To all the goddess/mistress types

[ey****]

1 hour ago, dominionhub said:

If dommes are hiding, that actually makes it harder for subs to find them (unless the dommes are being exceptionally pro-active in their searches).

Hiding/disguising seems to defeat the purpose of being online, particularly with social media.

This is why it's important to understand why.

In a lot of cases it's about trying to see something from someone else's perspective.  

Because they put on their profile that they're interested in being a Domme - and they get messages from men, globally, asking them to be their Domme. From guys either desperate for any little crumb, or who are going to try to use her inexperience to top from the bottom.

 

[Th****]

3 hours ago, dominionhub said:

If dommes are hiding, that actually makes it harder for subs to find them (unless the dommes are being exceptionally pro-active in their searches).

Hiding/disguising seems to defeat the purpose of being online, particularly with social media.

The reason some women hide online (no matter their role and no matter the site) is because of the harassment from men.

I have never seen so many angry men until I refuse to play into their fantasies. As said in this thread before; far too many male submissives aren't even submissive. They randomly message women with their lists of what they want us to do to them. They don't want to give up any kind of control. And they really don't like being told no.

[Odd-1086]

Yes. You're right. But there are so many more scammers to actual Mistresses. Please tell me where I can actually find a Mistress. Some one who wants a service slaves in a tpe24/7 flr. Because from my experience,  they do not exist

[Da****]

9 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

All of this and what most of the other Dom women have said as well. Dominant women aren't *actually* in short supply. They're in hiding and/or have disguised themselves in online spaces so they're not recognized by the sort they do not seek. 

The true shortage is actual submissive men. Most who claim to be aren't necessarily masochists but are certainly bottoms who are looking for service tops and don't actually want a Dominant. 

Can we stop referring to these men as "submissive" and instead encourage the language like "men who seek Dominant women" and more discussion on the difference between sub/bottom and Dominant/top. I'm so over people using "dom" as a verb when they mean top. 

I agree! And you're right, I was thinking of my own subs when I said masochists, but bottoming is a more accurate term for what these men are generally looking for. They want a woman/afab/femme/noncismale to top them in whatever way that pleases *them*, while ultimately retaining their power and control throughout. Or they are looking for a top to *perform* a very specific scenario for them in which they are a bottom, but are not interested in submitting.

[Da****]

1 hour ago, Odd-1086 said:

Yes. You're right. But there are so many more scammers to actual Mistresses. Please tell me where I can actually find a Mistress. Some one who wants a service slaves in a tpe24/7 flr. Because from my experience,  they do not exist

🤨🙄 you haven't been listening.
We are literally right here telling you why it takes us so long to sort through all these men and then once we've done that, just because you're a submissive and I'm a Domina does not mean we are a good match. There are many actual submissives I have turned down because we were simply incompatible.
Scammers 🙄
•
WE could tell you about scammers.
All the "submissives" we spend time vetting, feel compatability with, and make definitive plans with, only for them to be too scared to actually show up in person after weeks of planning.
•
I have been ghosted and stood up by so many "subs" once we start to get serious. For a lot of men, they can't handle more than the fantasy of submission.
Do you comprehend how much of our time is absolutely wasted?
And there are soooooo many reasons I completely ignore profiles.
•
If you have nothing filled out and all the answers are "ask me" or your limits say "idk/none" that's an immediate turn off. If you immediately get sexual in my inbox, that's a turn off. And if you have the audacity to message me something that shows you clearly haven't read my profile, then I am weaning you out of the list.
•
Those are my specific turn offs. It would do you well to remember that we are all just individual human beings and not animatronic vessels for dominating. We have preferences and standards. There could be a lot of "true subs" who never make it past hello for any of the above reasons or many others I haven't listed.
•
"In my experience they do not exist"
It sounds like you're not approaching the right people in the right way. Because there is no shortage of noncismale Dominants. You shouldn't be shocked that we have a low acceptance rate. Why would we not have high standards?
•
And as for why Dommes aren't always blatant and bold on their profiles? (Which is hilarious coming from men who can barely ever be assed to fill out any of it but still expect you to know that they're dominant)
•
Not only are we harassed by subs, we are harassed by male doms who see us as a challenge- or as a personal threat to their masculinity.
•
I get harassed in lots of ways by men on here, and other apps like this, regardless of their proclaimed identity. Lots of misogynistic men get mad when they see confident noncismen in powerful positions. And we all know how emotional men can get when they feel threatened.

