Bl**** Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 In these days and times people unfortunately view DOMINATION & SUBMISSION as something one can change in and out of like one change underwear or a new outfit. Unfortunately this mindset has caused a great deal of distress in the BDSM community at large, creating a large amount of fake "Dom's" only using potential real slaves for their sexual, lustful needs. Conversely there are now a large group of unruly "slaves" demanding their Masters time with no real intent to develop in any structural way. I'm what you would call a veteran in BDSM and my generation worked towards building up slaves to be in good service to their Master, akin to how a Sargent would train a soldier. BDSM for the most part has turned into a bunch of selfish, self-centered addicts bastardising a once powerful art. Now, I am by no means stating that modern bdsm is not without its place, what I am saying is that it seems that the real slaves are now joining the military in the hopes to gain the structure that once could be provided by a skilled DOM without ever having to set foot on the battlefield. This message is to all the real MASTERS, DOM'S we all need to come together and redirect the focus to the right areas and provide the services needed to allow those who are truly looking to serve a place to flourish. Yours truly BLACKMOMBA
So**** Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 I think first we need to weed out the fake accounts and scammers before there's ever a chance to change the core of the BDSM community.
So**** Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 I'm new to this, but as a firm believer to one night stands; I like BDSM just how it is, thanks. I don't need someone ordering me around outside the bedroom, and honestly? Even as a switch I wouldn't order someone around in a relationship. If you're into that, great, but make sure your partner is okay with that too before you go and assume things. BDSM is supposed to be fun and kinky for both parties, yeah; but consent is the most important thing.
ey**** Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 By contrast I somewhat feel the attitude of "how it was" as "how it should be" to be deeply unhealthy. But it's the notion of "real" that, I dunno... "real slaves" were set free after the American Civil War. But individuals have different ideas and desires in what they look for and offer in a relationship. Whether this is some form of strict D/s or whether it's just casual weekend kinky fun doing something that excites them. And, it's all good. And it's all valid. I think there are a lot more ideas under the umbrella and I think it makes for a richer environment.
Deleted Member Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 The reality is that bdsm gone viral and mainstream. Porn didn’t help ! Kids learn early about rough sex and all that bdsm stuff without learning the basic first. It’s the way society is now. It’s up to the slave/subs to decide what kind of Dom/Master they want to risk their experience with. how many time I saw on profile slave while the person is 19? 🤷♂️
ey**** Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 I kinda see things in different waves like; there are thousands of years history in BDSM with evidence that a lot was just, ultimately, casual kinky fun But, post WWII - what we started to learn as the kink 'scene' was just straight guys copying from the gay scene and assorted literature and this created a fusion. With the lack of internet, a lot of fetish and kink communities, grew independently. The kinda "old school BDSM" often talked about only has circa 50 years history out of thousands of years - and a lot of communities grew and had their own protocols - but, there were still folk who just had casual kinky fun. Just a bit, never the twain shall meet. Until stuff like the internet, munches, a commercial fetish scene put folk all under one roof and kinda made them all talk to each other despite there being rank differences. Add then in, as Severus says, freely available (read: stolen) porn that a lot of kids watch without context and it brews all these other ideas on "I wanna do that!" and yeah, we really do have a modern myriad. But, it's good to work to coexist.
Deleted Member Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) A good example, today because I have time I spend my time chatting with unusual profiles. They respond fast then disappear! One day they are friends next they block you. They send you a pic next they ask you for ***. but when you find the real one, that pearl it’s a good feeling Edited March 21, 2020 by Deleted Member
ph**** Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 I have have never done anything like this before only read about it and has become my fantasy since then i really want to be a sub 😔
Si**** Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 I would like to build a bdsm like bed and breakfast where people in the tristate area (North Dakota, South dakota and Minnesota) can just relax, have fun. I'm wanting to learn both being a sub and dom
ReddRabbit Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 New to this site but I’ve been around in the Life for a very long time, - I think it’s safe to say 21 years is a long time, and I’m not even counting my ***age years because I was very much learning and didn’t have a name for what I was until I was 19. However. I performed for a few years and showed kink photo art at events and was very active until I needed to take time out because of personal reasons. I’ve been slowly coming back recently and yes, things are different. But as as Switch, I’ve always found this attitude of “We Doms need to take things in hand” as rather unhelpful. And I’ve Dommed professionally so I’m not being “bratty”. Subs have just as much place and say in our community and it’s time we recognize this. Anyone in the Lifestyle knows - or should know - that there’s a very complex balance of power going on here, when it comes to the D/s dynamic, and that when the rubber hits the road, the sub says when to stop. It’s a CONSENSUAL exchange of power and we all know it. So let’s drop all that. I do have much love and respect for the way I was brought up in the community - the structure and beauty of it has been somewhat lost perhaps, in the influx of its popularity. But not entirely. One can still go to Shibari classes, for instance, to find structure. We as older practitioners can insist on structure with our Doms/Dommes and subs. It’s how I do it. It works. As for the rest of it, yes, the new guard will always change the old guard way of doing things. It’s called evolution. I recently spent several hours with a young Dom who was refreshingly adept at dealing with my switch side, and it was a revelation to me. I learned new dynamics and power plays and at 40, that’s ***y fantastic. And yeah, he kept my arse in line when it needed checking. We older (ugh!) guard and the new guard have many things we can give to each other if we can drop the attitude and have fun and respect for each other. As for the rest, the wheat, as they say, will separate from the chaff. Just my two cents.
