Rocknrolla313 Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 Does anyone have any advise on how to improve my verbal dominance skills. I recently got back with my ex submissive. She is my first dominance bdsm partner and introduced me to the scene so she is far more experienced as a sub than I am as a dom. Her feedback is that the physical side of what we do is perfect but my verbal dom skills are not aggressive enough and sometimes I sound like a schoolteacher rather than a dom when speaking to her. She said that I used to ask her if she was ok too much when we were in a play session and it would knock her out of her slave head space. She said that she needs to feel *** from the content of my verbal BDSM rather just from the physical threat to make her submit fully. I love the dynamic we have and enjoy all aspects of dominating her so I want to make sure that I can provide her with an experience that fulfills all aspects of her submissive needs.
Deleted Member Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 Yes, as someone into Dominance BDSM I wouldn't take the stance of "she's more experienced, I need to listen to her". That's the opposite of being a dom, and certainly not a confident quality required to be one.
Brittone2 Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 You have to think outside the box..What I mean is go against what you think is acceptable ..The more off the cuff you are the more excitement can be generated..Just bare in mind that not everything is going to work but at least your trying to up your verbal dom skills.
qu**** Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 And you don't have to be overly vocal, with verbal domination, just occasional words/phrases can work, as long as tone of voice and attitude is right in your dominance BDSM play will flow.
Deleted Member Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 She would let you know if is not okay when she use the safeword so go for it with your verbal dominance until she do so. confident Dominance BDSM play takes work. Sounds like you're mostly there just need to up the verbal dom stuff.
Rocknrolla313 Posted March 21, 2020 Author Posted March 21, 2020 On 3/21/2020 at 4:57 PM, Brittone2 said: You have to think outside the box... Yes I think that's pretty much it.. Her feedback was that I was too polite and she couldn't feel enough aggression from me in my dominance BDSM wise. So I think I need stop worrying about taking it too far and just push the limits of what my head is telling me is acceptable and let her stop me with her safeword if I take the verbal dominance too far.
Brittone2 Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 When played out as a Dom it was almost the opposite of what I am.
Deleted Member Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 It takes time to develop your own style of Dominance BDSM means different things for different people. It sounds like you're working through overcoming your conditioned sense of how to treat a partner especially with verbal BDSM style. That shows you are a considerate person. To me that stands for a lot. I've found it helpful to watch videos. It's harder to find good old fashioned BDSM stuff but it is out there. Personal videos on FetLife were also helpful in the beginning and can help you get ideas for verbal dom phases.
DevlynDeVille Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 Hi Rocknrolla, I understand where you are coming from, the aggression doesn't always come easily for many Dominants. We're nice people at the end of the day that part of the scene is hard to make natural. If I could give a couple of bits of advise it would be to try writing a few lines down and ask your partner to so the same for what she'd like to hear when you verbal dom. Practice it away from the scene. When you use your voice do so when you're physically interacting. A slap, ***, hair pulled it twisted nipple will associate the physical aggression with the words for both of you. You'll be fine and if in doubt just add a growl as you say it. I promise she'll whimper at your verbal BDSM.
Deleted Member Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 First of all, it is good to hear that the two of you have a good level of communication. I would recommend not thinking of her as being more experienced, since she does not have experience in Dominance BDSM specifically. In that respect you are more experienced, and that is what is relevant. She merely has a better understanding of what she wants in your verbal Dom style I would imagine the two of you have established Safeties, such as a word for "stop". Rely not solely, but moreso, on your Safeties. Trust her to know when to speak up, and when to take it like the "good girl" you want her to be. For verbal bdsm advice, I recommend reading erotic stories that focus mostly on the Dominant and how he comes across, as this is what you are trying to achieve in your own efforts. I write my stories with the purpose of educating and inspiring, so I hope they will help you. Read the start of my profile description to find them. If you are interested, let me know and I can tell you more about them or recommend which are the best for you to read. Lastly, what you say is not all of it. How you say it, the tone of voice you use, and your voice itself; these three separate things will decide how your words come across. Again, some stories describe how the Dominant speaks, and also watch YouTube videos on how to talk deeper. Using a lower register in your voice, and adding a rumbling growl like Vin Diesel, will help emphasise that primal aggression your partner is after. Good luck, @Rocknrolla313
Deleted Member Posted March 21, 2020 Posted March 21, 2020 not all verbal BDSM is just Growl like van diesel 😂😂
je**** Posted March 22, 2020 Posted March 22, 2020 Tricky one, if as some others say, you're basically a nice guy acting roles in the bedroom...if your sub really does love that stuff...then think of things to say that 'decent' women would be shocked to hear from their man...whore, cock slut, dirty little bitch, are starters for verbal BDSM! Also....trust your lady. As you say she is more experienced...you don't need to necessarily check she's ok DURING a scene...that's what your safe words are for! Immersion into your role will hopefully bring a lot more satisfaction for BOTH of you! (Maybe watch some scary men in some movies too....copy them being menacing for your verbal dom scenes!) Good luck in your dominance BDSM mate
***fulsmiles Posted March 22, 2020 Posted March 22, 2020 Well first off, I think you're being too concerned about her... SHE can take it, can YOU dish the verbal BDSM? Just let go and do mean things to her, say mean things as you verbal dom and then you have the whole after play period to talk about things that were excessive, and even pet her for them. But never, never be too concerned. Good luck.
Tw**** Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 thankyou everyone for all the great dominance BDSM advice you are giving my dom/master rocknrolla
qu**** Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 Just read back on the original post, perhaps instead of sounding like a teacher try to be headmaster...
Deleted Member Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 You can be kind to your submissive and still be stern and powerful with your verbal BDSM, You just need to focus on your tone of voice when you verbal dom, even using loving words can sound intimidating with the right tone and eye contact.
Wo**** Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 Agreed... Verbal dom is all about tone, and conviction. And that "look"
Ar**** Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 You know it... the look says more than words ever could even in verbal BDSM💜
Phoenyx Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 On 3/21/2020 at 3:39 PM, Rocknrolla313 said: Does anyone have any advise on how to improve my verbal dom skills. This is not really a recommendation. Merely something to get the imagination flowing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur3121e_Cgg
Deleted Member Posted March 23, 2020 Posted March 23, 2020 I completely agree, even with verbal BDSM the look adds the dominance BDSM needs.
Deleted Member Posted March 24, 2020 Posted March 24, 2020 Rocknrolla313 if your as soft spoken as you say than thank about how turned on she's going to get when you raise your voice more grab her by the throat pin her arms down etc... Should give you motivation got to realize your doing what she wants be aggressive. (Giving she likes all that) had to throw that in there people keep telling me on post you can just talk to someone like that a real Dom earns respect blahhhh blahhhh fucking blahhh no shit. Anyways watch some BDSM porn for verbal dom hints use verbal/ degrading in search terms get some dominance BDSM ideas. Most importantly though get in her head figure out what she wants to hear and take control.
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