[Th****]

3 hours ago, Odd-1086 said:

Yes. You're right. But there are so many more scammers to actual Mistresses. Please tell me where I can actually find a Mistress. Some one who wants a service slaves in a tpe24/7 flr. Because from my experience,  they do not exist

As said far too many times in this thread, male submissives are far more often the scammers because they aren't actually submissive. They don't understand that a submissive gives up control and doesn't make a list of demands that has to done to them.

I once had a a guy stating that he wanted to be a live-in slave 24/7TPE. All that jazz. But after talking to him, he clearly had no idea what any of those meant outside of his own fantasy world. He actually hated everything he said he wanted.

Edited January 5 by TheMacabreBrat
Typo

[ey****]

7 hours ago, Odd-1086 said:

But there are so many more scammers to actual Mistresses.

Not really.

Here's a thing. If you message 100 women on fetish sites asking to be your Mistress (or similar...) the scammers will reply, some who offer Pro services will reply, "genuine" will not reply cos they'll see you're more interested in the fantasy than them; the question - why are you messaging so many people in the first place?

7 hours ago, Odd-1086 said:

Some one who wants a service slaves in a tpe24/7 flr.

TPE 24/7 is a destination not a starting point.

Like, let's look in vanilla world. You would never, ever, expect to get anywhere if you approached a woman and said "I want to get married, with 2 kids, a couple of dogs, and a house in a suburban neighbourhood" - for many reasons.   

As both DaddyDomina and TheMacabreBrat say above - generally when guys say this as a starting point they turn out to be fantasists and what they have in their fantasy does not match reality.

So if you use this as a starting point, you are unlikely to get any responses.  And even going to meets in person and talking with folk about what you're looking for might get you a "good luck with that" 

And, ahem, this is something many women have pointed out on this thread - if you're not willing to listen to what they are saying, you are not ready for a female LED relationship.  

[Th****]

9 hours ago, Odd-1086 said:

Yes. You're right. But there are so many more scammers to actual Mistresses. Please tell me where I can actually find a Mistress. Some one who wants a service slaves in a tpe24/7 flr. Because from my experience,  they do not exist

You need to do your own work and not rely on others. Plus low-key posting personal ads disguised as a helpful reply isn't a good look.

[Gr****]

On 1/4/2025 at 6:45 PM, Odd-1086 said:

Please tell me where I can actually find a Mistress. Some one who wants a service slaves in a tpe24/7 flr. Because from my experience,  they do not exist

In person, at kink events in your area. You are more likely to find lifestyle dominants out in the wild where they are interacting with their local community. According to a certain kinky social networking website, as of this writing there are 218 events coming up in the area you list on your profile.

 

Munches, vendor fairs, classes, talks, workshops, newbie events, sensation tastings, conventions, retreats, campouts, etc. are a great way to dip your toe in, meet people, get introduced to other people, etc. You're not going to be instantly assigned a dominant at your first event, but it's amazing what can one can discover upon stepping away from he keyboard.

[2nd2none79]

Wow this turned into a whole lot . It was a simple question. I look for  intelligence, mental stability, a willingness to learn , and communication.

