Question for all

[bi****]

As a single man and a Dominant man I'm asking both women and men this question
Is something wrong with me for having feelings for a younger married woman that is now my best friend? Just asking I'm not acting on these feelings I'm just asking if I need to step away from the friendship or not

[cr****]

Whats her feelings on this?

[Deleted Member]

Yes, do you know how she feels about you? There is nothing wrong with you for having feelings for her. Pursuing her on the other hand……

[sw****]

No don't ask her shit.. unless if she's enm. Poly or whatever you call it.. but that's it esp if she says do not confess feelings.. do not ask her if she's got feelings for you.. .. but. My whole advice is not to do shit. Just be her friend... don't do it..

[sw****]

Esp if she says no *..

[ey****]

Typically. We often cannot help who we develop feelings for, but of course can help what we act on.

Obviously - sounds like you're not doing that. That's good

Do you need to walk from the friendship? Why?  Why spoil a good friendship by being distant? It's only a problem if you make it one 

[Deleted Member]

Do you want her husband to know?

I see no problem as long as everyone knows and consents to it. Consent is key in BDSM. 

[CumWhatMayhem]

Will you be content with being in the friend zone, or will it grow into resentment for her or her husband? If you can handle it, keep it to yourself. If it becomes too ***ful to spend time with her and you feel like you must distance, tell her the reason why so she isn't left wondering forever.

[On****]

I'm going to put this out there from Dom to Dom, our first responsibility is "do no harm" to her well being, your second responsibility is to her existing dynamic, in this case her husband. She is owned, doesn't matter what you may feel, you respect them both always. If someday you are invited into their dynamic for whatever reason it will be because of this RESPECT to them and yourself.

[Ta****]

30 minutes ago, One4theRoad said:

I'm going to put this out there from Dom to Dom, our first responsibility is "do no harm" to her well being, your second responsibility is to her existing dynamic, in this case her husband. She is owned, doesn't matter what you may feel, you respect them both always. If someday you are invited into their dynamic for whatever reason it will be because of this RESPECT to them and yourself.

I do not like the phrasing "She is owned".
But I agree on keeping that one for himself unless she is heavily flirting or hinting. Then it would be time to perhaps open up - while staying respectful towards her marriage and not doing shady stuff behind the partner's back.

[DE****]

Stay in the friendship. She may pickup the vib. And if she doesn't you'll learn to accept your roll

[On****]

1 hour ago, TaliX said:

I do not like the phrasing "She is owned".
But I agree on keeping that one for himself unless she is heavily flirting or hinting. Then it would be time to perhaps open up - while staying respectful towards her marriage and not doing shady stuff behind the partner's back.

This is a kink site, this is a bdsm D/s M/s term, in vanilla context can be "taken, married, committed, betrothed, spouse, wife, husband, girlfriend" you choose which works best for you, but based in this case a marriage. It does not matter if she's flirting or outright inviting the OP to the bedroom, SHE IS OFF LIMITS.
Here's better advice, if she's "taken" then go ask the husband first

[bi****]

Ok

[Ma****]

Personally. I wouldn't be friends with a woman I found attractive.

[bi****]

39 minutes ago, MasterDomMahdi said:

Personally. I wouldn't be friends with a woman I found attractive.

Why?

[Ma****]

Because of reasons like your post .

[bi****]

10 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Typically. We often cannot help who we develop feelings for, but of course can help what we act on.

Obviously - sounds like you're not doing that. That's good

Do you need to walk from the friendship? Why?  Why spoil a good friendship by being distant? It's only a problem if you make it one 

Thanks

[On****]

This is a troubling exchange, Dominance requires requires responsibility and control of yourself first, how you conduct yourself in all aspects and the humbleness to accept we can not demand trust, it's earned, it's protected with the integrity she will breathe in to her submission.
Birmingham, you mentioned she's a best friend? enjoy that friendship and flirting as a compliment so long as it's consensual** (**okay with you, her and husband)

[bi****]

5 minutes ago, One4theRoad said:

This is a troubling exchange, Dominance requires requires responsibility and control of yourself first, how you conduct yourself in all aspects and the humbleness to accept we can not demand trust, it's earned, it's protected with the integrity she will breathe in to her submission.
Birmingham, you mentioned she's a best friend? enjoy that friendship and flirting as a compliment so long as it's consensual** (**okay with you, her and husband)

I will thank you

[An****]

Genuinely, my friend, I would recommend maybe stepping away and reflecting on your present relationship.

If she's TRULY your best friend, then you should want what's best for her. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking "I'm better than her husband", but that's the toxic thing to do. I think you need to accept that you are barking up the wrong tree. Accept that you make her happy, but not in that way.

I also, in my limited experience, know that it is VERY easy to conflate strong feelings of lust with actual feelings of love. I would recommend reflecting on that. Do you truly love her for her? Or do you just really like her in bed? If you could never see her naked again, would your feelings remain?

If yes, then I implore you to remember that she's your best friend. And if you truly loved her, you should want what's best for her and support her no matter what. I know that the feelings won't disappear, but they do fade. What helped me before is truly hammer in the fact that you want the best for her, accept that she's happy, you make her happier, and just appreciate what you currently have with her.

But to answer your question, no. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. But is it wrong to feel this way. Unfortunately, yes it is. I hope all my yammering might help you.

[Darknightshadow]

You’re not the sharpest tool in shed

[bi****]

16 hours ago, Copdommd1 said:

Yes, do you know how she feels about you? There is nothing wrong with you for having feelings for her. Pursuing her on the other hand……

I really don't know how she feels but she does show alot of affection towards me but I'm not pursuing it

[kinkymasterandrew]

Feelings are normal and not under your control, so nothing is wrong with you feeling anything, any more than any other person having any other feeling. The only things that are good or bad are actions, so do the good actions and cut yourself the same slack you should cut anyone for anything they can't control.

[Wi****]

Before anything happens, you need to know that she's just being kind. I know from personal experience that someone giving compliments or just general warm interactions doesn't mean they are into you. Found that out the hard way.

Now for your feelings. Yeah, that can be normal. Especially if you're not used to others treating you so nicely (again, personal experience). It's good that you're keeping it under wraps and not acting on it.

My best advice would be to get some therapy to sort through the emotions to make it easier to dismiss since it's good to have friends. Especially best friends. Emotions are complicated and best dealt with delicately. Acting on the feelings could ruin the friendship, but so could stepping away. Maybe you could even ask her to introduce you to some lady friends? It's just something to direct your feelings towards. Regardless, the choice is up to you.

Good on you for reaching out and asking! That can be a hard step :)

[ju****]

Beautiful says it all.....