Things you didn’t think you would like

[Deleted Member]

New subs- ok and Doms- you can join in if you like!!

i would love to hear about things you thought you wouldn’t like but turns out you do!!!

when I first starting talking to And getting to know Sir- I was telling him what I would and wouldn’t do. So wisely he asked if certain things were “no no’s” “no maybe’s” or “no but might be yes’s”!! I found this approach odd as a very new sub and strong modern woman I was taken aback as no has always just meant “no no”. 

As time has gone on and I’ve tentatively entered the rabbit hole of BDSM I have yet to find any “no no’s”!

to name a few of my “no no’s” which are now very much “YES YES’s”:

- breath play

- face fucking 

- anal play

- breast torture (is that the right word?!)

I would love to hear about how you have pushed/ tested personal boundaries. I am still so new and impatient to know what’s next!!

[VictoriaBlisse]

I hear you. I was always very 'noooooo waaayyy' about electric and nipple clamps. 

I tried electric and loved it and that led to trying electrified nipple clamps (don't worry peeps, it was all safely done, no charge went across my chest!) and well, those 2 things are no longer no-nos. 

 

[Pa****]

Just checking if you discussing grading scales for BDSM activities, that are very helpful and highlight hard and soft limits or if your discussing consent and how to approach activities where curiosity exists.

If your discussing consent, there is helpful information available for outlining consent with a partner, which include consent violations and consent incidents and how to discuss these with a partner...it's applicable to both Dom/me(s) and sub(s) so that the relationships stay healthy and promote communication...we've all jumped the pace of a partner at some time or another and even mis-understood each other...sorry, just the loss of trust hurts more and when in silence can taint any relationship or even the passion for kinks. 

This is an area, I wish both Dominant(s) and submissive(s) would discuss more in detail...play safe and have fun.

 

[Deleted Member]

I hear ya Fire!! Lol. What started as hard limits for me are now nowhere in sight, and I LOVE things which a few months back would not have considered. Extreme breath play being my fav thing right now. Also being bound in very vulnerable positions. Always loved breast torture but now able to cope with other elements in play with this. I no longer feel so overwhelmed. I love pushing limits and training, hearing how pleased Sir is with me. I think the biggest development is that im much more open minded now and would be prepared to try most things once as long as the introduction is slow... my limits to pain have definately increased. Sir has to train hard in the gym to keep his biceps big for the type of beatings I love receiving with a bare hand/crop or flogger...or all 3!!..mmmmm

[Curvy-7491]

I am a very new sub...... If required ..... I will never do watersports or humiliation but I do feel my experience out of bdsm has helped massively to adjust from the one taking the control..... My experience is heightened by the other person's reaction so I'm pretty open to everything else.... I always have a stop word for all involved rather than no as no can be confusing as not sometimes meant

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, PatientTraveller said:

Just checking if you discussing grading scales for BDSM activities, that are very helpful and highlight hard and soft limits or if your discussing consent and how to approach activities where curiosity exists.

If your discussing consent, there is helpful information available for outlining consent with a partner, which include consent violations and consent incidents and how to discuss these with a partner...it's applicable to both Dom/me(s) and sub(s) so that the relationships stay healthy and promote communication...we've all jumped the pace of a partner at some time or another and even mis-understood each other...sorry, just the loss of trust hurts more and when in silence can taint any relationship or even the passion for kinks. 

This is an area, I wish both Dominant(s) and submissive(s) would discuss more in detail...play safe and have fun.

 

I think the way that Fire is thinking is in respect to initail convesations we had regarding the Defanately No means No chat we had when first talking .Consent i see as a different aspect regarding to the yes's maybe's and not sure's. The aspect of the questions let's say choking for example this was asked and the answer I had was a definitive NO but the true reality of this was totally different from the perceived view .  This could go onto the vanilla pre-conceived views which as we know is totally different from the actual act when done with consent and care this comes back to content issue in your post. As we all hopefully know a TRUE D/s power exchange relationship is based on total trust and comunication and on this there are NO short measures both Fire and I must without exception be on the same page so to speak . We have a safe word as the word no can be re-interpreted in other ways and we also know that the safe word is a last resort and thus used only when absolutely required . Coming back to the original post the view that you initially have 're acts can change once the trust dynamic is firmly established and we always dissect any play afterwards then any uncomfortable feelings can be talked about and then acts can be modified to remove or manage the said feelings I'll add more when time allows. 