[Lemonade]

On 1/4/2025 at 9:45 PM, Odd-1086 said:

Yes. You're right. But there are so many more scammers to actual Mistresses. Please tell me where I can actually find a Mistress. Some one who wants a service slaves in a tpe24/7 flr. Because from my experience,  they do not exist

I agree that there are a lot of scammers trying to take advantage of genuine and unsuspecting people, but I don't agree with your assessment that there are no dominants in existence who want a service slave.  I know this because I was a service slave for two women in my journey into submissiveness.  I served each one at different times in my journey, and neither was as a 24/7 slave, but I strongly believe either would've turned into one if I had reached true submissiveness at that time.  What I mean by that is, at that time of my journey, I was too caught up in what I wanted and needed from those situations instead of the other way around.   There's absolutely a learning curve involved in becoming a true submissive; it took me about 26 years to achieve.   For every "submissive" out there, you need to ask yourself one thing - "Am I able to give up control and adapt my life to suit my owner's needs?"   Because that's what it takes to serve a woman.  If you're working, your direct deposit should go into your owner's bank account; she will provide you with a monthly allowance. If she asks you to do something, it's an immediate response with zero delay (even if it's at 2 am and you're extremely tired).  If she's working you must support her in every aspect to ensure her success.   The clothes that you wear, the books you read, the friends you keep, the foods you eat, etc. should all be vetted and approved by your owner.  Your owner's wants, needs, and desires should be your only purpose in life.  I wish all the subs out there strength and courage in your journey and much success in serving your dominant owner.            

[Female_diogenes]

How I define a submissive is a man who will do what *I* want. Regardless of what it is. So if he's doing these two specific things he's not a submissive because he's not doing what I want: 

1. Coming up with the ideas (creativity)

2. Asking for them (initiating)

And so many men are like "But no mommy I want to be tied up and *** gangbang ***d by 100 black men till I'm gapping-" it doesn't matter how masochistic or submissive the fantasy is. Because those two things are happening, I don't see him as a submissive. Men get so confused about that because even as self labeled submissives their brains go stupid the moment a woman won't service their needs exclusively like a slave with no mind or ideas of her own

[Female_diogenes]

On 12/30/2024 at 6:52 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

you'll love this

what letters are removed

give me a P

give me an E

give me another E

give me an over-sensitive word filter

there's the problem

S***ch is definitely the word being censored 

[Female_diogenes]

It's so sad how men say there's more submissive men than dominant women therefore a femdom should never be single. When what they mean is there's submissive men who tell women want they want, so there are no submissive men, because that's not submissive. Because I know what I want so why would his needs matter? And you can see this even comparing how sub men and sub women talk. Sub women list their limits. The right way. Allowing the Dom men to create what they want first. Sub men never do this. Because just like Dom men they expect women to obey their needs, wishes, desires, and commands. And it's obvious. If I'm going to do stuff that someone else wants and they are in control I might as well be submissive myself because what do I get out of it otherwise if the sub won't pay me to obey what he wants? If I'm playing the role of a submissive woman to a maledom I'm automatically dominating the majority of submissive men by doing that because I'm doing what they wish they could, fucking men, and what they wish a Dom woman would *** them to do as sissies, which is obey men, suck dicks, take dicks. Subbing to a man in a very conventional sense as a Dom woman is the best way to take care of the vast majority of sub men's needs even if they are strangers because that cucks them and makes them jealous and envious. Because the ultimate submission to them is the thought of turning into a woman and doing that themselves. That's why all cucks you meet are so controlling about who you sleep with. Because they wish to possess your body in order to submit to men themselves. But it's far too late for them to transition since they long ago went through wrong puberty and can't therefore achieve the same feminine look as a afab never gone on hormones

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Female_diogenes said:

S***ch is definitely the word being censored 

yep, an irony in itself. 

[Female_diogenes]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

yep, an irony in itself. 

