasure of their dominant at the forefront of their priorities. Honestly? How do we choose? By spending our time finding needles in haystacks of disappointment and wasted time.

It's also worth noting that I get messages from "Dominant" men begging me to top them nearly as often as I get messages from subs. So now imagine my inbox of sub-mail and double it.

Us Dominas are putting in a LOT of work and time behind the scenes to vet you all just for you to disappoint us, and or put us in unpleasant situations.

Allow me to remind you all that even though we may be Dominant in ourselves and the bedroom, every single time we meet with a male stranger on the internet it is a potential RISK for us.

I think the better question is why the quality of male submissives is so low that stunning Dommes, Mistresses, Goddesses, and Dominas like me are struggling to find safe sane, and consensual partners when submissives do outnumber us.

All of this and what most of the other Dom women have said as well. Dominant women aren't *actually* in short supply. They're in hiding and/or have disguised themselves in online spaces so they're not recognized by the sort they do not seek. 

The true shortage is actual submissive men. Most who claim to be aren't necessarily masochists but are certainly bottoms who are looking for service tops and don't actually want a Dominant. 

Can we stop referring to these men as "submissive" and instead encourage the language like "men who seek Dominant women" and more discussion on the difference between sub/bottom and Dominant/top. I'm so over people using "dom" as a verb when they mean top. 

[Th****]

On 12/30/2024 at 5:53 AM, SmplyTheBest said:

Oddly enough, the sub be picks the Dom. In order to give power away, I have to be worthy to receive it. Otherwise it is ***.

It appears you don't realize where you've wandered and have gotten a bit lost. 

 

[ey****]

36 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

The true shortage is actual submissive men. Most who claim to be aren't necessarily masochists but are certainly bottoms who are looking for service tops and don't actually want a Dominant. 

 

There's a very good post it's a shame can't be posted here

but it's on the website "History of the Dominatrix" and it's entitled "The Do Me sub : A masochist in submissive disguise" 

It's a long read; but something I've cited a lot of guys should read in the past (it can also be good reading for some Dommes in the sense... in some cases can be the answer to "I have subs but feel exhausted...") 

[Th****]

12 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

There's a very good post it's a shame can't be posted here

but it's on the website "History of the Dominatrix" and it's entitled "The Do Me sub : A masochist in submissive disguise" 

It's a long read; but something I've cited a lot of guys should read in the past (it can also be good reading for some Dommes in the sense... in some cases can be the answer to "I have subs but feel exhausted...") 

The title sounds familiar, I'm sure I've read numerous similar writings on FL if not that exact one and have participated in numerous discussions. I dislike the narrowing of calling them "masochists" as that's a specific type of bottom and not all who claim to be subs are masochists while they're definitely "do me" bottoms. I also dislike the equation of masochist = submissive. One can be masochistic as well as Dominant, submissive or neither. 

[ey****]

44 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

The title sounds familiar, I'm sure I've read numerous similar writings on FL if not that exact one and have participated in numerous discussions. I dislike the narrowing of calling them "masochists" as that's a specific type of bottom and not all who claim to be subs are masochists while they're definitely "do me" bottoms. I also dislike the equation of masochist = submissive. One can be masochistic as well as Dominant, submissive or neither. 

I'm going to say when someone first linked the blog elsewhere I didn't agree with the title or some of the wording for the reasons you've mentioned.

The general sentiment of it (and, well, may others) I do agree with.

There was also a big point that even being a 'Do Me' type wasn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as you don't try to fool yourself or others and accept boundaries and limitations.   It was a bad thing when you're trying to impress people looking for a sub. 

[Th****]

7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

There was also a big point that even being a 'Do Me' type wasn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as you don't try to fool yourself or others and accept boundaries and limitations.   It was a bad thing when you're trying to impress people looking for a sub. 

Precisely. Too many who are doing the equivalent of going to a butcher shop and looking for/demanding they have birthday cakes.

Edited January 4, 2025 by ThaliaV

[as****]

Welp, I am super interested in the feedback on this initial post. I did learn that I have no idea of the language you all are using. Closest I could come up with is goddess. I just want to be really, really nice to a woman, without someone abusing me. I still don’t know the term for that.

[as****]

Damn you can’t edit here - *really, really want to be nice

[d_guglieme]

3 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

All of this and what most of the other Dom women have said as well. Dominant women aren't *actually* in short supply. They're in hiding and/or have disguised themselves in online spaces so they're not recognized by the sort they do not seek. 

The true shortage is actual submissive men. Most who claim to be aren't necessarily masochists but are certainly bottoms who are looking for service tops and don't actually want a Dominant. 

Can we stop referring to these men as "submissive" and instead encourage the language like "men who seek Dominant women" and more discussion on the difference between sub/bottom and Dominant/top. I'm so over people using "dom" as a verb when they mean top. 

If dommes are hiding, that actually makes it harder for subs to find them (unless the dommes are being exceptionally pro-active in their searches).

Hiding/disguising seems to defeat the purpose of being online, particularly with social media.