To all the goddess/mistress types

[Da****]

38 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'll tell you my findings.

The whole supply/demand thing is grossly exaggerated.

A reality is that - actually, finding a relationship etc can be hard. But there's stuff we all can be guilty of that makes it harder.    

So saying things like "there are far more sub men than Dominant women" is a comfort blanket rather than the truth.  It gives people a little comfort above "finding a relationship is hard" but also an excuse for their/our own shortfalls.

But also it can be demotivating, that there are people cling to this blanket a little *too* hard and it makes them think "what is the point?" rather than doing things which increases their visibility or potential.

Some of the common pitfalls guys fall into is that they put fetish first, so this makes a lot of women think the guys are interested in the fetish - not them (and, to be honest, this is true of a lot of guys I'm afraid) and especially if you want anything 'serious' or long term then you need a lot more in common than "I like to suck toes, she likes her toes sucked" 

Whilst the gap between sub guys and Dominant women is narrower than a lot would imply; it could be narrower again if more guys used their 'submission' to benefit women.   

The other issue is guys often look the wrong way - so they will say that women are only after payment or not really Dominant, or this or that or whatever - but then not look at all of the guys who are only after gratification, or play, or whatever (whatever they may otherwise claim!) 

Like, fetish wise - you can see from someone's profile what they're into and if there's overlap - maybe make a first message one about... getting to know them. 

Ngl this is a rewording of what myself and other Dommes have already said in this thread. 🙄🥱
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But of course there's a greater chance of him comprehending the same, exact concept as long as it's coming from another man, so best of luck to you I guess 🍀

[Du****]

54 minutes ago, DaddyDomina said:

Low and behold! A man asks Dominas a question and gets answers from one but it isn't what he wants to hear so he blocks them.
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Thank you astoria181736 for posing such a good question and turning yourself into the answer. Bravo 👏🏽 I couldn't have written it better myself.

I’ve just blocked another bad take from this thread for sending me *** via DM. They cannot help but show themselves, can they?

[Da****]

11 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I’ve just blocked another bad take from this thread for sending me *** via DM. They cannot help but show themselves, can they?

That's not very submissive behavior for a Male Submission discussion 🤔 soooo strange.
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It's almost like they go out of their way to prove us right while showing how big of a tantrum they can throw on their way out.

[Deleted Member]

That's not true submissiveness at all, they're just pretenders

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Lady_King said:

My god well said.

💯!!! I’m behind to see that lot of them are bottoms and not submissive.

[Da****]

3 hours ago, astoria181736 said:

I do appreciate all this convo btw. I’m new here. Figuring it out.

Appreciated the convo but blocked the Dommes who responded. 🤣
He must have meant he's new to Earth.

[Da****]

3 minutes ago, Buttercup32 said:

💯!!! I’m behind to see that lot of them are bottoms and not submissive.

It explains so much, doesn't it? Most men have absolutely no idea how to actually submit or what it even means.
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They don't want Dommes, they want a service sub.

[AkkyKor]

@daddydomina

[AkkyKor]

I’d like to ask you something

[AkkyKor]

Okay, so you have your Sub male and dominant person (male,female,non -binary ect) and our male is willing to do anything under the sun for his dom.. except penetration. Would denying this pleasure make him a bad sub? Where is the line between comfortable submission and actually submitting to EVERYTHING your partner wants regardless of whether or not you are comfortable?!

[AkkyKor]

(Question for anyone really, just was hoping to get some understanding!! <3)

[Deleted Member]

54 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I’ve just blocked another bad take from this thread for sending me *** via DM. They cannot help but show themselves, can they?

This is why I love the inbox filters.  They send me gifts trying to get my attention. Then they get all mad and stomp and yell because they can't message me; and I refuse to acknowledge them. That's the whole point dum dum 🙄

[Da****]

21 minutes ago, AkkyKor said:

Okay, so you have your Sub male and dominant person (male,female,non -binary ect) and our male is willing to do anything under the sun for his dom.. except penetration. Would denying this pleasure make him a bad sub? Where is the line between comfortable submission and actually submitting to EVERYTHING your partner wants regardless of whether or not you are comfortable?!

First, this is a great question and a lot of Dominants use their power imbalance to take advantage in ways like this. All of my subs are different. Just like all Dominants are. I never expect all the same kinks from every single sub.
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A good Dom will recognize that as well, and make it clear upfront, before *any* physical interaction, that they recognize and respect the limits of their sub. Unless cnc is something that the submissive has expressed interest in, and the specific scenario has been deeply discussed and agreed to by both partners, then this is not consensual and a BDSM relationship does not justify this.
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The terms good sub and bad sub are relative tbh. When I think about subs I've had that I considered bad, it was because they were demanding things from me, arguing with me, and generally not being respectful and submissive.
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Having a different set of desires and limits from your partner does not make you bad. No matter what the dynamic. Everyone has limits and boundaries and they are good.
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I love when my subs set hard boundaries because it means they trust me enough to be honest, and it means that as their Dom, I have all the information I need to keep both of us safe. I would do absolutely anything to avoid a situation where my sub feels coerçed into something we are doing.
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My goal is pleasure. For both of us. And even if the pleasure is impact play and involves ***, again, the goal is pleasure.
Never harm.
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Enthusiastic consent can look different in bdsm vs vanilla sex, but that's why direct communication, the use of safe words, and checking in frequently during each scene is so important.