C.

[sc****]

Face slapping was always something that worried me, but as with many things it was just a mental block and the reality was very different to my expectations. I find it really exciting now.

[Deleted Member]

This is a great thread fire and highlights the crazy way in which BDSM is truest. Journey of self discovery - and not just rhetoric. 

What has amazed me along the way is the power of open communication. 

[Deleted Member]

True comunication is so rarely experienced in vanilla relationships because we all have preconceptions about how it's going be received. This is one thing that's really surprised Fire as to how open I am I have no filter regarding comunication no taboo subjects this creates a trust that is rarely experienced and is something so valuable. C

Edited December 19, 2017 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, Mrchristopher70 said:

True comunication is so rarely experienced in vanilla relationships because we all have preconceptions about how it's going be received. This is one thing that's really surprised Fire as to how open I am I have no filter regarding comunication no taboo subjects this creates a trust that is rarely experienced and is something so valuable. C

I LOVE THE COMMUNICATION AND HONESTY ASPECT!! That was actually shouting about it because I love it so much!! I have always aspired to it and promote it but it’s so rare to find it. I have also found very honest and clear communication with the beautiful subs I have made friends with and I admire it so much 😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍

[Pa****]

Apologises for stealing the mojo of the thread, just remembering when words started to take different means and contexts. Crossing the boundary of consensual - non consent is still a dangerously and delightful experience, teasing at a curiosity of a new experience.

The sweetest part of BDSM is communication and the trust that develops, where topics can be discussed freely, fears are replaced with respect, doubts with trust...communicating needs and chatting and discussing anything, even things that make you step back a little and just appreciate kinks and fetishes for what they are or might be. Or just the little things "do I look good in this top?", you can be really honest.

Vanilla days can stay in the confused past, love being open and honest.

Edited December 19, 2017 by PatientTraveller
gramma again and maybe spelling.

[Deleted Member]

46 minutes ago, PatientTraveller said:

Apologises for stealing the mojo of the thread, just remembering when words started to take different means and contexts. Crossing the boundary of consensual - non consent is still a dangerously and delightful experience, teasing at a curiosity of a new experience.

The sweetest part of BDSM is communication and the trust that develops, where topics can be discussed freely, fears are replaced with respect, doubts with trust...communicating needs and chatting and discussing anything, even things that make you step back a little and just appreciate kinks and fetishes for what they are or might be. Or just the little things "do I look good in this top?", you can be really honest.

Vanilla days can stay in the confused past, love being open and honest.

No apologies needed as the thread has evolved perfectly 

 

Fire 🔥 

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Firewitch said:

No apologies needed as the thread has evolved perfectly 

 

Fire 🔥 

I second what my beautiful girl has said no apologies required..C

[Robustlove]

When I was first venturing into the world of kink and Domming in general back in my late teens I always thought that seeing as I was both a Dominant, but a kind and caring soul that I would never be all that interested in consensual but aggressive sexual violence or what some would call rough or forced sexual play. It was something that back then I thought I would never have an interest in, but as I started to explore my Dom nature more I cam to not only enjoy it, but need to express it as part of who I am as a Dominant. 

On the flip-side of that I also thought that I would enjoy living in a 24/7 D/s relationship where I was Dominant and making all the decisions and taking full responsibility for everything 24/7. I soon found out juts how draining and stressful that can be for a Dom and found that while I do remain Dominant in many aspects of my life, that for me, a good relationship only works well when there is more of a balance and the Domination is more romantically, sexually and in the privacy of our own home. 

[FrankLindy]

I have always been raised to be a gentleman. I never would have thought about spitting on a female. Much less  Face slapping. And why would you do those things to someone you love?  Those actions made no sense 2 years ago.  Now I'm looking for a woman that wants them.

[Deleted Member]

On 20/12/2017 at 8:23 PM, FrankLindy said:

I have always been raised to be a gentleman. I never would have thought about spitting on a female. Much less  Face slapping. And why would you do those things to someone you love?  Those actions made no sense 2 years ago.  Now I'm looking for a woman that wants them.

This fits nicely with me. Never thought I’d be choking and slapping the woman whom I love with every bit of me- mind blowing.

Have to also note PT’s typical gift of simplistically impactive terms .... “confused past of vanilla “ clearly highlighting the amazing freedom clarity brings through open and honest discussion and adventure 

Goose