cautiousswitch Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 10 hours ago, ReddRabbit said: New to this site but I’ve been around in the Life for a very long time, - I think it’s safe to say 21 years is a long time, and I’m not even counting my ***age years because I was very much learning and didn’t have a name for what I was until I was 19. However. I performed for a few years and showed kink photo art at events and was very active until I needed to take time out because of personal reasons. I’ve been slowly coming back recently and yes, things are different. Thank you for not counting the ***age years. It seems like the "worst" dommes I've met were people in their early 20s claiming 10 years experience. Yes, if they've been practicing since their ***s then technically it's experience, but it's also that age range when people assume they know more than they really do.
Ky**** Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 On 3/21/2020 at 7:38 PM, FabSeverus said: The reality is that bdsm gone viral and mainstream. Porn didn’t help ! Kids learn early about rough sex and all that bdsm stuff without learning the basic first. It’s the way society is now. It’s up to the slave/subs to decide what kind of Dom/Master they want to risk their experience with. how many time I saw on profile slave while the person is 19? 🤷♂️ or possibly worse advertising as Dom, by 19 it is possible to realise you are submissive and express an interest in undergoing slave training, I would, however, question how many 19 year olds really have the experience to be a good dom/domme
Deleted Member Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 51 minutes ago, Kymi said: or possibly worse advertising as Dom, by 19 it is possible to realise you are submissive and express an interest in undergoing slave training, I would, however, question how many 19 year olds really have the experience to be a good dom/domme They would say they have 5 years experience 😂
Deleted Member Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 53 minutes ago, Kymi said: or possibly worse advertising as Dom, by 19 it is possible to realise you are submissive and express an interest in undergoing slave training, I would, however, question how many 19 year olds really have the experience to be a good dom/domme I won’t recommend at 19 being trained as slave. Start by knowing your sexuality and mind set by being a submissive. Then when reach maturity then embrace the slave life.
ey**** Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 I feel there's often very much age versus attitude Someone 19 with the right attitude could very well have a better understanding or experience than someone of any age. It's why I don't necessarily subscribe to the "older equals better/wise" philosophy. That said. In general I tend not to look at ages - but... it's interesting of course that there are guys would hover after those younger/naive/inexperienced if they thought they could manipulate.
Ky**** Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 16 hours ago, FabSeverus said: I won’t recommend at 19 being trained as slave. Start by knowing your sexuality and mind set by being a submissive. Then when reach maturity then embrace the slave life. by slave instead of submissive are you referring to a 24/7 lifestyle? part time slave relationships do exist, or at least that's my understanding
Deleted Member Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Kymi said: by slave instead of submissive are you referring to a 24/7 lifestyle? part time slave relationships do exist, or at least that's my understanding a sub could be in a 24/7 also a slave relationship is totally different and no you cant have part time, this is the point of being a slave, your life is in total control. You are not you anymore you are a property with a number as identity. I am sure there is something here in the magazine about that subject. So yes a 19 years old could be trained a being a slave but at the wrong hand it could be damaging, and open to ***. If they don't have some experience or knowledge about the submission first then its not wise, thats my opinion.
Deleted Member Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 17 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: I feel there's often very much age versus attitude Someone 19 with the right attitude could very well have a better understanding or experience than someone of any age. It's why I don't necessarily subscribe to the "older equals better/wise" philosophy. That said. In general I tend not to look at ages - but... it's interesting of course that there are guys would hover after those younger/naive/inexperienced if they thought they could manipulate. correct to the point that 19 hasnt lived long enough to make some proper judgement. I am sure they all know about porn bdsm, but I am talking about embracing a life that involved a lots of sacrifice. some might chose young ones for manipulate them, but soon find out they will failed as young ones are not so stupid
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