[AkkyKor]

10 minutes ago, DaddyDomina said:

First, this is a great question and a lot of Dominants use their power imbalance to take advantage in ways like this. All of my subs are different. Just like all Dominants are. I never expect all the same kinks from every single sub.
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A good Dom will recognize that as well, and make it clear upfront, before *any* physical interaction, that they recognize and respect the limits of their sub. Unless cnc is something that the submissive has expressed interest in, and the specific scenario has been deeply discussed and agreed to by both partners, then this is not consensual and a BDSM relationship does not justify this.
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The terms good sub and bad sub are relative tbh. When I think about subs I've had that I considered bad, it was because they were demanding things from me, arguing with me, and generally not being respectful and submissive.
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Having a different set of desires and limits from your partner does not make you bad. No matter what the dynamic. Everyone has limits and boundaries and they are good.
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I love when my subs set hard boundaries because it means they trust me enough to be honest, and it means that as their Dom, I have all the information I need to keep both of us safe. I would do absolutely anything to avoid a situation where my sub feels coerçed into something we are doing.
•
My goal is pleasure. For both of us. And even if the pleasure is impact play and involves ***, again, the goal is pleasure.
Never harm.
•
Enthusiastic consent can look different in bdsm vs vanilla sex, but that's why direct communication, the use of safe words, and checking in frequently during each scene is so important.

I can genuinely say that this is the best answer i could have asked for😭💯❤️ so thank you!!! , I never knew that I enjoyed being dominated until recently, but the more I experience and learn , the more I realize that I prefer pleasing than being pleased . My last question (I can almost guarantee you that this is a lie) is : is there a difference between a person who is submissive and a person who likes being dominated? My head tells me that there is, but I’d like a third party opinion (or 4th ,5th, and 6th opinion)

[Sm****]

Oddly enough, the sub be picks the Dom. In order to give power away, I have to be worthy to receive it. Otherwise it is ***.

[Deleted Member]

31 minutes ago, AkkyKor said:

Okay, so you have your Sub male and dominant person (male,female,non -binary ect) and our male is willing to do anything under the sun for his dom.. except penetration. Would denying this pleasure make him a bad sub? Where is the line between comfortable submission and actually submitting to EVERYTHING your partner wants regardless of whether or not you are comfortable?!

It all depends on if the dominant wants POV or not.  It's all about finding someone with similar interests. I would never do CBT with someone who hated it. Not having penetrative sex with a dominant who uses that as part of her domination is pretty pointless and frustrating on her part.

I had one idiot actually tell me that he didn't want penetration at all (in his first message). He clearly didn't read my profile and what I'm into. I asked for clarification and he doubled down saying that he did read my profile and that he was adamant on no penetration. I instantly blocked him.

[AkkyKor]

Thank you for breaking it down so I could emphasize with the dominant, I would also be frustrated, what I gathered is actually so simple I guess I could have thought of it myself.. communication 😂😂❤️(he’s clearly inbred, I don’t blame you for blocking him) (the inbred thing was a joke , pls dont cancel me)😭😭😭

[Deleted Member]

54 minutes ago, Buttercup32 said:

💯!!! I’m behind to see that lot of them are bottoms and not submissive.

Beginning^

[Da****]

26 minutes ago, AkkyKor said:

I can genuinely say that this is the best answer i could have asked for😭💯❤️ so thank you!!! , I never knew that I enjoyed being dominated until recently, but the more I experience and learn , the more I realize that I prefer pleasing than being pleased . My last question (I can almost guarantee you that this is a lie) is : is there a difference between a person who is submissive and a person who likes being dominated? My head tells me that there is, but I’d like a third party opinion (or 4th ,5th, and 6th opinion)

Oh babe, don't even worry about labels yet. I started as a submissive years and years ago just because that's what I thought I was expected and supposed to do for men.
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It wasn't until I was in a session as a sub with a Dom, and I guess I was being exceedingly ornery because he looked at me and just said "are you sure you're submissive?" And that was the first time I considered that it was an *option*.
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I did a lot of internal searching about the motives for the things I wanted. I think a lot of it is about context and motivation. I realized that I wasn't getting pleasure being submissive, only performing it and wondering why I wasn't enjoying myself like I saw other subs.
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I call myself a Domina or a Dominant on here because it's an easy way to sum up that I'm not looking for a dominant and that I enjoy control, but truly? The label hedonist would probably suit me better. I simply like pleasure. Sometimes that looks like Sadistic impact play, and sometimes that looks like being held and kissed.
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You may be dominant, submissive, a switch who likes to do a bit of both, or you may find you're something else entirely. Doms and Subs aren't the only options, they're just the most famous.
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Don't worry, BDSM is a spectrum just like gender, and you don't have to fall within any binary or commit to one forever. For example, a service sub may enjoy topping their partner but ultimately only at the request of their dominant and because it brings their partner pleasure. Vs a dominant who enjoys topping their partner because it brings *them* pleasure.
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Labels will fall into place whenever they're meant to. The point is for self-exploration and for you to find what you like and whatever works best for you. It's about listening to your body and not feeling shame for the things you do and do not like ♡

[AkkyKor]

🥹💚

[AkkyKor]

Damn

[AkkyKor]

Kinda s***chless after that

[AkkyKor]

Bro did the peach

[AkkyKor]

Okay

[AkkyKor]

Had to see sum cause why can’t I say s***chless?