Why? Just about 2 years ago or so I had been experimenting with making people stop talking by what I said to them. Just online. I nicknamed it total laryngectomy, because that's the name of the only surgery I have been able to find that can remove your voice entirely. Leaving your tongue intact which was the classic way to silence slaves, back in ancient times, but obviously he's gonna need the tongue. Around that time in a bdsm discord server there was a woman who said her boyfriend stopped talking entirely "after a conversation with a woman" and she was desperate to find out how to bring his s***ch back. Then there's a more famous example, Greta Thunberg. Before she became a famous environmental activist she stopped talking for years because of the *** of witnessing pollution and climate change. When she found her voice again she got famous for what she was saying to try to stop those things. So it makes sense that s***ch can be relevant to something dangerous that requires censorship, because of it's power. But it's not something I think about unless I see the word censored so maybe since it's a forum and we are mainly using written words, that's done on purpose to make you think about it through the reverse psychology of censorship 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Female_diogenes said:

since it's a forum and we are mainly using written words, that's done on purpose to make you think about it through the reverse psychology of censorship 

nah, it's the 'word blacklist' - it's still being calibrated but still is over sensitive

The word p / e / e is on the blacklist

and so because of it those letters are removed in s/ p/e/e / ch

so the word s***ch is literally censored by the overzealous blacklist. 

[Female_diogenes]

39 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

nah, it's the 'word blacklist' - it's still being calibrated but still is over sensitive

The word p / e / e is on the blacklist

and so because of it those letters are removed in s/ p/e/e / ch

so the word s***ch is literally censored by the overzealous blacklist. 

I don't think that's it. I think less letters are censored so you can guess what it is and I'm right about what I said 

[Female_diogenes]

I say that because the bot can see when there's letters next to a word. For example if I tell you I ***ted a picture the bot won't censor the letters that's another word for when you don't feel well that's normally fully censored

Well, nevermind I guess. You are right and I was thinking way too hard about it thinking the creators of this site actually knew what they were doing 

Well, a second nevermind to that nevermind. ***ted was originally censored, now isn't 

Edited February 3 by Female_diogenes

[ey****]

the site owners have confirmed this elsewhere. 

[Female_diogenes]

3 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the site owners have confirmed this elsewhere. 

Proof that AI aren't taking all the jobs I suppose 

[dominionhub]

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

nah, it's the 'word blacklist' - it's still being calibrated but still is over sensitive

The word p / e / e is on the blacklist

and so because of it those letters are removed in s/ p/e/e / ch

so the word s***ch is literally censored by the overzealous blacklist. 

Why are those 3 letters removed? (That is a very sensitive swear filter.)

[dominionhub]

11 hours ago, Female_diogenes said:

How I define a submissive is a man who will do what *I* want. Regardless of what it is. So if he's doing these two specific things he's not a submissive because he's not doing what I want: 

1. Coming up with the ideas (creativity)

2. Asking for them (initiating)

And so many men are like "But no mommy I want to be tied up and *** gangbang ***d by 100 black men till I'm gapping-" it doesn't matter how masochistic or submissive the fantasy is. Because those two things are happening, I don't see him as a submissive. Men get so confused about that because even as self labeled submissives their brains go stupid the moment a woman won't service their needs exclusively like a slave with no mind or ideas of her own

Part of it might also be how well what the sub is willing to do corresponds to what the domme wants of/from the sub.

[ey****]

40 minutes ago, dominionhub said:

Why are those 3 letters removed? (That is a very sensitive swear filter.)

cos the word it spells is one on a list of words that the app stores take objection to.

more info here : 

 

[Th****]

On 1/4/2025 at 4:39 PM, dominionhub said:

If dommes are hiding, that actually makes it harder for subs to find them (unless the dommes are being exceptionally pro-active in their searches).

Hiding/disguising seems to defeat the purpose of being online, particularly with social media.

You need to read what I said again and actually listen to comprehend. 

 

On 1/4/2025 at 12:58 PM, ThaliaV said:

They're in hiding and/or have disguised themselves in online spaces so they're not recognized by the sort they do not seek. 

*So they're not recognized by the sort they DO NOT SEEK*

They literally do not want to be "found" by those who are unqualified.

Therefore, it does not "defeat the purpose of being online" as their purpose for being online isn't necessarily the same as your reason for being online. *Especially* on social media.